Monday Madness: Honest Crit

Good Monday, everyone! I'm going to have a "Monday Madness" feature every Monday starting this week, featuring things that I have learned/hope to learn about the writing world. This will include every stage of writing, from the sentence to submission. I don't pretend to be an expert on anything, but I hope my insights will help some of my fellow writers out.

And, now, to the first installment of Monday Madness: Honest Crit!

In one of my critique groups, there is a tit-for-tat policy. So much so, in fact, that it even highlights people's stories who have critted yours. Pretty neat if you're like me and like to return favors, but not so much if you're (also like me) and a bit limited on time.

I believe in honesty. Not the cruel "haha, you're writing sucks" kind but in the kind that is constructive and well-placed. But sometimes I will come across a work that demands not so much my input on the story itself, but on how the story is delivered, i.e, technique.

I believe that everyone has a story in them, but not everyone has the ability to tell it. What is ability? Sound grammar, correct spelling, and varied sentence structure, in my opinion. When I come across a story that does not have these things, I get a bit exasperated. Even if the story itself is intriguing, I'm so distracted by its delivery that I can't enjoy it. And then the grammar monster comes out flashing its red quill of death and I start telling them everything that they need to fix before I could read this story for the story itself. I've even gone so far as to rewrite a sentence to show them what I mean (which, I will admit, is pretty pathetic of me). And, in case you're wondering, I don't do this to show my superiority or whatever, I do it because I honestly want to help the writer improve.

But correcting grammar and syntax shouldn't be a critter's job. AT ALL. Now, nobody is perfect. Occasionally there will be errors that slip under our editor-radar, but the majority of the work that you have submitted for critique should be free from error. WHY? Because if you're serious about writing, you need to have the technique down. I think of every submission for critique as a professional piece of writing, even those that I want just an opinion on. So I try to make it as legible and readable as possible, because I DON'T want people to be hung up on my technical errors. I want them to focus on the story.

Critters are not grammar teachers (though I sometimes forget that). They are there to offer their opinion on your STORY. So do them a favor and make sure it's as polished as possible. Not only will your critique group thank you for it, but you will also receive the feedback you're REALLY looking for.  

This is Me.

Brain. Hurting.

Temples. Throbbing.

Ow.

So, I think I'm sick (in the head, wait, no really) because I've had a headache off and on all week and I RARELY get headaches. But I'm not sure what is wrong with me or if it is all in my head.

Har. Har.

(Apparently I also find things humorous that are not THAT humorous.)

My stress level probably doesn't help. Did you know that stress makes you OLD? It literally eats away at the collagen and causes wrinkles. I blame it for my cellulite. But, seriously, I need like a million more of me so I can get some stuff done. There need to be more hours in the day, people! Because I need to clean house, make centerpieces, mail invitations, lose weight, schedule dress alterations, go shopping, buy stuff, read books, write books, paint, draw, sing, dance, clean my Mom's house, save the world, rescue a burning baby, buy shoes, kiss my fiance, spend time with friends, go to graduate school, get published, snag an agent, and, oh yeah, make the planet a better place.

That is seriously how my mind works. If I'm not accomplishing something then I feel like a LOSER. And when I don't feel good already, my loserishness increases. And then I feel like I can't do anything so I might as well curl under the blankets and never emerge again. (I so wish.)

I is smart. 

I miss college because I felt like I was actually using my brain on a day to day basis. Sometimes, I even amazed myself with the BS--ahem--genius I came up with. Now, I feel stupid. Bleh. I need to go do some algebra or something. Or sudoku. Me likey sudoku.

But, want to see something cool? Here's my wedding invitation, created by my MOH, Tiffany (yes, she is super-talented and, no, you can't have her):

Pretty, eh? (No prank calling my Momma please.) Tiffany has mad skillz with Photoshop. Actually anything artistic or crafty, she can do. She also has three kids. Superwoman. 

Well, I'm going to go put my head in a freezer...hopefully my brain will go numb for a while. 

