Secret-keeper or Blabbermouth?

I realized recently that I've kept my submission(s) for publication under the wraps. Maybe that sounds like I'm not submitting anything, too busy refining novels that have been refined to death and pouring new, horribly cliche ideas onto paper.

But I am submitting. I'm just more reluctant to tell people about it.

When I first got "serious" about being published, I told all my friends, relatives, coworkers and strangers on the street that I had this story out to that editor and queries out to those agents. I was so psyched just to be submitting, that I didn't really care (or consider) that my submissions might not be well-received. So when a few of them (okay, most of them) weren't, I was stuck with explaining the result to the people who were just dying to know when my story would be published. Can you say, awkward?

I'll take a dozen, please!

So, I've learned to keep it to myself. Not because I'm ashamed of submitting, or even worried it won't be accepted (there's a 50/50 chance), but I just don't want to have any more awkward conversations. Also, it's easier to deal with rejection when no one else knows you've failed (except, maybe, your spouse because your demands for chocolate therapy have exceeded their normal amounts). Also, there's some part of me that wants to keep my struggles getting published private for now. Because I haven't really "made it" yet, so all my failures are far outweighing my successes. One day, I look forward to making that "I've finally done it" speech, but for now, I'm just keeping my mouth shut.

What about you? Do you let everyone know you're trying to get published or keep it under wraps? Please, share!

Hit or Miss? Does It Exist?

I recently finished reading Cassandra Clare's City of Bones and have to admit that I really enjoyed it (besides the whole Jace and Clare being related thing . . .I thought they both accepted it too easily, especially since it came from The Bad Guy and also since they had the hots for one another, but I digress).

As I was reading some of the reviews on Goodreads.com, however, I discovered that, while some others absolutely loved it, there were an equal number that absolutely loathed it. Rarely did I come across someone who was in the middle of the road. Which got me thinking about something that happened to me recently in a critique group.

I had been getting rave reviews (or critiques, whatever) on my story. Most of the critters thought the MC was funny, charming and spunky. They thought the story was interesting, the plot solid. They couldn't wait to read more.

And then I had a reader who wasn't so thrilled. Whereas the other readers found my MC likable, this reader found her annoying, selfish and vapid. She didn't like the setting, the fact that she was a princess, and a whole grocery list of other things.

Now, I value each and every critique I receive and have learned through experience that sometimes the most negative critique can be the most helpful, but as the critter's critiques progressed in much the same manner, I realized that there was very little I could do to "fix it" without compromising the whole story.

So I gathered all the critiques I'd been given on the story and combed through them, wondering what I could do to make the character more likable for this one person without taking away what other readers had come to admire about her.

The conclusion: I couldn't. The very things that some readers admired about my MC, were the same things the one critter couldn't stand. I struggled with this for a while, because I am nothing but the queen of let's-make-everyone-happy, but it took reading City of Bones for me to realize that there is such a thing as a hit-or-miss book.

Want another example? How about Twilight by Stephenie Meyer? Hate it or love it? Usually readers feel one way or the other. I have yet to come across someone who read it who was merely indifferent. So, a hit-or-miss is possible. And, better yet, it's okay. It's okay for some people not to like your character or your book, for that matter, because others will. I think it boils down to audience--who the book was written for. When I mentioned that possibility to the critter, it was, of course, shot down and I was credited with being a "bad writer," but the more I think on it, the more I believe that it's true. My book wasn't written for that person, but it was for all those others. I just have to learn to be okay with that.

What about you? Have you read any hit or miss books lately? Had this same writing experience? Please share!

Writing, Drawing and Running

What do writing, drawing and running all have in common?

Once you step away from one of them for a while, it's almost like you have to start all over again.

Due to my hectic schedule, my writing has been sporadic at best. And drawing? Well, I haven't so much as doodled in a long time. But since I am currently in the lovely throes of winter break, I've found myself bombarded with the urge to create--both words and pictures.

Too bad everything I've produced is less than stellar.

