Goals for May

I'm a goal setter. I have been one from a very young age. When I was in middle school, I told myself that I would be valedictorian. Viola! Goal achieved. When I was in high school, I told myself that I would get a full ride to college. Check. When I was in college, I told myself that it was about time I took my writing seriously, put my work out there, and did my darnedest to get it published. Well, I'm doing that. Next BIG goal: Get an agent. After that: Get published.

But I'll focus on the smaller goals for now. Here are my goals for May.

1. Revise at least one chapter of DRAGON QUEEN each day. (That should put me through the first revising stage by the middle of the month.)

2. Continue working on my WIPs. Namely ONE THOUSAND. According to Ginger Clark, mermaids are so HOT right now. (Which means by the time OT is finished, it will be the opposite.) Lol.

3. Perfect queries for DQ and FURY. By the end of this month, I'll try sending out queries for FURY again. I think I have a better grasp on the query that I need... and it's not the one I sent out previously.

Three goals sounds pretty doable to me. :)

Spit, Rub, Rub, Spit, Rub, Rub, Viola!

You've heard it. I've heard it. Don't send your manuscript until it's polished. Or, as I like to say, spit-shined (just to gross people out).

You would think this wouldn't take a lot, right? Maybe just one or two revisions. A final read-through to make sure there are no glaring errors, and then let the querying begin. As I (and other writers) can attest. It's never that simple.

FURY has gone through SEVEN complete revisions. This means that I have chopped, cut, rearranged, rewritten, unwritten, shredded and reworked FURY seven freaking times. But, thank the Lord, I think I've finally gotten my manuscript to that spit-shined stage. (Spit-shining takes a tad more effort than polishing, in my opinion.)

But--hooray--it's finally there. It's finally ready. And, OMG, the feeling is almost euphoric.

Want to know the process? Sure, I'm happy to share.

1st draft -- Written in pieces and then sort of slung together. Transitions were choppy. Character arcs were barely there. Motivations were muddled.

2nd draft -- Smoothed out transitions. Thought of lots of cool plot points to add. Worked on characters, but they still came up short. Villain came up one-dimensional and too blatantly evil.

3rd draft -- Oooh, ooh! New plot twist. Worked on characters again. Added new scenes. Got rid of scenes. Reworked Fury's character (she was just too dang whiny) and gave Caden more of a background to make him less stereotypical.

4th draft -- (This is the one my critique group got to see.) Descriptions were superfluous. Transitions were choppy again. Characters were NOT sympathetic, especially Caden. Villain is still too one-dimensional.

5th draft -- Finally figured out what my characters wanted, but could not make them get there. (In real life, they would have run from each other the moment they met.) Tweaked personalities some more. Added some more of the Fae'len aspect into the story. Embellished Fury's power and gave it significance. More background info, and yet less (made it more meaningful and concise).

6th draft -- Everything is reading much smoother, but the characters are still not reaching their potential. Readers still don't care for Caden, so his introduction had to be rewritten. Devourer's powers are more specific. Fury and Caden's wants and needs are finally coming together.

7th draft -- Smoothed over jagged descriptions and transitions. Dipped deeper into Caden and Fury's heads (and hallelujah, they are finally coming across sympathetic and REAL). Rewrote some scenes that were a bit flat and missed their purpose. Found spelling errors and corrected rough syntax. And, gasp, I am DONE.

Argh! Query time!

Whew! and Whoo!

I'm finally done with the chapter summaries on FURY. 13 pages later. Yes, there are 45 chapters plus an epilogue. And I tried to cover all the points in each chapter, even if I know I won't be using them in the synopsis.

But this was actually pretty helpful to me. There were a few chapters that didn't flow as well as I would have liked and I was able to fix them (before sending it out to agents, I might add) so YAY!

I will probably do this with DRAGON QUEEN, too. It's time consuming, but it's worth it.

Whistle While You Work

I'm in a good mood this morning, which means I've finally stuffed my inner rage/disappointment/depression into the corner it usually occupies.

Which means: More writing to do today. Still working on the chapter by chapter summary of Fury (the first step to beginning my synopses). More than halfway done, so yay!

I will also be working on ONE THOUSAND and my evil tree story. EVIL TREE (working title) is a bit slippery at this point. I thought first person POV would be appropriate, but now I'm not too sure. Morgan is coming off a bit melodramatic. Not what I was going for. So I might try an exercise in third person limited today. Depends.