Have a great weekend!

Boredom + Laziness = Cool Site!

I'm pretty uninspired today. I wrote a little bit on ELVES but I'm just...bleh. Too tired, I think. I just want to go home and sleep.

But!

I found a really neat website today through Stumble Upon. (Have you ever used Stumble Upon? It's awesome, really!) I was mainly seeking inspiration for a new story idea. Short story, that is. I would like to get some more of my stuff out there. Instead, I found this!

Now, I'm a bit of a rut reader (as I like to call it). When I find an author I like, I'll go out and read all their books until I'm anxiously awaiting the next release. But this website helps you find (supposedly) authors with similar styles/content. You can even just use a single book as a comparison. Awesome, no?

I've already formed a list of new authors to check out. Hehe. Payday can't get here soon enough. :)

Reading, Writing and Disappointing Characters

Did everyone have a wonderful weekend? Like mine, was it just too short? Did you get a lot of things accomplished? I did! And I'm happy to say that my stress level has gone down from the red zone to the yellow. So that's good.

First news: My car is fixed! Yay! I have a working air conditioner and my car is no longer overheating. So happy! And it only cost me a boat. Yay!

Second news: Did some more work over at my mother's house. We tore down the rest of the porch and hauled it to the shop. Out of sight. Out of mind.

Third news: I went to two birthday parties this weekend. One for my second cousin (who turned one) and one for Jake's nephew, who turned nine. Fun stuff. I didn't eat nearly as much cake as I REALLY wanted to, but I'm proud of myself for resisting.

Fourth news: I've been reading again! (I haven't picked up a book in probably a couple months.) It was a bit hard to read because, I've noticed, Jake starts getting all "pay attention to ME" when I read for more than 30 minutes. I've been reading Empress by Karen Miller. It was one of those books that I found while perusing the shelves at B&N. The cover intrigued me, as did the excerpt and, finally, the first chapter.

This book is...dark. Brutal. Graphic. Let's just get that out right away. It opens with a nameless child watching her mother, whom she refers to as "the woman" get beaten and then raped right in front of her. And then the child is sold into slavery. The book gets a little more optimistic from there since Hekat, the child, looks upon her slavery as an improvement. Her new owner refers to her as "beautiful and precious" rather than "she-brat." She is treated like a pampered pet and, since the story is told so closely from her POV, the reader starts believing things might indeed go well for her. That is...if it wasn't for the 600 or more pages to go.

Needless to say, things don't go well for her. When she discovers that she is "just another slave" and will be sold as a concubine, she escapes to the warriors' barracks. She mutilates her face so that no one will ever again place value on her for her beauty alone. She catches the warlord's eye. She becomes a fierce warrior.

So far, so good, in my mind. But then...meh.

I like Hekat. She's vicious and confident and a little too full of herself despite her crude upbringing. But then she gives herself to "the god" and the story shifts from being about her to being about the god, even if its indirectly. Everything Hekat does is for the god. Everything, including mating the warlord, sleeping with a godspeaker (basically a priest) to make a baby and raising her son. EVERYTHING.

And in this process, we lose the character of Hekat. She becomes just another zealous vessel. She's not torn or conflicted about her choices, she just does what she is commanded. She doesn't even seem like a person anymore. She has no other motivation besides serving the god. And, honestly, that gets a little on my nerves. As a reader, I attach myself to characters, not plot. The plot keeps me hooked, that's a given, but if I'm not interested in the characters, I don't care what happens to them in the end.

So, at this point, I'm a little disinterested. I have about 300 more pages (maybe a little less) and I'm hoping that something happens to where we recover more of Hekat's PERSONAL motivations, rather than the god's. I'm hoping that the god wants her to do something that she cannot do. Like kill her son. A bit bloodthirsty of me, I know, but at least then Hekat would be Hekat rather than the god's vessel.