My sentences are flat, my dialogue is lackluster, and my drawings look like misshapen cartoon characters. A five year old could do better. While it is very frustrating, it made me realize that writing and drawing, while requiring a certain amount of talent, require even more practice. Without practice, talent cannot grow. In some ways, it is like learning how to run.

In January 2011, I couldn't run a mile. Now, due to hard work, dedication and, yes, practice, I am running 5Ks and training to run a 10K. I have grown as a runner because I kept at it. I might have always had a "talent" for running (okay, more of an "ability") but if I'd stopped midway through the year, I couldn't very well be running 5Ks right now, could I?

I think the same idea--dedication, hard work and practice--applies to creative arts as well. Without constantly working at it, you can't improve. At best, your talent stagnates. At worst, it reverts (as with my drawing skills).

Now, I'm not saying it's not okay to take a short break from writing, drawing or even running at times, but it's best to keep in mind that letting something go too long can only harm your goals, whatever they might be. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience here. ;)

I love PURPLE.

Prose, that is.


I love purple prose. Call it a weakness, an indulgence, a slide into writer-insanity, but I seriously love purple prose.

According to Wikipedia: Purple prose is a term of literary criticism used to describe passages, or sometimes entire literary works, written in prose so extravagant, ornate, or flowery as to break the flow and draw attention to itself. Purple prose is sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context. It also refers to writing that employs certain rhetorical effects such as exaggerated sentiment or pathos in an attempt to manipulate a reader's response.


Honestly, most of my first drafts are so full of purple prose that it would make most writers cringe. Despite the above paragraph, I don't do this to "draw attention" to my writing. Instead, I do it because it's what comes naturally to me. I naturally write in that flowery, ornate way. To stifle that, or to try to correct myself, was seriously a pain in the neck and made first draft processes extremely long. Now, I embrace my purple prose and just write.


Funny, the more I learn about writing, the more I embrace the philosophy that in order to "be" a writer, you need to "just write." Ignore all the advice out there (good, great, and bad) and just write. 


When you get those words on paper then—and only then—do you take that advice (hopefully just the good and great kind) and apply it to your story. I've found that this is not only the best way to keep the vein of your story about, well, the story, but it will also help you stay true to your own voice.

Because . . .

Sometimes we need that reminder that we're not alone in this. That we need to keep trying.

A truly inspiring tale about rejection.

Monday Madness: One More Time!

You know how to tell when a writer is lying?

When they say, "Oh, yes, I'm on my final revision."

Or maybe it's just me.

I SWEAR that it's not just the perfectionist in me changing my mind halfway through said revision. Sometimes, it's not until you fix the little things, that you see that something bigger might need a polish. Or a rewrite. Love the rewrite. Embrace it. Buy it flowers.

I seriously did think that DRAGON QUEEN was almost ready; that I had finally reached the "final revision stage". And then in the process of changing one thing, I toppled the dominoes and got myself into a huge MESS of rewrites.

I'm at the dizzy, passionate phase of revising right now (as in, it's actually been gratifying and fun and exciting to see how much stronger my story is getting), but I know soon that I will tire out and be whimpering for mercy. But for now, it's great. Flowers everywhere!

For those of you who are rolling your eyes and muttering, "She's never going to be done with this story!" let me assure you that I'm doing the revisions correctly this time. I am not making significant plot or character changes, I am just amplifying what was already there, but was perhaps glossed over in an attempt to get the story out the first time (or second time, or third time) through. Relationships and characters are being fleshed out. Foreshadowing is being utilized. It's, really, just awesome how much these "little" things are making such a big difference.

And MAYBE after this, I will honestly be able to say that I'm on my final revision. And that makes me all tingly inside.

Monday Madness: Toning Your Core

I really like to exercise and I find it funny that a lot of exercise vernacular can be applied to editing a manuscript. I find it so amusing, in fact, that I thought about paralleling my exercise routine with my current editing process. However, if that were the case, I would have been toning my core for, like, three months straight.

That's right, I'm in the process of trying to get a sexier middle (in my manuscript rather than my actual abs). Thanks to some very helpful critiques, I realized that two of my middle chapters included a lot of summary rather than action (i.e. flab instead of muscle). So I went to work.

