Why Am I Doing This?: A Twix Analogy

Just a few minutes ago, I ate a Twix bar. Sounds, yummy, right? And it was supposed to be. But the caramel was all...chewy and crunchy at the same time. I should have stopped with the first bite, but I kept eating, thinking, "It's going to get better." It didn't. I finished the first bar and contemplated the second one. I was like, "Ah, what the heck, it can't be any worse, right?" Wrong. It was worse. It was like chewing caramel flavored rubber. The sad thing: I still ate it. All. Of. It.

"Why?" I asked myself even I was still chewing. "It's not tasty. You certainly aren't deriving any satisfaction out of it, and you really don't need the empty calories." And still, I ate it.

In a way, me eating that Twix is a bit like me revising a novel. I don't enjoy it. It often gives me a headache and sometimes it feels like a huge waste of time. And yet, I still revise and revise again.

You know what I did today? I rewrote the first chapter of FURY.

I KNOW. It surprised the heck outta me, too. Even as I was writing it, I was asking myself, "Why am I doing this? I'm supposed to be finished with this. On the shelf. Done." And, still, I wrote.

You know what the most amazing part of it was? I was actually excited. It was as if something finally clicked, and I finally took one of my Writer's Digest forumite's suggestions. (Thanks, hematite!) And I was thrilled because FURY was finally beginning to shape up. FINALLY.

It's a strange thing to trudge through something knowing that you probably should just leave it alone, but unable to do so. I'm just glad that, in the end, FURY will be more satisfying than that Twix.