This book pushes 800 pages. I'm about 2/3 of the way through and I will finish it because I have hope that it will not all be about the god's vessel and what she must do for Mijak (the land they live in). I think the reason I haven't given up completely on the book is because of the amazing world Ms. Miller has created. As far as being a work of speculative fiction, I give Miller an A+. I just hope the rest of the book reaches its potential.

A side note: Also involving Empress, there is the whole issue of sex. While it doesn't happen frequently in the book, when it does happen it's always the same: male gets gratification, woman endures/suffers through it. Really? I know it's a harsh world, but the men who sleep with Hekat actually care for her (the warlord and the godspeaker). I doubt they would be complete ravishing beasts, mmkay? And it irritates me that Hekat is completely indifferent to everything that happens to her (including the sex). Hekat may be the god's vessel, but she is still a woman and, f'in A, we're not completely emotionless, okay? ::mutter mutter::

I'll try to finish this book this week. At this point, I can't honestly say that I would recommend it. But I won't say that I wouldn't recommend it. It's worth reading for Part I alone. The imagery and culture of Mijak is skillfully woven and worth the read. But if you're like me and characters make it or break it for you, then stay tuned for my final verdict.

What Form Rejection Means To Me

In honor of The Rejectionist's first anniversary in the blogosphere, she is hosting an uncontest where five random people will be selected to receive prizes. (I hope it's whiskey.) So, without further ado, here is what form rejection means to me.

Form rejection is wonderful. Really. No, seriously, I'm not joking.

Now, I'm not saying that it's as wonderful as a personalized rejection. And it certainly holds no candle to a request for a partial or full. It's not even in the same league with an offer of representation. But it's nice.

It's a nice way of showing you that someone out there has actually taken the time (even if it's just 30 seconds) to read your pathetic attempt at a query and cares enough to say, in the politest of terms, that you really shouldn't quit your day job your project sucks is not a good fit for them at this time.

I appreciate that. I appreciate seeing that acknowledgment. Even if it does make me turn to the ice cream later.

Because in the lowest circle of query hell is silence. Nothing. No reply. Sometimes not even an acknowledgment that they received your query. And you gnaw your fingernails until they bleed, hoping that your query got through to Mr. Fantastic Agent. Days pass. Weeks. Months. And you fret and you worry. What if they didn't receive it at all? What if they are really the Right Agent for you but they will never know because they didn't receive your query? Should you query about your query? It says on their website that they only respond if they're interested, but WHAT IF THEY DIDN'T GET YOUR QUERY???

But you're not one of those psycho writers (or at least you don't want to come across that way) so you wait and wait some more. And fret. You check twitter and the agent's website for updates. But all you have is silence.

Next to that not-knowing...I'd take a form rejection any day.

What I've Been Up To Regarding Writing

Hi, all,
     
For once I'm not here to complain about what's happening in the world beyond internet, writing and reading. (I'm actually trying to pretend it doesn't exist.) I'm here to tell you what I've been up to in my writing...and some interesting things I discovered about my characters/worlds/stories.
     
I read Lydia Sharp's post on grabbing your reader's attention with the first paragraph and was like, hmm, let's go back and look at my novel's first paragraph, shall we? (I limited myself to DRAGON QUEEN for those of you about to send me viral emails with the subject line: Stop messing with FURY already!) I've been dabbling with DQ's opening for a little while now. I rewrote it, but didn't really like it as much as I thought. So, yesterday, I pulled up a blank page, stared at the cursor for a moment, and began writing.


On my other critique forum, I received the critique that there was nothing happening (as in, nothing grabbing) in the first chapter because it was mostly set up. And while that irritated me a little bit, I was okay with it being just a setup chapter. But there were also some people who just didn't get Jade's personality. Her motivations were a bit blurry in their eyes and they even (gasp) thought she was a spoiled brat. There were also a few who expressed concern over Jade's age (16). So I thought, hmm, how can I fix that and yet remain true to the story?

