Dude, what's with the 'tude?

So, I think I'm sick, but I'm not really sure. My eye keeps doing this random twinging/stinging/watering thing and my head hurts. Not a good sign. But I'm still functioning and if I keep myself distracted I feel OK, so...here's me keeping myself distracted.

I've had an attitude lately. Which is weird for me. I'm usually a pretty passive person. If I can make someone else happy at my own expense, that's fine by me. And when people give me their opinion regarding anything, I take it to heart.

Not lately.

Lately I've been all like, "Get outta my face!" And, "Nah Nah Nah. Not listening."

And, to be honest, I kind of like it.

When I first started writing, I didn't show ANYONE. No one. Not even my best friend. And never ever my mom. The first time I ever submitted a piece of fiction was for my creative writing class in college. And if it hadn't been a part of the grade I don't think I would have ever submitted anything. I would have happily sat by and critiqued other people's works and left mine to gather dust. Which is why, of course, I wanted to be an editor. (I still kind of do, but I'd rather be a writer now.)

So, I submitted... whatever it was. (Sad that I can't even remember, eh?) And most people liked it. My professor said that I had a natural "voice" and, of course, I beamed and started scribbling more. I was addicted to sharing, addicted to feedback (OK, I still am), but I did it all wrong without even realizing it. I was in it for the adulation, of course, but when I received a negative critique all my confidence in my writing would go plummeting. I would mope and shove stories into their dark nests. Only after the hurt had passed would I pull it back out. (Yes, I KNOW I'm too sensitive.)

But then my skin got thicker. Critiques, even those that practically screamed, "YOU SUCK" on them, were taken into account and suggestions were noted. But I still had a bad habit of trying to make everybody happy. I would stress and strain over ONE LITTLE PARAGRAPH for hours trying to make it fit into everyone's mold.

And then...

Something changed.

I'm not sure what, even. But now, I have this attitude where if I don't like what the critter is suggesting, I ignore it. (Gasp!) Sometimes, I've ignored whole critiques because I realized that these people "just don't get it." And it's not my fault or their fault, it's just a lack of a meeting of the minds. My story wasn't written for these people, so of course they're not going to get it! And I can never make my story be what everyone wants. I've finally accepted that.

It only took me... six years.

Wow, sad.

But I'm glad that I've reached this point. Now, I can just go with my instinct and take or leave critiques. Take the ones that steer me in the right direction and ignore the ones that don't. It's so liberating.

Here's hoping that you develop  your own 'tude!