It's the greatest love story of all time.
Nope, I'm not talking about Twilight. (Not yet, anyway.) I'm talking about Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. You know, in modern day publishing presses, R&J could be considered a YA in some aspects. After all, the main characters are 13-14. (I hope you knew that.) It's got all the angst and OMG-no-one-understands-us element. As well as the idea that LOVE is the most important thing in the entire universe. So, important, in fact, that it's worth stabbing yourself in the chest over.
I watched the modern day remake of Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes last night with my fiance. Back in the days of my youth (as in, high school) it was one of my favorite movies. (OMG, so romantic, right?) Last night it just pissed me off to the point where I turned to Fiance and said, "If you kill yourself because I die, I will go to hell and kick your A$$!" To which he replied with something very sweet and mollifying, "Darling, if you died I wouldn't kill myself, but I would feel pretty damn dead inside." (Romance as only a country boy can provide. P.S. I love it when he calls me darling.) Aw. Kissy kiss.
Now, I love romance as much as the next gal (devouring books by Teresa Medeiros like it's nobody's business), but it comes to a certain point where romance morphs into obsession/insanity. And I just can't tolerate that. True love exists. Soul mates exist. But true love isn't about sacrificing everything (including your life... hello, R&J; hello, Bella) for it to work. It's about compromise. It's above give and take. And, to top it off, it's about realistic expectations of yourself and the other person. So, really, the whole reason R&J ticks me off is because everything could be avoided by approaching love with maturity. Talking to the 'rents, for one. Juliet could have just let her father disown her and cast her into the streets like he threatened instead of devising this whole "fake death plan." (Which, really, would the end have been any different? She would have never spoken to her parents again.) I'm sure Romeo would haven't just left her begging on the streets, for crying out loud. And was it love or obsession that drove them to commit suicide? Romeo at the beginning of the play/movie was "in love" with Rosalind. And then he sees Juliet and BAM! Love at first sight! I don't think it was his heart that was reacting to Juliet, but another "part belonging to a man."
R&J and, yes, Twilight, give teens an unrealistic expectation of love. And sometimes I wonder if crap like this is the reason 50% of marriages fail nowadays. The moment one or the other starts thinking, OMG they totally wouldn't kill themselves/turn into a vampire for me, it's over. Love can be crazy and it can be thrilling, but lasting love isn't about the adrenaline rush of forsaking everything else for another person; it's about knowing that there will be times when you will be mad at each other, when you will wish that other person wasn't breathing down your neck all the time, when you get sick of their annoying habits...and you wouldn't want it any other way.
My prediction: If R & J hadn't done themselves in, they would have been divorced within a year. And Bella and Edward? It's going to be one freakin' long eternity (not in a good way).
Great post! And I totally agree.
ReplyDeleteI don't get the whole "all or nothing" nonsense that is Twilight. What gets me even more, though, is that there was never a sacrifice made! Books 1-3 set up the premise that "if" Bella became a vampire "then" she'd have to sacrifice her family and life as she knew it. But when she turned, she still got all the benefits of her family. Where's the sacrifice, darn it? Okay, maybe I'm a little of a Twilight-hater. Just seemed farfetched...glad to know I'm not the only one who sees it for what it is--overdramatic and unrealistic of what love realy is.
Look at Meyer's back story. She's a sexually repressed Morman living vicariously through her fantasy characters. You're absolutely right that the relationship she creates is unrealistic and that's exactly why it sells so well. One of my short story is exactly about this romantic influence that entertainment has on our expectations for relationships.
ReplyDeleteAs for Romeo and Juliet, I think that the drama and sexual intrigue in the play are misinterpreted by teenage girls really often. They recognize the romance, the tension, the sacrifice and completely miss out on the fact that this play is a tragedy because of the tragic flaws of the protagonists.
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ReplyDeleteI don't think you're jaded. I think you've developed a mature perspective. The romance genre has a difficult time showing how love can function after climax. That's something we've got to figure out on our own.
Amen! Twilight works because it's pure fantasy: girls wish they could be in relationships with a guy who unfailingly cherishes them day in, day out, and has zero quibbles. They love the idea of not having to work at it to keep the love alive. And Romeo and Juliet is just silly. A great story, but silly.
ReplyDeleteCan't stand Twilight.
ReplyDeleteHate it (not for the romance part, but for what it's done to how a whole generation perceives vampires).
Love Romeo and Juliet (c'mon, I was an English Lit and theater major). Yeah, it's unrealistic, but it's a tragedy. It'd be boring if it were realistic.
Sounds like you've got a good perspective of what love really is and how it's supposed to work.