I'm doing it again...

I have a big problem with complexity in stories. Not lack of it. Oh no. I have too much of it.

Why? Well, I love a puzzle. When I read a story, be it a mystery or not, I want to be able to guess at something and have an ah-ha! moment when everything falls together like it was supposed to. But, in my own work, I can't stop at one puzzle. Or even two. No. The more the merrier for me!

Which leaves me with a big jumbled mess.

I thought I'd finally gotten over this in FURY. I told myself "Just go A to B, Brandi. No more loop-de-loops. Clarify. Clarify. Clarify."

Except I got over-excited and did my whole "What if THIS happened!" and ka-blewy. There goes my linear story. Which might have worked if it was at the beginning. But I'm almost at the end for goodness sake. Grr.

Now, I have to take a step back and try to muddle through this new mess I've created. Messes are fun to make, not so fun to clean up. Especially in writing.

I Surrender!

I give up. I'm waving the white flag! And I'm admitting defeat.

FURY is a romance.

Let me repeat that: FURY is a romance. Not a romantic fantasy, but a ROMANCE in a fantasy setting.

Crap-ola.

I've fought it and fought it. But FURY is meaner and more tenacious than I. So I have thrown in the towel, hung up the gloves, and scraped at its proverbial feet. You, oh masterful manuscript (which is up to interpretation), have won. You've gotten your way.

Happy now?

Probably not. But you're just like your namesake, aren't you? (And, yes, I have spewed cliches all over the place...that's how upset I am.)

An ADD Moment

I haven't been diagnosed with ADD, but sometimes I really think that I might have it. But then, I have to reevaluate and think that maybe it's just my mind rebelling against all the demands I put on it.

And then a part of it is sulking, just because.

The point is, I can't focus on anything today.

I was all gung-ho on editing "Fury", so I posted the first chapter on the writer's forum. The reactions so far are, well, not ones of amazed wonderment that I was hoping for. So I'm pouting. Just a little. (Never fear, I'll get over it.) But my zeal for editing "Fury" evaporated. I'm going through that moment that all writers go through: where you throw up your hands and ask 'what's the point?'

So, now that I'm throwing "Fury" dirty looks, I decided that maybe it was time to pick up "Dragon Queen" again. And, you know, finish it. I wrote a couple paragraphs but I'm stuck. There is SOMETHING MISSING! (Besides my confidence.) So I stared at the screen for a little while before throwing up my hands again and deciding to find something else to do. But nothing appeals.

Well, a nap appeals, but that's not an option at the moment.

Grr. Maybe I need some caffeine or something (except I'm not supposed to have caffeine. Bummer). Really, someone needs to whip me up a concentration potion (or at least chocolate cake).

A sad, sad day

Something awful happened to me this morning.

I got up (no, that's not the awful thing) and was like "oh no! I think I overdrew my bank account yesterday!" (no that's not it either) and so I race to the computer (actually, stagger is more appropriate--it was 6 in the morning, after all) and wait while it slowly beeps to life.

Un-caffeinated, I stare at the screen for about three minutes before I realize that something is wrong.

Lots of white text on screen = normal (I found out today that the appropriate term for this is the 'post'). But then, at the bottom, it says "Insert media reboot device and press any key". Now, even when I am caffeinated, that makes me go "What media reboot device?" So, what do I do? I just press a key, cross my fingers, and hope that works.

It didn't. Like a patient school teacher, it repeated its message.

Well, I'll show you, computer!

I turn it off.

Wait.

I turn it back on.

If computers could laugh diabolically, mine would have. In a truly truculent moment, it whirs to life (yes, it whirs. The fan is huge) and refuses to do anything else. The screen is completely blank.

I blink at it for a moment. Debate about smashing said computer, and do the fail-proof fix. I turn off the computer again. Check all the connections. Make sure nothing is on fire (or looks like it's about to be). Check the connections again. Turn it back on.

It whirs to life and then...Nothing!!!

I start cussing. My boyfriend starts looking for exits. I reconsider my plan to smash computer to bits.

Leave for work. Discuss problem with IT guys. Diagnosis: You're probably going to need to replace the hard drive or motherboard or both.

My response: So, what you're saying is you're coming over to my house after work, right?

Blank stare.

My response: So, what you're saying is that I need to buy a new computer, right?

And, thus, my tragedy. Fortunately, I have a laptop I can connect, so all is not lost. But I'm going to coerce one of my friends to come over and confirm the diagnosis. Then I'm going to have him either A) fix it or B) recommend a new computer.

I like the idea of a new computer...if someone else wants to buy it for me. Any takers? :)