Silencing the Superfluous Voices in My Head

But keeping the good ones.

Clicking on some of my previous blogs, I realized that I used to be helpful. I used to be "in the know" about writing and publishing and querying and all that inky stuff. So why did I stop?

Simple: Too many voices in my head.

I'm a people-pleaser. I also am an idea-monger. Those two traits do not help with writing. And I found myself, more often than not, struggling with conflicting advice rather than just trusting my gut.

I'll admit, I've also been going through enormous bouts of self-doubt again and moments of "why am I doing this again?" but I've really tried to keep them private. I got tired of having pity parties, for one, and then I just felt like a wimp. In fact, I went through moments where I thought, "Maybe I'm not ready for this whole writing career pursual." So, I took a step back.

It bothers me (quite a bit actually) that I'm no longer providing insightful, helpful information to the readers of my blog, but I'd rather be silent than sound like a phony. I have no authority in the matter, really. I'm just like (the majority of) you. A scribbler struggling to be a writer. But even as I read blog after blog (and still read a lot of blogs, mind), it took me a long while to realize that the most important thing to being a writer was something I was sacrificing so I could fit the mold of what everyone else wanted: my voice. I was so concerned about perfecting my technique, that I came to struggle with what is honestly the most important thing when it comes to writing: voice. Style. What makes your story different from the hundreds that came before it.

The sad thing is, before I had all these "expert" voices clamoring in my head for attention, I had a pretty good grasp on my voice. It's flowery and sometimes dark, sprinkled with humor and elaborate descriptions. It can be serious or light-hearted. It's almost always romantic. And of all the things that I know about writing (having a bachelor's degree in creative writing, I should know a little bit) it's that it doesn't really matter if your spelling is atrocious, your colons should be semi-colons, and you occasionally use one too many adverbs as long as you have an established and engaging VOICE.

Take my story The Dragon Queen for example. When I started it, I got a lot of flack for my main character, Jade, being "cliche". I worried and fretted about this for so long, that I couldn't even revise the story. I kept getting dragged down into the worry that she wasn't good enough. But then I realized there are reasons for cliches: because they're good. Yes, you see a lot of rebellious princesses, and, sure, if that's all there was to Jade, I could see it being a real issue. But it isn't. Why? Because of Jade's voice. Through her voice (or mine, whichever) the reader eventually reaches the conclusion that just because Jade is cast as a stereotypical, rebellious princess, doesn't mean that's all there is to her. And soon those same readers who had issues with her being a stereotype, ended up reneging their words soon after.

So, while I've learned to trust myself a bit more, I'm still refraining from dipping into the writer world of shoulds and shouldn'ts. Now, I'm trusting in my own abilities and the advice of a few helpful critters, and I'm a stronger writer because of it.

A Quarter of a Century

It's official. I am now a quarter of a century old.

Woohoo! Right?

Pffbt. I don't feel like 25. Most of the time, I still feel like I'm 19, struggling with "finding myself" and grasping at dreams. And that's okay. Especially if it means that I keep getting carded for things like buying knife sets (I am not joking).

I honestly thought that by 25 I would be set. I would be married (check), be paying on my own home (nope), have a kid or two (do dogs count?) and be well-established in my career (haha). Funny how life isn't predictable and doesn't follow a schedule. While there have been some things I've managed to keep to the plan (getting married AFTER college, having kids AFTER landing a career (so far at least)), mostly I've been all over the place.

First of all, whoever thought I would be going back to school to be a teacher? Not me. But here I am. Taking classes. Trying not to think about the enormous debts I'm going to accrue or how completely exhausted I am going to be. And once I get my schooling out of the way and start teaching, the husband is going to go to school for . . . something. He hasn't decided yet.

My husband is a little like me in that he wants to do EVERYTHING. He wants to learn about EVERYTHING. We're like kindergartners, changing our minds every three seconds about what we want to be when we grow up. But I've finally buckled down and decided to be a teacher. No worries, I'm still writing. In fact, I've been writing and revising like crazy. I just haven't been talking about it much. Not sure why.

So, the new goal is to be a secondary English teacher and writer. That's what I'm going to be when I grow up. Or get older I guess. I've heard it's all downhill from 25. (Lol.)

One thing is for certain: I AM slowly becoming my mother. I used to loathe gardening, taking care of animals (I liked animals, just didn't like cleaning up their poop), and Martha Stewart-esque household chores. Now, I have a garden that I spend a LOT of my time in (and enjoy it, which is the weird thing). I want to have livestock so badly, but can't. Grr. And this past weekend I made pickles. Yep, I canned. All by myself. (And they are delicious!)

I'm looking forward to the next 25 years. We'll see how the plans go for them.

