My main focus right now is Dragon Queen. I am currently writing Chapter 17, which involves a rather large action scene. I've got about 2K words describing a bloody conflict, but I'm only happy with about a fourth of it. And as I wrote, I was thinking: Maybe I'm just not cut out to write battle scenes. But then I think about Fury. There is a nice struggle at the end between Yalei and Fury, and I'm pretty happy with the way that turned out. It's dark and intense. But the main difference between the battle in that scene and in Dragon Queen is the old internal vs. external. Fury prevails through her mind and heart. The scene in Dragon Queen is a bunch of dragons chomping and clawing at each other. A lot different. And a lot harder to write. I think I'm going to have to pick up Christopher Paolini's books again and get a little bit of reference.
Right now, I'm slogging through it. I had to resist the urge to go back and edit it yesterday. Because it's not even finished yet. I kept repeating: Finish it first, then edit. Just get it down.
This struggle to write physical conflict has revealed to me something about my writing: I am more concerned with internal conflicts. I like it when a character has to wrestle with their flaws rather than grapple with an opponent. While there is a little bit of that in Dragon Queen, there should be more physical trials. Why? Well, because that's the point. It's a war. There needs to be bloodshed and gore and things getting parts of their body chopped off. Jade can't just sit there and muse about how awful it is and shouldn't she do something. That would be a major turn off.
It is also difficult, I am finding, to write a battle scene from the 1st person POV. I can only write about what she notices, which means that a lot of the action is not getting wrote down. And some of that out-of-sight action is important. Where I'm floundering at right now is where Jade is finally kicking some butt, but Tyar is also fighting with Darion in the background. Not sure how to make the reader aware of Tyar's struggle while not seeming to go out of POV. Something else to mull over.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAs you are, I am critical of my writing, and I am evolving constantly in my ideas. I posted the above comment, came up with more ideas, so I had to delete it and post the full version. LOL.
ReplyDeleteYou’re approaching or at the wall most writers run into when describing a battle scene, whether it is old age fantasy sword and shield or modern warfare with guns and artillery. You have chosen to write in a FPA (First Person Action) or POV writing style.
The problem with this as you have realized is keeping it detailed and providing enough variety that the reader does not become bored. There are several different ways to accomplish this depending on your plot or environmental devices.
If you are going true FPA, in which the Point of Observation stays behind the main characters eyes, then you will have to rely on her other senses to track, or record the battle. Hearing is a good sense to choose, as you can provide so much detail from the crashing of sword on shield, the scrap of metal on metal from parries, and the grunts and yells of battle. This is the most recommended. This would also provide moments when Jade may be distracted by Tyar's battle affecting her duel allowing her to be pressured, causing the reader more concern for her and becoming more focused into the fight, drawing the focus off of Tyar. Thus the reader is not as aware they are missing some action.
Also, include things such as temporary separation. A pillar falls or a brazier gets knocked over spreading flames blocking Line of Sight on Tyar. Sight at this point, is not an issue, because she cannot see him. Once again, this removes him from the readers mind eye as well putting the focus on Jade's battle.
You can also orient Jade so her enemies back is to the duel between Tyar and Darion. Even though she is concentrating on her fight at hand, she will catch a glimpse or snatch of the other duel.
I also do not know if Jade has any type of romance for Tyar, but this could be a good place to show some concern and perhaps give him a lofty assist once in a while and vise versa to her. This would also keep Tyar as part of the action as well because he would be involved with the occasional parry or feint. Kind of a dance of lovers, fighting for their lives and each others.
Another way to involve Tyar more is for one or more of the enemies to be killed and they both focus on one. This is probably the least recommended, as when one character or the other of a book dies, its wasted work. They deserve to die sometimes, yes, but if you do it at the right point, it enhances the book, rather than you losing all of that creative character development and ability to thicken plot devices by their interjections or appearances.
These are the only assists I can think of if you are keeping it truly behind Jade's eyes. We don't have to see Tyar's every swing and blow, just the ones that add character to him or his enemy. And with Jade, all physical battles are emotional as well. Fear being a big one. Fear of death, fear for her friends, anger at her enemy, and understanding of his tactics. I'm sure you can spin it all to fit just right.
So here is some ideas for you to use or combine in creative usefulness, I am sure you have thought of all of this, but one offers what one can. Good Luck.