This was my original opening:

The pink light of dawn filtered through my closed lids; the day I dreaded had arrived. Today was the sixteenth anniversary of my birth. I was, officially, a woman. That thought, and the gradual lightening of the forest, dragged my eyelids open. Groaning, I sat up. My back was stiff from lying on the rock for so many hours, spoiled as it was to my lush, feather mattress. But my aching muscles felt good, appropriate for this horrid, horrid day.

Not bad, necessarily, but it doesn't really make you scream, "I must read more!"


Here is my second attempt:


I held my breath as the candle guttered in is puddle of wax. Not yet. Not now. But it was to no avail. With one last feeble flicker, the flame died. I squinted down at the page I’d been reading; the tiny script was an inscrutable smear in the wan moonlight. Muttering, I marked my place in the heavy tome, Dragons: Magic and Might, and snapped it closed.

Better. There's a little bit more tension, anyway. But I'm still not satisfied.

This is what I came up with yesterday:     

I wasn’t running away. Not technically.

Pulling the cloak's hood closer around my face, I edged out of my room and tiptoed down the corridor. My skirts rustled, a cacophony in the sleeping silence, and—not for the first time—I cursed the laundry maid who’d discovered my attempt to pilfer one of the squire’s breeches. Her outrage had quivered her jowls and she’d marched me straight to my mother. I’d done many inexplicable, and sometimes unforgivable, things in my mother’s eyes, but my latest escapade had finally managed to crack her icy facade. Her shrieks had ricocheted in my ears long after she’d stopped yelling at me.


In my opinion, much more interesting than the previous two openings. It immediately raises questions and, yes, I would want to read more. 

So, which one would you rather read?

There are some other things, as well, that this new version changes/introduces. In it, Jade is 18. A little older, a little wilder. We get more of a sense of who she is. And, to top things off, you have the question: Why is she running away, though not technically?


I have yet to run this new version by my critique group...but I have a feeling that they'll like it. It will change some of the novel, for sure, but not much (which is something I always like).

And I have that itch again to write, write, write. Not sure if you've been paying attention, but THE LAST OF THE ELVES progress meter is rapidly filling. :D (I love those things, by the way.) And I'm ready to have another project out there for agents to consider. It will probably be a few more months if I decide to pursue this rewrite, but, hey, it's progress. 

How's your writing been going?

Grin and Bear It

Got a giggle this morning from the "I write like..." link over at The Sharp Angle . According to the website, I write like Edgar Allan Poe, Anne Rice, James Fenimore Cooper, James Joyce, William Shakespeare and Dan Brown. 

My readers should never be bored, at least.


But, yeah, life still sucks. Just found out that it will cost $950 in labor to fix my car. I'm not sure my car is even worth that much. My fiance is trying to finagle a deal with the mechanic and trade our bass boat for the work. Hopefully that happens, because there is no way I can come up with $950. Which means that I will either be driving it until it dies (the more likely scenario) or try to trade it in for a new vehicle. Which I really can't afford.


I'm not sure who's karma I screwed with, but apparently I did something REALLY bad. I'm sorry, okay? Whatever it was, I'm sorry.


I did get some things done this weekend, however. My MOH and I bought the stuff to make these really cute centerpieces (I only spent $30 and we're going to get probably 30 centerpieces out of it). I'm going to email her the addresses for the invitations tonight, and she's going to get all the invites printed out. Yay. I even found some flower girl baskets for 80 cents each. Flower girl dresses? I've found them and am just waiting on a confirmation on the sizes before I order them. (Only $11 each!)


Sunday Jake and I went over to my parent's house and got a LOT accomplished. Well, we made a good dent in it, anyway. Most of it is just hauling away stuff from my parents' remodel. I think next weekend we'll be taking down the porch.


So, I got some things done this weekend and it kept me from going completely bonkers this morning when I learned how expensive it was going to be to fix my car. But I'm crossing my fingers that the mechanic wants a boat...because, otherwise, I'm screwed.


I'm just grinning and bearing it for now.