Tired of Being Superwoman

I'll admit, I'm not a huge fan of the holidays. The commercialism, the politically-correctedness (is that a word?) of it, just makes me nauseous. I seriously want to go hermit and hide October through November.

Granted, there are things that I DO like about the holidays: Christmas carols, pumpkin pie, family gatherings, old movies, cold nights and hot chocolate, snuggling with your spouse. But anymore those things tend to take the back seat to the constant rush of the season. It's all about shopping lists and late-night baking frenzies and long trips to see people you're not even sure if you like.

Sigh.

Piling all this seasonal pressure on my already over-full schedule is just a disaster waiting to happen. I feel it today, especially. The day before Thanksgiving, and instead of ruminating on all the joys of Thanksgiving and all the things that I'm thankful for, I'm worried about cooking and schedules and resenting the fact that we have to go to my in-laws when all I really want to do is spend all day noshing at my parents' house (and I love my in-laws, I really do . . .but, well, they're not family-family). It's been all about compromise for me. And you know the thing about compromise: it never makes you happy.

So, I'm not all that happy. I'm stressed, is what I am. Fracturing, truthfully. About to blow my top. Every spare moment of my time has been dedicated to racking up the volunteer hours I need for the class I'm taking, and while I enjoy volunteering it's a far cry from the relaxing "me time" I need to keep my sanity.

Honestly, if it weren't for running, I would probably have gone crazy a week or so ago. But running keeps me sane. If it didn't take so much of my energy, I would probably be happy as a clown right now. But, well, running can be HARD (especially when you push yourself to go faster, further and harder each time, like me) and it makes me tired. And everyone knows (or soon will) that a tired Brandi equals a I-want-to-rip-your-eyes-out Brandi. Never good.

In order to keep this from happening (and destroy the "oh, she's such a sweet person" impression that my in-laws have of me) I'm going to take tonight off. Just me, the hubby (who'd better cooperate and be nice to me), the furry babies and some trashy movie that makes me laugh. Maybe some hot chocolate, too.

That will certainly give me a few things to be thankful for (like having the state-of-mind not to attack people for no reason).

Happy Thanksgiving!