First there was the light stretching. I tried tweaking a word there, a sentence here.

Then the warmup: replacing telling with showing.

The actual exercise: scrapping entire paragraphs and scenes for others.

Then the cool down: fine tuning the scene.

Finally, the last stretching: tweaking of words and sentences.

By the time it was over with, I was mentally exhausted, but at least now I have a stronger core.

Drawing vs. Writing

It's been a horrid week and while I'll try not to bore you with the details, let's just say that it involved me threatening to kick a relative's rear end to next Tuesday and the newest addition to my furry family, Papi, a white chihuahua, being hit and killed by a car. So, yes. Awfulness abounds.

Some people might harvest this turmoil and use it to write something really dark and angry. Something that leaves tear stains on their keyboard. Not me. Despite my tendency to have a dark vibe in a lot of my writings, I'm usually NOT in that sort of mood when I write them. I'm usually in a pretty good mood, or at least a neutral mood. Writing in a bad mood leads to, well, a lot of unintelligible, melodramatic scribbling. Instead, I draw.

Drawing is therapeutic for me. My mind goes blank. The only thing that exists is the paper and whatever medium I'm working in (lately, it's been cheap ball point pen). My mind narrows in on the line, the expression, the shading. Nothing else matters.  And yet, it still becomes an outlet for my emotion. After I complete a drawing, I feel like some of the festering has gone away. I feel emptied. Scraped clean. Sometimes this feeling will last the rest of the day. Other times, it's only a moment. If it's the latter, I'll usually start working on another drawing.

I've been drawing a lot this week. It's probably a good thing. It's certainly allowed me to contribute once again to my Deviant Art page (which remained un-updated for, like, 6 months). I don't really draw to impress people and I'm certainly not the most talented artist out there, but I still like to share my works with others because every now and then, someone else will be like "I totally understand what this means" and it will make me feel not so alone.

This drawing is one that I finished this week. It's called "Sorrow" and I drew it the day Papi died, but before it actually happened. A premonition? I'm not sure.

Silencing the Superfluous Voices in My Head

But keeping the good ones.

Clicking on some of my previous blogs, I realized that I used to be helpful. I used to be "in the know" about writing and publishing and querying and all that inky stuff. So why did I stop?

Simple: Too many voices in my head.

I'm a people-pleaser. I also am an idea-monger. Those two traits do not help with writing. And I found myself, more often than not, struggling with conflicting advice rather than just trusting my gut.

I'll admit, I've also been going through enormous bouts of self-doubt again and moments of "why am I doing this again?" but I've really tried to keep them private. I got tired of having pity parties, for one, and then I just felt like a wimp. In fact, I went through moments where I thought, "Maybe I'm not ready for this whole writing career pursual." So, I took a step back.

It bothers me (quite a bit actually) that I'm no longer providing insightful, helpful information to the readers of my blog, but I'd rather be silent than sound like a phony. I have no authority in the matter, really. I'm just like (the majority of) you. A scribbler struggling to be a writer. But even as I read blog after blog (and still read a lot of blogs, mind), it took me a long while to realize that the most important thing to being a writer was something I was sacrificing so I could fit the mold of what everyone else wanted: my voice. I was so concerned about perfecting my technique, that I came to struggle with what is honestly the most important thing when it comes to writing: voice. Style. What makes your story different from the hundreds that came before it.

The sad thing is, before I had all these "expert" voices clamoring in my head for attention, I had a pretty good grasp on my voice. It's flowery and sometimes dark, sprinkled with humor and elaborate descriptions. It can be serious or light-hearted. It's almost always romantic. And of all the things that I know about writing (having a bachelor's degree in creative writing, I should know a little bit) it's that it doesn't really matter if your spelling is atrocious, your colons should be semi-colons, and you occasionally use one too many adverbs as long as you have an established and engaging VOICE.