Apparently Writer's Digest will be releasing the names of the finalists in its short story contest this week. I'm not holding my breath, but I am crossing my fingers. Please, professional somebody, like my work. (Fingers hurting now.)

Ideas Are A-Swimming

Since FURY is officially on the back burner until my beta reader (a wondrous and generous person) gets back with me (aside from the dreaded synopsis writing), I have been able to procure a few new story ideas.

I've got the itch again, people. The writer's itch. No fear, it's not contagious (except maybe to other writers).

I will be expanding ONE THOUSAND soon from its short story stagnation to a novella or even a novel. There's so much potential there that I'm not limiting myself.

But, I have to share a new idea with you. I had a very vivid, fantastic dream about a dark, outcast girl who inadvertently causes evil things to happen around her. She's even been accused of killing her parents. And when the beautiful Priestess goes missing, fingers point at our outcast. It doesn't help that everyone knows Outcast has a burning desire for the Priestess's lover, so of course she must have been the one responsible. But Outcast is freaking tired of the accusations and she's ready to prove all the idiot villagers wrong by going into the evil tree that has taken the Priestess and saving her. (And to assuage her own guilt that maybe she DID make this happen.)

And on that note, here's a picture of the Outcast, Morgan, as she prefers to be called.

Yes, I did draw that myself. I'm itching to draw Achlys (the MC in One Thousand) and will probably do so once I get my freaking taxes done.

However, I HAVE noticed a trend in my writing lately. Dark. Dark. Dark. I am a dark fantasy writer, people. Or a dark fantasy romance writer. Whichever. :)

D.O.N.E.

I am finished with the final revision of FURY. Hooray!

I'm crossing my fingers that I corrected the weaknesses in the story and improved the character development and flow. (Please, God? Please?)

I will try to read through it by this weekend. If we lose power with the nasty weather moving through, I have a kerosene lantern, so I should be set. And it will also minimize the distractions. (I'm trying to look at the bright side of this, people!)

After I read through it (and try my hardest not the make more edits), I shall write the synopsis. After that? Agents, here I come. Fair warning.

Interference!

Not been able to write or edit much lately. Due to, well, life. I know. It's a pesky little thing, isn't it?

Fury is coming along slowly--and in a completely different direction. The ending has changed, and since I've given it free reign to be a romance novel, all those elements want to come to the forefront. But this novel is like a carefully made lasagna. Layers after layers of yummy goodness (har.har.) that begs every brain cell possible. This is not a story I can write without actually THINKING. Which is probably why it irritates me so much. I don't really like to think a lot.

Last night I went to bed musing on a different first chapter for Dragon Queen. Something with a little more oomph. No worries, it shouldn't change the story much if at all.

I've also been eyeballing Last of the Elves. It's about time I kept my promise to a dearly departed friend and write the damn book and dedicate it to her.

But, in the meantime, there is life. When it stops being so clingy (har.har.), I'll get back into my writing groove.

Eating Worms

I've always struggled with an extremely low self-esteem. It can be attributed to a number of things, but I try not to dwell on it. Still, I have a very big voice in my head that's constantly muttering "You can't do that," "No one likes you," "Everyone hates your story," "Go eat worms," blah blah blah.

When the voice starts screaming at me, I often have to take a break. Usually from reality. So, I'll immerse myself in a novel (someone else's, not mine) or play mindless computer games, trying to drown out that voice with someone else's.

Right now, the voice is screaming. It tends to do that a lot when I'm working on FURY. I don't know if it's trying to warn me that it's a worthless novel and to move on, or if it's just me being stupid. What I hate is that the writer can't shut out the voice to look at it objectively. Part of me will always think it's a story worth telling, while another part of me will always think it's a load of crap. And you know what the saddest part is? I don't have this kind of struggle with Dragon Queen. It's possible that is because Dragon Queen was written more for fun. I enjoyed the process and the story. Jade was so easy to write--perhaps because she was the lighter side of my writing ability (or disability). Fury and Caden are difficult. At times, I even dislike them. Which is strange--because a writer should never dislike her characters, right? (With maybe the exception of the villains.)

Sigh. Oh well. I shall forge ahead.

Give me back my Voodoo doll!

I'm sick. AGAIN. Not fun.

