Thankfully, I lost all of my journals in a fire my senior year of high school, so most of that pubescent angst is ash, but I do have a journal from afterward and...I'm sorry, but just reading it brings up some REALLY bad memories and feelings, so I couldn't even bear to look at it for this. Is it embarrassing? Probably, but I don't mind that so much as I mind what it is that prompted all the craziness in it (an abusive relationship). So...yeah. I don't like to revisit that much.
HOWEVER!
I will share one of my first novel attempts with you. I went through this a few months back just for fun and did some editing (no worries, I kept the original garbage), and it was hilarious how much stuff I struck out.
Without further ado, here's bits of Siren's Song in all their raw glory:
It was an untamed land, full of unexplored crevices and exotic phenomenon. The forests grew unhindered, stretching their amber limbs toward the pinnacle of the sky. Emerald and jade leaves flared in their thirsty search for sunlight and the fauna basked in the cool shade the leafy boughs created. A shining river sliced its way through the thick trees, a ribbon of clear blue on a blanket of green velvet. Pearl-gray mountains with saber-sharp peaks ringed the land. Snow shimmered in the folds of rock beneath the questing light of the twin suns.
The suns met in the sky and golden light burst forth, blinding to all who dared to look upon their awe-inspiring beauty. The sunlight floated down, banishing the shadows to the darkest of caverns. It touched each leaf, caressed each sienna limb, and sparkled on the surface of the rushing river. And then the fierce light threw itself upon the unyielding face of a magnificent palace.
This descriptive setting goes on for about four more paragraphs...and then we meet the character, Siren:
Siren stood, stretching her limbs to their fullest measure. She was the tallest female in Silentwind, reaching the height of five feet and nine inches. With her well-formed body, sleek muscles, and scarlet wings, she was also rumored to be the most beautiful. Her face was heart-shaped, with sharp cheek bones, a petite nose, and full lips. Her eyes were rather large, tilted almonds of the purest shade of gold, and framed by thick lashes. They flashed with intelligence. Her hair was long, thick, and striking red. Gold highlights streaked through the lush mane. The generous tresses flowed over her shoulders, down her back, to stop at the curve of her slender waist. But her wings were her most dazzling feature. The feathery limbs were a shade darker than her hair and were richly patterned with bronze and gold. They spanned ten feet, the longest primaries reaching to the middle of her calves.
She lacked the bold paint of womanhood, revealing her unique innocence. Her hair did not have the usual braids favored by her people but thirteen feathers of various colors and sizes were scattered throughout the red curls. A lethal-looking sword rode on her hip. The cold glint hinted at the warrior beneath her softness.
Methinks I loved description. I still do, but I've learned my lesson that sometimes less is more. Also, I've also strayed from "the most beautiful" stereotype. More for your amusement:
Damn her anyway! Blaine cursed silently, slipping through the underbrush. He watched with despair as the heavy canopy once more blocked his quarry from view. He shook his head. He should never have helped her. And he would not have if he had known she was going to steal his precious harp. Blasted vixen! He leapt over a fallen tree, nearly losing his footing on the slick leaves that lurked on the other side. Cursing and puffing, he continued running. Branches swiped at him with tremendous glee. They left their scarlet marks on his hands and cheeks. Rocks reared up in his path; moss and squishy foliage made his trek perilous. But he continued on, his silver eyes trained for a flash of crimson above the trees.
He stumbled into the clearing unexpectedly, blinded by the fierce glare of sunshine. He squinted up at the bare sky. He couldn’t see anything but unyielding blue. Absorbed as he was in his search, he did not notice the two shadows descending on him until it was too late. They crashed into him, pinning him to the ground with embarrassing ease. A spear point tickled his throat.
“And what have we here?” a voice hissed.
“A spy,” another one answered.
“A slimy Walker,” more spat, and snickers passed through the assembled attackers. The curses fell upon Blaine’s prone form like venomous clouds of doom.
“Shall we kill him?” a youth asked, peering down at the minstrel with disgusted interest on his handsome face. His amber eyes shone with curious dislike.
The tall spear-wielder grinned malevolently. His white wings swallowed the sky. “Of course we shall. All Walkers that come into this clearing are sentenced to die,” he declared. His companions smiled grimly. He gently increased the pressure on Blaine’s neck. Blood welled in ruby drops.
“Lightning Moon!” the sharp voice brought the sky-dweller’s head up immediately.
“Your Highness!” he said in surprise.
She broke through the dumbfounded ranks of Lendai. They parted for her. And though she limped, her regal bearing and imperious command left them all humble. She hobbled up to Lightning Moon and jerked the spear from his grasp.
“What are you doing?’ he growled, his amber eyes flashed at her.
Siren glared at him, “This Walker saved me from certain death. If not for him, I would be at the Walkers’ mercy right now.”
“Why?” he demanded, “What happened?” He grabbed her arms, noticing her leg for the first time, “You are wounded.”
She shrugged his hands away. “Bring the Walker to Silentwind, Lightning Moon. See that he is not mistreated.” She glared pointedly at him.
He lowered his voice confidentially, “He is a Walker. You cannot trust him.”
She tossed her head, her eyes glowed angrily at his blunt statement. “This has nothing to do with trust,” she snarled, “and everything to do with honor.” She shoved the spear into the soft ground. “Now bring him to the palace.” She snapped her wings and soared into the sky. Two Lendai followed her.
Melodramatic much? The sad thing is...I'm still a bit like this. I tend to be poetic and all that jazz...Just not as bad, I hope.
I hope you enjoyed it! Lol. And don't forget to pick up some banned books this week! I'm personally seeking out Maya Angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, again. I read it in high school and remember it was just amazing!
