Monday Madness: Take It Like a (Wo)Man

Giving critiques is hard. But, sometimes, it's even harder to get them.

Critiquing requires a certain level of maturity, and the same goes with being on the receiving end. It's easy to bask in the glow of people saying, "OMG, you are AWESOME...when can I buy your book???" But not so easy when people are like, "Meh. It was okay. Didn't really do it for me though." Or, even worse, "Your book sucks. Please go burn it now." I've experienced all three types. And, sometimes it's hard to not take it personally. But, remember, in most cases it's not about YOU, it's about the story.

What's the difference? Sometimes it's hard to tell. Stories can be like babies...really ugly babies that only you could love. But you still love them and when someone is like, "Whoa, what an ugly baby!" you can't help but be offended.

Sometimes, I've even cried. Sometimes, I've REALLY disliked the critter. Sometimes, I mutter profanities to their avatars. Because it's hard to look at the ugly, naked truth of your story. But don't take it out on the critters. Most of the time, they're just trying to be helpful. And, usually, when I'm finally able to distance myself enough from my story (and my ego) to digest what they're saying, they are right.

It's all about building a thick skin. About learning to recognize credible critiques from the not so credible. And learning to go with what feels right to YOU in the end.

And, if you feel like you're being attacked, the best course of action is to ignore that person. Even if you want to paste angry emoticons all over the screen, DON'T. Simply thank them for their suggestions (or, if you can't even do that, for their time).

It's okay to disagree with what a critter says.

Repeat that: It's okay to disagree with what a critter says.

And remember: When it comes to critiques, be the bigger person, both in giving critiques and receiving them.