Monday Madness: A Little Sugar with My Vinegar

I can be a pretty ruthless critter. Yes, me. It's like my Darkside. I find much pleasure in taking someone's story and ripping it to shreds.

Most of the time I remember to be nice about it. (At least, I think I am. I've yet to receive any death threats.)

But I HAVE scared a few people off. Some people can't handle the steady dose of vinegar I pour over their manuscripts, and they usually run for cover when I come critting. But here's a little sugar for my vinegar: I'm mean to you so I can be mean to me.

For example, I can't dissect your character's motivations without first making sure mine are pretty dang clear. I can't complain about your lifeless dialogue if mine is so dead it's starting to smell. Also, when I'm critting, I find mistakes in my writing by looking at yours. If your MC's whining drives me crazy, there's a good chance my MC's whining will drive someone else crazy. So, snip, snip.

Critting makes me excited to be a writer. I like to contribute, to make a difference, and to help my fellow writers dish out the best stories they possibly can. If it means I have to be a little sour rather than sweet, well, okay then. And give it right back to me.

And I love my critters. Those who can stand me usually give as good as they get. Maybe this makes me wacky, but I honestly get MORE motivation after receiving a critique. Even if it's ripping my story to shreds. Even if it's telling me I suck. As long as they point out how I can fix it, then I'm game.

What about you? Do you prefer sugar or vinegar with your critique?

Book Review: No Mercy

No Mercy by Sherrilyn Kenyon was one of those spur of the moment buys. I'd read a book or two by Sherrilyn Kenyon a while back, vaguely remembered liking them, the blurb sounded interesting, and I needed something to keep me from going crazy on our weekend camping trip.


According to the blurb:

Live fast, fight hard and, if you have to die, then take as many of your enemies with you as you can. That is the Amazon credo and it was one Samia lived and died by. Now in contemporary New Orleans, the immortal Amazon warrior is about to learn that there’s a worse evil coming to slaughter mankind than she’s ever faced before. 

Shapeshifter Dev Peltier has stood guard at the front of Sanctuary for almost two hundred years and in that time, he’s seen it all. Or so he thought. Now their enemies have discovered a new source of power--one that makes a mockery of anything faced to date. 

The war is on and Dev and Sam are guarding ground zero. But in order to win, they will have to break the most cardinal of all rules and pray it doesn’t unravel the universe as we know it.

Let's start off with the fact that I liked this book. I liked the characters (who were funny and spunky) and the context was definitely interesting. I'm a pretty hard sell when it comes to paranormal romances anymore, but I still found myself enjoying Kenyon's mix of Greek mythology and modern-day paranormals. Demons, Daimons, Dark-Hunters, Were-Hunters, and more! I enjoyed the book, even if I snickered a little bit on just how boy crazy the writing seemed (if you want descriptions of rock-hard, drool-worthy bodies, then Kenyon is a good bet for you), but since it was a romance, I let it go. 

However, I had my nitpicks: EVERYONE is beautiful. I seriously hate that. And they weren't even beautiful in their own unique way. They were just lovely and lust-inducing. Yes, I get that they're "not human" but does every stinking nonhuman have to be drop-dead gorgeous? (The only exception were minor-minor characters.) And the ending. I would have been more than happy if Ms. Kenyon did without the epilogue. The epilogue took a sweet, emotional ending and turned it into disgustingly-sweet-OMG-seriously?-overkill. Yes, I wanted Sam and Dev to have their happy ending, but I'm also of the mindset that it's OKAY for that ending to be imperfect. 

(WARNING: I am going to totally ruin the book for anyone who hasn't read it.) 

So, Dev and Sam couldn't have babies because she's technically dead, and she was still in danger of having Artemis come kick her ass, but that was cool with me. And then Nick delivers Sam's soul (no clue as to how he gets that from Artemis . . .must have to do with him sleeping with her) and what's-his-face (S-something; he only appears in the book twice, so it's easy to forget) comes in with some BS excuse that he hates the Fates so he's going to make it where Sam can get pregnant just to piss them off. Baby-making ability does not equal happily-ever-after-perfect romance. Or maybe it does. But it seriously made me want to rip those pages out. Do I have anything against the desire for a lovey-dovey couple to procreate? Not at all. But I DO have a grudge against dues ex machina. And that's what brought this book from a four star to a three star review.

Book Review: Blackveil

So, I'm behind. Sue me.

Actually don't. It would be a waste of your time. The only thing you'd win would be my car, and you don't want it. Seriously.

I did actually read a book a while back. Not sure how far back. Maybe a month ago? I've been BUSY. (I've also been wondering if a text book counts towards Goodreads reading challenge, since that's the only thing I've had time to read.) But anyway, a while back I read Blackveil by Kristen Britain.