Take my story The Dragon Queen for example. When I started it, I got a lot of flack for my main character, Jade, being "cliche". I worried and fretted about this for so long, that I couldn't even revise the story. I kept getting dragged down into the worry that she wasn't good enough. But then I realized there are reasons for cliches: because they're good. Yes, you see a lot of rebellious princesses, and, sure, if that's all there was to Jade, I could see it being a real issue. But it isn't. Why? Because of Jade's voice. Through her voice (or mine, whichever) the reader eventually reaches the conclusion that just because Jade is cast as a stereotypical, rebellious princess, doesn't mean that's all there is to her. And soon those same readers who had issues with her being a stereotype, ended up reneging their words soon after.

So, while I've learned to trust myself a bit more, I'm still refraining from dipping into the writer world of shoulds and shouldn'ts. Now, I'm trusting in my own abilities and the advice of a few helpful critters, and I'm a stronger writer because of it.

Monday Madness: Nope, It Still Hurts

I can honestly say these past couple weeks have been a huge stress fest. I've had family problems and financial problems and educational problems and then . . .

A rejection letter.

I should be used to these by now, right? But nope, it still hurts. It still makes that tiny voice I usually ignore scream, "YOU SUCK. HAHAHAHA! You thought you could write. Well (rude gesture), sucker!"

And I'm beginning to worry that voice is never going to go away. No matter how many (whimper) rejections I get, no matter how much I should be used to it, there's still a part of me that's crushed. One more of my little candles goes out. And those things are buggers to light (especially if you're afraid of matches, like me).

I have a little bottle of hand sanitizer hanging on my purse that has my astrological sign (Cancer) with a few words that describe that sign: Loving, Emotional, Dependable, Protective. Of course, Bath and Body Works totally scammed the $1.50 out of me just because those words resonated (I never use hand sanitizer; give me soap and water any day). And each time I see it, I think, "Yep, I'm totally like that." And I don't think that's going to change.

So what does hand sanitizer have to do with rejections? Let's refer to word number two: Emotional. I FEEL EVERYTHING. Sometimes too much. Replace that word with "Sensitive" and you've got me also. I take the most impersonal of things personally. And even though I don't blame the editor for not liking my story, I cannot help but be devastated.

Okay, let's add another word to that hand sanitizer bottle: Perfectionist.

I am an achiever, so when I don't achieve, it cuts deep. It frustrates me. Depresses me. Ticks me off. (Look, there's the emotional side again.) So then I have to go to the story, gut it, string it up, and whip it until it wails what's wrong. And then I leave it to bleed while I work on another story.

But here's the revelation: I'm always going to be like this. The rejections will always hurt, and I'm always going to go on some sort of perfectionist, emotional rampage trying to figure out what I did wrong. BUT I want it to hurt. I want to feel. You know why?

Because it means I care.

I care deeply for every story I write. It's never going to be about writing for money or for publication or even for an editor's pleasure; it's always going to be writing for the sake of satisfying a thirst to tell a story, to create, to share. And that's all that matters.

Monday Madness: Killing Your Love Child

I'm conducting a social experiment (secret: I like messing with people's minds sometimes) and it involves a status message on Facebook.

It says: Killing my love child.

Writers might smile and nod in understanding, but I'm pretty sure my family is going to pepper me with question marks and "WTH, I didn't know you had kids!" Or "Are your dogs okay?" Rest assured that no living, breathing person (or animal) was killed. Just some imaginary ones.

You see, I'm doing some housekeeping on DRAGON QUEEN. Mostly it involves getting rid of a lot of useless characters, who were there just to be there. They didn't have a purpose beyond making the MC look good, so, I took out the hatchet and started hacking away at them. Now I have gone from having about a bazillion secondary characters to only a million. I'm making progress. (I think I'll do the rest of them in with arsenic . . .they're starting to suspect me.)