I've been told that it's because my immune system is so overloaded with fighting off stress, that it inadvertently lets the bugs in. First: upper respiratory infection. Second: stomach virus. I would take FIVE upper respiratory infections over the stomach virus ANY TIME. I, seriously, thought I was going to die there for a little while. (I was actually praying for it.) And then you know it's HELL when you finally go to the Dr. and in your feeble-minded, ego-bruised, I-just-want-to-die mentality takes another slap in the face when they force you to step on the scale and you've gained FIVE pounds.

WTF? I hadn't eaten anything in three days and I'd GAINED weight? If I'm going to puke myself to death I want to die looking skinny, people!

So, really, whoever has my Voodoo doll can you give it a rest, please? I think we're even.

To sum up this rant: I was sick. No, I did not work on Fury or Dragon Queen. I tried to work on DQ today but didn't get far. When I get home, I'm going to sleep and seriously hurt anyone who tries to wake me up.

No Longer Brain-Dead

I finally--let me repeat that--FINALLY had an enjoyable weekend. Meaning, I did things that were FUN and RELAXING. I spent time on MYSELF. (Pardon the Caps, but you must understand that for someone who doesn't have kids, this shouldn't be nearly as rare as it has been.)

I cleaned house a little, watched Mall Cop, played computer games, visited friends, went shoe shopping with my Mom (I'm happy to say I came back with NOTHING. Go me.), and slept in! Yay!

And then a miracle happened.

This morning on the way to work, I was actually musing about Dragon Queen again! WOW! I finally found out what it was that I didn't like about where the story was heading (it was feeling a bit repetitious) and now I can actually move on. And--more surprises!--I actually was able to look back at Ch. 1 of "Fury" and decide what was wrong with it. I have now, officially, began rewriting the beginning and scratching whole paragraphs. Go me! The new version is much more cohesive and makes better sense. However, it is still a rough draft, so I'm not completely happy with it, but it will get better.

On the note of beginnings, fellow writers need to check out Nathan Bransford's competition. You can post the first paragraph of your WIP or novel and if you win he will request a partial or a query or more! Consolation prizes are books and autographed bookmarks by one of the authors he represents. Cool, eh? Check it out! And good luck! (I might even post the first paragraph of "Fury"!)

An ADD Moment

I haven't been diagnosed with ADD, but sometimes I really think that I might have it. But then, I have to reevaluate and think that maybe it's just my mind rebelling against all the demands I put on it.

And then a part of it is sulking, just because.

The point is, I can't focus on anything today.

I was all gung-ho on editing "Fury", so I posted the first chapter on the writer's forum. The reactions so far are, well, not ones of amazed wonderment that I was hoping for. So I'm pouting. Just a little. (Never fear, I'll get over it.) But my zeal for editing "Fury" evaporated. I'm going through that moment that all writers go through: where you throw up your hands and ask 'what's the point?'

So, now that I'm throwing "Fury" dirty looks, I decided that maybe it was time to pick up "Dragon Queen" again. And, you know, finish it. I wrote a couple paragraphs but I'm stuck. There is SOMETHING MISSING! (Besides my confidence.) So I stared at the screen for a little while before throwing up my hands again and deciding to find something else to do. But nothing appeals.

Well, a nap appeals, but that's not an option at the moment.

Grr. Maybe I need some caffeine or something (except I'm not supposed to have caffeine. Bummer). Really, someone needs to whip me up a concentration potion (or at least chocolate cake).

I'm BACK!!!

I'm finally back from vacation (if you could call it that). 

I got back into Arkansas around 11:30 a.m. Friday and just wanted to shout for joy. I've seriously never been so stressed on a trip. And when you top dollops of stress with a recovering immune system, what do you get? 

Apparently, hair loss.

The sad thing is I'm not joking. Fortunately, I have enough hair to suffocate in, so losing a few handfuls isn't going to be too noticeable. Except that my hairdresser noticed. Eek. So I'm loading myself up with vitamins and meditation, and hopefully that will work.

It helps, too, that I'm no longer dealing with a 60-year-old man who acts like a freakin' toddler. Grr. There are some people that I wish to cut out of my life, but, unfortunately, they're related. So that's not possible. Drat it.

But, the point of this post (other than letting you know I'm back) is that I have to apologize. 

I'm sorry . . . because I did not work on "Fury" or "Dragon Queen" at all. I had the time, I'll admit. But I was so aggravated the whole time we were in West Virginia that I couldn't grasp the Muse. If I was writing a battle scene, I might have managed it. But, nope. Sorry. Sorry!

I promise to be a good girl (and a good writer) and write furiously this week. Hopefully we shall see the end of Dragon Queen soon!