So, I have a secret. Erm, well, maybe not. But it's not something I usually talk about.
I have a novel--my very first novel--three-fourths completed. I abandoned this project a long time ago because, well, it reads a lot like erotica. Which isn't really the genre I want to break into. And, honestly, I was 17 when I wrote it and the thought of it ever being published and finding its way into my parents' hands mortified me. (After all, I wasn't supposed to know that much about sex back then, mmkay?)
But I never threw it away. I'm a pack rat with my stories. Even if I've permanently shelved them, I still keep them around. You never know when they'll come in handy--either to relieve boredom or to inspire a new idea. So, I pulled up SIREN'S SONG today and I was simultaneously appalled and intrigued. My writing was heavily flawed (refer to the POV dilemma ) and I did a lot of telling (and then there was the whole lotta sex factor), but overall, the story idea was good. The characters appealed to me again, just not in the same way. And I thought: Hmm. Maybe this story has potential after all.
For a reason only writer's can relate to, that gave me hope for my current projects. Right now, I look at FURY with the same sort of hopelessness that I once looked at SIREN'S SONG. Actually, FURY doesn't even come close. I have more faith in FURY than I ever did in SIREN, which was more of a guilty (and I mean guilty) pleasure.
This realization was good for me, because I just about gave up everything yesterday, I was so disheartened. I submitted two short stories to e-zines not in the hope that they would be published, but because I wanted a confirmation that I really sucked. Now, of course, I'm not looking at it that way. I'm being optimistic. I have faith in my writing again. Because it's good, and it has definitely improved over time. And with that improvement evident, I can't just give up. Not when I'll keep getting better.
With this positive reinforcement, I went back to revising the chapters in FURY (I still wasn't happy with the revisions I'd made on the advice of my beta reader) and they finally clicked. I wrote and deleted and wrote some more. And, OMG, I think I've actually, finally made Caden's plight sympathetic. You have no freaking idea how hard that's been or how long I've struggled with that. And what's better? I did it without having him come across as pathetic or weak. So, double bonus!
Back to writing now!
I think looking at old writing can be very good inspiration! I'm glad you think you have a place to take this old story, but I'm also glad you have more faith in FURY because I love that story! I like to keep as much of my old writing, too, even if some of it I don't think I will ever do anything with again. I am trying not to laugh in the middle of work about you submitting stories just to confirm you suck! You don't!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kim. I'm glad I'm not the only one who hangs on to old stories. I even have the stories I wrote for my creative writing classes hanging around. I found an imitation of Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian that I'd done for a fiction class, and I was actually impressed. It's nice to go back to something you haven't seen in a while and look at it with fresh eyes. :)
ReplyDeleteI keep forgetting to wait for the prompt so that they know I'm not a spammer! I keep old assignments, too, especially the ones where I really had fun with it. Some of those are good inspiration for my dry spells.
ReplyDeleteSome of my old stories make me laugh, not because they were funny, but because the writing was so lame. I have come a long way.
ReplyDeleteYou have, too, just from what I've seen on the forum. I look forward to having your novels in my hands to review on my blog. Good stuff. Keep your spirits high, and don't give up. I can't wait to read the changes you've made on Caden!