I've been thinking about this massacre for a while, but it was only after I wrung a chapter through my critique group that I realized it was time to start sharpening the knives (er, pen) and finally do something about it. But killing a love child (or children, in this case) is pretty messy business. It required a lot of thinking and planning on my part. Who had to go? Who needed to stay? Which ones could be combined to make one character, instead of two or three? So, I got out my handy dandy notebook and made a list. Next to each character, I wrote their race (believe it or not, that's kind of important in this story--I'm talking fantasy here, too, so please don't pelt me with tomatoes), their personality traits, the reason for Jade wanting them to be her "advisors" and then I started knifing them in the ribs. (I'm really enjoying this murdering metaphor, if you couldn't tell.) I went from having eight advisors to five. Progress, yes? Then, of course, there were the dragons. Most of the dragons play important roles in the story and most of them have unique and well-developed personalities. The exception was the General, Gorn. He was just sort of there, hanging out, sharpening his claws, and bellowing orders. So, he got added to the hit list and I took his position, some of his traits, and slipped them into Tyar--who went from being a possible love interest (or at least lust interest) to being more of an older brother figure to Jade (to deal with some of the OMG everyone wants your MC issue), also it will make a certain scene that happens later in the book MUCH stronger, in my opinion.

Okay, I'm rambling here. But I just wanted to show you how I deal with my love child(ren). They're not as easy to do away with as you might think. Shrinking my character pool is actually taking some significant rewrites and cuts, but sometimes that's what you need to do to create a stronger (and less confusing) story.

But what about you? Any love children rotting in your basement?

Beta Reader vs. Critique Partner

I've recently dived into the field of beta reader. I looked at this as a thrilling opportunity to read some highly polished work by authors wanting that finish spit-shine before sending their novel into the hell of Queryland. Apparently I should have specified that.

You see, I was under the impression that a critique partner comes before the beta reader. Critique partners are for the nitty-gritty basics of the novel. They help with technique, show vs. telling, passive vs. active, character quirks, plot pitfalls, etc. They, basically, help you learn how to write. (This has been my experience anyway. And, truthfully, I have become a MUCH better writer thanks to my critique group.)

Granted, joining a critique group is tough, yet it's a necessary step to becoming a better writer. We're often too kind to ourselves, or just blind to our flaws, and nothing shines a spotlight on them like a bunch of other writers. Receiving critiques can be one of the most soul-crushing things you've ever experienced (yes, I've had a few of those less than complimentary critiques), but without someone to highlight your errors, how are you ever going to grow from them? AND there will be times (more often than not, I've found) that you will actually have someone LIKE what you've written, and offer you suggestions on how you can make your good story, great.

There is also the sneaky benefit of giving critiques. Not because you've finally found your chance to bash that writer who hated your MC, but because when you critique other people's work, it's easier to see what DOESN'T work in writing, and then you can apply it to yours.

So, to sum it all up: A critique group/partner should be your first step with your newly fledged novel. THEN comes the beta reader.

The beta reader looks at the BIG PICTURE of the novel. They focus on character motivation, plot arc, themes, motifs, pace. Betas should not have to stumble over "weak" writing. You should have a good grasp on writing technique and an even stronger grasp on your voice before you submit your work to a beta.

But this is just how I look at it. What's your take?

Monday Madness: A Writer's Weird Dreams

I have the blessing/curse of being a vivid dreamer, and last night I dreamed something so bizarre that I thought I would share it.

It started off with me and my sister (in real life, I don't have a sister) being left by our mother. Being the eldest (I am also the youngest in my family IRL) I was charged with the task of keeping my sister safe. There was some sort of natural disaster going on, an almost apocalyptic feel to it, and while the rain was pouring down and the lightning was shattering trees, my sister slipped out of my arms and disappeared.

The rest of the dream was the course of my life. I became fanatically obsessed with finding my sister, searching far out places and shopping centers with toys that came to life with the hope of finding her. I met odd characters along the way, some who promised to help me, others who tried to hinder me (mostly by killing me).

Towards the end of my dream, I finally found my sister. Except she was 32 and I was still only 16 or 17 (yeah, dreams don't make sense). AND she was Sandra Brown. Yes, Sandra Brown the writer. And when I hugged her and rejoiced that I finally found her, she just smiled at me and asked me what I was going to do next. Now that I'd found her--and she was doing just fine without me--my life's quest had been fulfilled. What did I have to live for now?

Nothing, I admitted. To which she gently suggested I end my life. In my dream, that sounded like a pretty good idea.

Does that freak you out as much as it does me?