First off, let me say that Kristen Britain is one of my "I will buy anything she writes" kind of authors. (Anne Bishop is the other one.) So I pre-ordered Blackveil and did a little happy dance when it arrived. Then it sat on my coffee table for, like, two months.

This is probably due to the fact that Blackveil is HUGE. It's over 600 pages. That's a big commitment. But I finally buckled down and read it. According to the book's blurb:

Once a simple student, Karigan G'ladheon finds herself in a world of deadly danger and complex magic, compelled by forces she cannot understand when she becomes a legendary Green Rider -- one of the magical messengers of the king. Forced by magic to accept a dangerous fate she would never have chosen, headstrong Karigan has become completely devoted to the king and her fellow Riders.

But now, an insurrection led by dark magicians threatens to break the boundaries of ancient, evil Blackveil Forest -- releasing powerful dark magics that have been shut away for a millennium.

This is the fourth book in the series (did I mention that?) and I had high hopes that it would be the final one (especially since it was so big). But there is a reason it is so big: it's three to four different stories meshed into one book. This book is not wholly about Karigan. In fact, I felt that she was overlooked for a lot of the book. Alton D'Yer, Lord Amberhill, Grandmother, Queen Estora and Captain Mapstone seemed to have far more adventures and significance in this story than Karigan does...until about the last fourth of the book. Then it mainly focuses on Karigan's adventures in Blackveil (which were fascinating and well-done, but felt a little too late). This book read more like a few different books mashed into one. I would have actually preferred to read several different books, each one focusing on one character, than the head-hopping that took place in this story.

And OF COURSE there is a cliff hanger. Which always makes me grind my teeth (especially since Ms. Britain takes a long time to write her books (like 2 or 3 years)).

Now, all of that sounds like I didn't like the book. I did. Blackveil was fascinating and I could see how Ms. Britain thought the head-hopping was necessary so that we could understand the significance of what was going on, I just hated that it sacrificed a meaningful connection with any one character.

Ms. Britain is an excellent storyteller, in my opinion. Her worlds are rich and magical and her characters are well-developed. (And only she could make hummingbirds FREAK YOU OUT.) I just think this book would have been stronger if it had been divided into two or three books so that each character could have more time in the spotlight.

Recommended: Yes, especially for fantasy buffs and lovers of epic quests.
Rating: Four out of five stars.

Monday Madness: Water-Friendly Writing Tools

Most of my best story ideas come when I'm wet.

Okay, that sounded wrong.

Ahem. Rephrase: I get a lot of great story ideas when I'm doing mindless things like washing dishes or taking a shower. The variable that these mindless activities have in common is water. Water and writing do not go together. Soggy paper is not easy to write on. Ink runs. Computers fry. And taking the time to dry off wastes precious inspiration.

Which leaves me to believe that someone (i.e. someone who knows things about science and technology and inventions and stuff (not me)) should create a writer-friendly waterproof tool for recording ideas while otherwise soaked.

Think of the possibilities!

Mid-water gun fight, you discover the EXACT move you needed for your MC to sniper Bad Guy. Waterproof writer tool to the rescue! ('Cause you know your six-year-old cousin isn't going to stop squirting you just because you have a piece of paper in your hand.)

Your nightly shower serenade results in the perfect scene in chapter two, part three of your spy novel. And your husband stole your towel again. No worries! Just grab your waterproof iPad and type out a few sentences.

Inspiration strikes for overcoming obstacle No. 713 in WIP, but you're covered in water and flea shampoo and in the middle of giving your dog a bath. Waterproof writing tool to the rescue!

Seriously, someone needs to get working on this.

(Oh, there ARE bath paints and crayons, but they are WASHABLE, so what's the point?)

That Cobwebby Feeling

My brain feels like it's full of cobwebs every time I sit down to write or edit lately. I hate that feeling, and I think I might have come down with a serious case of writer's block.

But here's the weird thing: I WANT to write. I have all these AWESOME ideas that keep popping into my head, practically begging me to write them, but I just . . .can't. Every time I sit down at the keyboard, I go blank. I thought maybe it was the keyboard's fault so I tried doing it the old fashioned way with a pen and paper. It sort of helped and then . . .meh.

I've been continually searching for a way to undo this cobwebby feeling, but haven't come across it yet. If you have any suggestions, feel free to share.

On a different note, I am looking for a couple people to read and review Masked Pleasures. All four stories. Including mine, "The Seer's Mask." If you're interested, please e-mail me and I will send you a free (FREE) reviewer's copy. The only stipulation is that you have to review it in a public way, preferably on Goodreads but a blog would work too. Also, just an FYI, but these are erotic stories (which means s.e.x.), so if you're--ahem--conservative, these might not be your thing.

E-mail me at bguthrie17ATyahooDOTcom.