I've NEVER laughed so hard in my life!

Had to share!

I hate being a grown-up

I was never one of those girls who was like "OMG, I can't wait until I'm sixteen, eighteen, twenty-one, etc." I looked on every year of my life that I lived with a sense of nostalgia. One year older meant fewer things I could get away with. No more dolls. No more make-believe. No more asking Mom for money.

Growing up meant hormones, bills, and responsibilities. Being a grown-up, despite it's perks (freedom from parents (sort of), ability to consume alcohol legally, voting, driving, etc.) really sucks most of the time. And I'm tired of it. I just want to ESCAPE being a grown-up for a little while.

Right now I'm in the middle of all these people and all their crap. My fiance wants to move to the country, which is fine, but he wants to move to the other side of the county, which would take me away from my family, my friends, and all the places that I'm familiar with. Maybe I'm a coward, but I like the familiar. I'm comfortable with the familiar. And I'm really bad at growing accustomed to new situations. (It scared the bejesus out of me to move into a place with my fiance (then boyfriend) and it took me MONTHS to get used to it.) The lady that he's wanting to rent from can't make up her mind though. She's not sure when we'll be able to move in. She wants to leave some of her stuff there. Etc. She can't make up her mind!!!!

Meanwhile, we're renting from my brother. It's a really great deal, a nice house with a big yard (even if it is in the middle of town) and it's reasonably quiet. We don't have to worry about a flighty landlord or nosy landlord. We pretty much can do as we please as long as we don't go knocking walls down. Well, my brother said he was going to put the house on the market. Which, to me, was the signal that we should look for somewhere to rent. But, as I have mentioned, the lady doesn't know when we'll be able to move in. So I can't tell my brother when we're moving out (if ever). And then, after I tell the lady, YES we are interested in renting from you, my brother decides not to put his house on the market after all. So, shit, we can't move out without making sure he has renters ready to move in. (This is not his stipulation, it's something I feel obligated to do since he was helping me out.) But WE DON'T KNOW WHEN WE CAN MOVE INTO THE OTHER PLACE!

Finally, I became so stressed out that I told Jake (fiance) with tears in my eyes that I couldn't take the constant NOT KNOWING anymore. Plus, our wedding is only FIVE months away and everything is being done in THIS area, so could we please just decide that we're staying where we are at until after the wedding. AT LEAST. He agreed, but with the stipulation that I have to tell the lady that we're no longer interested in the house right now.

Fucking figures.

And then my brother sends me a text message today saying that WE are stressing HIM out because of this constant "we're moving, no we're not" (as if he knows what the hell I'm going through) and gets all waspish with me and says "I'm going to make you sign a new contract after your wedding" which I say is reasonable, but it still hurts because I'm not meaning to stress anyone out (and HELLO, have you seen my mental breakdowns?) and I hate that all this somehow has become MY FAULT. (It wasn't MY decision to try to move somewhere else. Okay? That was all the FIANCE's idea. So why the fuck am I the one who has to call the lady???)

Meanwhile, I still have to call the lady and tell her we're not interested, which makes me feel like crap because I feel like I led her on. But, really, it's the other way around. And I feel bad for her because the whole reason she's moving is to be closer to her father who is dying of cancer and OMG, could I be any more GUILTY???

(And, no, I don't care that I've used multiple run-on sentences.)

(And I apologize for the cuss words. Sorry.)

Movie Time: Avatar

I watched Avatar this weekend. I'd heard mixed reviews about. Some said that yes, the special effects were awesome, but the storyline was only so-so. Others just said the whole movie was awesome.

I'm in the latter category.

First off, the special effects and world building was breathtaking. Breathtaking! Even on my rinkydink television I was awed. But if that had been all there was to the movie, I would have been disappointed. Luckily, it wasn't.

The story played back to the Pocahontas tale. Handsome hero goes to new world to tame it, meets beautiful native and learns about her world. There's, of course, the battle for the hero between what he is used to and this new world's enticements--and which he wants/needs more. And it, surprisingly, wasn't as predictable as you would suspect. There were moments when I wasn't sure what would happen, even though I was pretty sure the movie would have a "happy" ending.

There were moments that were touching and moving. I actually cried MORE THAN ONCE during this movie. And I laughed as well. The dialogue was excellent and Sigourny Weaver was amazing as Grace. (You know it's a good movie when even the supporting actors are awesome.)

And, maybe it's the hippie in me, but I loved how the Na'vi were so attuned and even physically connected to the life around them. That was probably one of my favorite (if one of the strangest) parts of the movie.

This is a movie that I want to watch again and again. It dazzled me. Really. If you disagree, well, you can just bite me. (Yes, that's how much I loved this movie. Even my fiance said it was the best movie he'd seen in a long time... and he's picky.)

I'm hoping to watch it again sometime this week. :)

Oooh! Oh! Oooh!

I'm nearing the end of my writing "break". Exciting. I feel refreshed. I really do. And a lot more relaxed.

Next week (like Monday) I'll be diving back into revising DRAGON QUEEN. I've already got some ideas simmering.

This weekend it's supposed to rain, so I will be compiling some more of my old drawings and paintings and also focusing on creating more work. I will also be going to Olive Garden (I hope) and splurging with the gift card my coworkers gave me for Professional Assistant's Day. I feel so loved.

My poor zombie cat is being taken to the vet today. He'll probably get his tail docked and need to be on meds. Oh, and did I mention he got bit by something? Yeah, so his leg is literally oozing. (Gross!) But at least he's been living up to his nickname. Hopefully after this enormous vet bill he'll take it easy for a while. He and Gypsy (the dog) are also getting their rabies shots. Don't need to have a rabid zombie cat running around.

And yesterday, my fiance and I traded in his motorcycle for a jet-ski. Awesomeness. Needless to say, I will be spending most of my weekends getting sunburned and windburned at the same time! :D

OMG! I might actually meet one of my goals!

OMG!

I am on Dragon Queen's Epilogue.

Yes, you read that correctly. Just a few more pages of writing brilliance and I shall be done. D.O.N.E. Let the accolades ensue.