Seriously, dreams are crazy, occasionally frightening, usually odd, and sometimes beautiful things. But I love the fact that I have ones that are so vivid because they are serious thought candy and can provide great inspiration for stories. So if you ever see a story about two sisters being separated in a post-apocalyptic world, you'll know where it came from.

5K Fever (And A Little About Writing)

I signed up for my second 5K today--the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. It will be April 30 in Rogers, so if you're in the neighborhood and want to watch my face turn flame red (no joke) then drop by. (Also, it's for a good cause.)

I'm trying to raise $100 before the race, so, if you're interested in making a contribution (yes, I'm a donation junkie) go here: bit.ly/i1EIRo


Despite having a race under my belt, I'm a little nervous. My husband has agreed to run with me, and I know that he (and everyone else I know) will leave me in the dust. That's okay, I guess, but I can't help but want to keep up. I've told myself that as long as I meet my time of 34:20 at the previous 5K, I'm good. Heck, it would be GREAT if I could shave a minute or two off of it. I'm going to train like crazy over the next two weeks. 


Okay, now for the writing stuff.


There was a discussion about how the more you learn about craft, the less you're able to ignore "bad" writing in books. Authors that you normally devoured lost their appeal. Errors leapt from the pages, the characters were flat, the plot static. And then you find that the book you loved two, three or five years ago isn't as spectacular as you remembered. 


What do I say to this?


Woohoo!


Maybe it's because I'm an overzealous editor, but I think it proves to a writer just how far they've come when they can find flaws in their past favorites. Sure, it can be annoying and it sort of takes the joy out of reading at times, but here's where I want you to know a little secret: you'll find better books and better authors and once again you'll be that blissfully happy reader. You will just be a special kind of reader: a finnicky one.


As I used to say when I was more arrogant (man, I miss being arrogant): I only read books by authors who can write at least as well as I can. Despite the snootiness of that comment, it's true. If a book is below your own skill (or at least your knowledge of skill), then it's very difficult to make yourself read it. So, you see, you're not becoming a worse reader, you're becoming a better writer!


Write on!

I Think I'm Broken

I've felt a little shifty lately (and, no, that's not a misspelling), and just can't focus. I wrote another short story, felt good about it, sent if off into submission-land, moved on. Poked and prodded at other projects, which just sort of twitched but wouldn't perform. Then I started scratching at rewrites and edits and got a little excited when they rolled over or begged, but the appeal quickly fled.

So, to sum it up to those of you who haven't given up on me after my long silences, I think I'm broken.

Granted, life has been BUSY and full of other things to focus on. I've been training to run a 5K and, yes, it's been emotionally, mentally and physically challenging. When I'm not actually training, I'm reading about training and shoes and run times and PRs (still have no clue what that stands for; practice runs?) and drooling over running gear that I could never justify buying ($40 for a pair of shorts? Haha). And all this fanaticism has just about drowned out that voice that tells me that it's about time I started writing again.

I feel distanced from my critique friends. I feel like I've missed too much and now I can't possibly catch up. I feel a little left in their dust, honestly. And while I am happy for the varied successes, I'm a bit overwhelmed. Just a few months ago, that was ME chattering about my latest WIP, characters, plots, offering critiques like they were going out of style. And then--I'll admit it--I received a lot of flack about some of my stories (not just in one critique group, either) and sort of got discouraged.

There, I said it. I am discouraged. And when I am discouraged it's difficult for me to be excited about a project, which means it's difficult for me to write it. If I lack faith in a story, it shows in the writing. So why bother?

So I briefly focused on other things. Things that had yet to be touched by that discouragement because, well, they were my "secret" stories. The ones that were too "mature" for my critique groups. While writing them, I regained some of that faith and confidence in myself. I thought that even if I couldn't write the traditional fantasy stories that I wanted, I could at least write about sex. (And I can do it pretty well, if I do say so myself.) But as much as I enjoy writing my naughty stories, they're not what really calls to me.

Honestly, it's like that Langston Hughes poem, "A Dream Deferred." I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for something to happen that rekindles that dream. But maybe it's too shriveled up at this point.

It's not like I haven't tried. I HAVE. I've even posted new strictly fantasy stories up for critique and received encouraging reviews, but that spark is still gone. I don't know how to get it back.

My 5K is April 16. After that I'm going to really dig in and focus on my writing. This dream may deferred, but I'm not giving up on it.

Write Like You Mean It

Note: I totally borrowed the inspiration for this post from today's post over at The Sharp Angle. (Haha, I read your blogs more than you might think, Lydia!)

I have a one track mind sometimes and only enough passion in my body for a limited number of things. Namely, my husband, my pets, my family and then one other thing. Lately, it's been running.

I run at least three times a week. Without fail. Compared to some runners, that's probably laughable, but to me it's a big commitment. It takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, and not a little sweat to pound out 3 miles three times a week. And, yet, I love it.

I used to feel that way about writing.

Some part of me still does. I still have ideas flitting around in this skull of mine, but no NEED to write it. I used to write almost every day. I had to or I felt like I would go crazy. Not all the words were gems, but at least they were out on paper. At least I made the effort, took the time, and sweated out the words. I've decided that I need to do that again.

Lydia talked about how she gets into her writing groove because she writes every day. It's like a habit for her, so she doesn't have to struggle so long with getting the feel for her story or rediscovering her voice. And I think that is my problem. I've been out of practice so long that writing is HARD. It takes me forever to get a steady groove going and then by the time I do, I've lost interest because I'm so frustrated with how WRONG everything sounds.

But today I'm going to start writing like I mean it. If I can dedicate three hours a week to running, I can at least do that for writing, right? So, I'm going to write for at least 30 minutes Monday through Saturday. Hopefully if I start setting aside time to write, my groove will be easier to get into.

I've started a short story that I'm constantly thinking about, so I'll start with that. I would like to submit it to Circlet Press for one of their anthologies, and the deadline is March 15. Maybe if I write for 30 minutes six times a week, I'll get it done, get it edited and get it submitted. It would be nice to feel like a writer again. :)

This Means I'm Officially a Writer! Right?

So I've been fanatically checking Circlet Press's website each and every day every so often to see when the ebook with my story is coming out.

Today was the day! (Or at least the day I found it. Honestly, I get distracted by all the other stuff on the website.)

Presenting Masked Pleasures!

Yours for only $3.99. Bargain, right? Especially since my literary genius is nestled within. The other stories are pretty spectacular, too. So, if you would like some stimulation (har har) then skip on over to Circlet Press and buy a copy.

All the stories within were based on the photo featured on the cover. Pretty cool, right? 

I Eat Monsters for Breakfast

I'm delicious.

Literally.

Have you ever had a Green Monster? I made mine using Oh She Glows recipe. It's awesome. Yes, I know it sounds disgustingly healthy (and it is) but it's pretty dang scrumptious. I used crunchy peanut butter in mine (because that's what I have) but other than that the recipe is the same.

But all this slurping of monsters got me thinking about monsters in writing. I'll admit, creating monsters and villains is one of my favorite pastimes. I let my imagination go wild, oftentimes even illustrating my creations on paper. I had a lot of fun drawing some of the characters in DRAGON QUEEN, for sure.

What's difficult, however, is making a monster that hasn't been done before. One that is familiar enough to be recognized, but unique enough to be original (and fitting to the story).

Take Twilight's vampires for example (yes, I did go there). Vampires have been done and done again. They all have something in common: they drink blood. Variations ensue from there. Some are soulless. Some are evil. Some are ugly (I really liked how Evie in Paranormalcy could see what they really looked like--rotting corpses). Some are beautiful. Some are friendly towards humans (even to the point of spawning half-human half-vamp babies) and some look at humans merely as take-out. But sometimes you have to make a vamp sparkle to make your story sparkle. (Har har.) Admit it, even if you haven't read the books or seen the movies, chances are you've still heard about Meyers' sparkling vampires. Love it, hate it--it's memorable.

Tangent: I just realized that none of the bad vamps are caught "sparkling." Why is that I wonder? Because Ms. Meyers didn't want to connect evil with beautiful? I smell a missed opportunity for some depth there. Okay, yeah, depth wasn't the point of any of the books.

But back to what I was exploring: It's not just monsters that need your extra attention. Villains, too, need to be more than just the epitome of evil. They need to have motivations. They need to have desires. Sometimes, they even need to believe that they are the ones who are good. (Nothing is creepier than a bad guy who thinks he's the hero, truly.)

Because I'm nice (and busy eating monsters) here are some links to articles on how to create villains and what makes a good/bad one. Very cool. Very helpful. Enjoy!

How Not to Create a Villain

Make the Villain the Hero

Cardboard Cutouts Make Rotten Villains (I found this one especially interesting!)

What the H-E-Double Hockey sticks?

It's been a weird past couple months. I haven't seriously written since November. I managed to write about 3,000 words on Last of the Elves since then, but nothing new. Nothing fresh. Everything is sort of stagnating.

Not sure why.

I have been revising Dragon Queen like it's no body's business. It's getting so much stronger. So much richer. I'm starting to believe that it might actually be publishable soon. OMG. Then I just have to find an agent/editor who thinks the same thing.

With all this (successful) revising I shouldn't be so upset that I haven't cranked out anything new recently. But I am. I don't feel like a writer when there's nothing new to spark my interest. To surmount this lackluster obstacle, I tried to write another erotica. It came out stilted and awkward even though I thought my idea behind the story was awesome. I'm trying to pin down what has kept me from writing and I think it's because I'm putting too much pressure on myself. I want to be a great writer. Not just a good one (and god forbid a mediocre one). So I won't just let myself write. Every rough draft has to be stellar, and when it's coming out as less than, well, I give up. Kind of defeats the purpose, right?

I can see myself doing it and yet I can't stop it. Sigh.

I think it's time to break out Write or Die again. I need to just write. Get words down. Not worry if they stink more than cat poo. And a short story sounds like a pretty good idea.

Love is a Rifle

I'm trying to embrace the quirkiness that is my life. Usually, I try to bury my redneck roots under a mountain of books and education and refinement. I enjoy red wine and dark chocolate and intellectual discussions. I also enjoy a cold beer, crass jokes, and walking around barefoot.

I am also a burgeoning romance writer. I've choked on this for a long time. I didn't WANT to be a romance writer. Sure, I like to read romance, but I thought it wasn't "serious" or "literary" enough to be worth the effort. It's "fluff" and I didn't want to write "fluff."

Yet I couldn't stop myself.

The same thing goes for my redneck roots. I try to ignore them as best as I can, but they still break the soil and trip me up. It doesn't help that I married a redneck either who NEVER LETS ME FORGET where I came from.

So, what does this blend of redneck heritage and romance writing have to do with a rifle? Just that when it comes to real love, you can't make this stuff up . . .and it's pretty dang hard to write a romance that rings true.

My darling husband and I had agreed that this V-day was going to be low-key because we're still playing catch-up from all of our wedding expenses. Except yesterday he comes home with a card, two chocolate bars, and a rifle.

Yes, a rifle.

Nothing says "I love you" better, does it?

Nope, mine doesn't look like this. I wish.

Hubby: Look what I got you, darling! Isn't it just beautiful? And you can kill almost EVERYTHING with it. Even an elk! We should go elk hunting. [He strokes the stock like it's a kitten.]

Me: Oh . . .thanks, hun. That was . . .so sweet and thoughtful of you. I've always wanted to kill an elk. [Mutters] Just never realized it until now, I guess. [Takes the gun] Wow, it's . . .heavy. [mutters] And is probably going to knock me on my arse the first time I shoot it. Fun!

The refined, educated, snobby part of me wants to bury the entire gift and the conversation that came with it under a rock and pretend that, instead, he brought me a dozen of roses. Instead, I decided to embrace the gift (and the warped sense of romance that brought it to me) and repay the favor.

So I'm bringing home a bottle of cabernet sauvignon and a dozen roses for my husband. I'm sure he'll love them.

Try writing a romance more realistic than that!