Yesterday was a good day. Like usual, it started sagging around 3 p.m. (that two hour itch to go home), but nothing dastardly.
And then I clocked out to go home, stepped out into the blustery dark, and stopped.
Some inconsiderate a-hole had effectively prevented me from opening my driver's side door by parking a total of FOUR inches away. How they managed to do that without taking out my mirror, I have no idea. True a-holeness apparently takes talent.
What do I do?
Write a thank you note. After all, who wouldn't be grateful to be the recipient of such ignorance?
"Dear Corolla Owner,
"Thank you for your invitation to key your car. Your offer was most tempting, but I must unfortunately decline.
"And I must say that I am flattered that you think me so svelte that I can squeeze through the four-inch gap you left between my car and yours.
"Thank you for reminding me just how limber I am. It's been years since I've had to maneuver from the passenger's side to the driver's side in a compact car's interior. I stretched muscles I forgot I had. And I managed not to break an ankle, despite wearing high heels.
"And THANK YOU for having such confidence in my driving skills. I never knew I was so talented as to be able to get out of my parking space without knocking off your mirror or hitting the side of your car, which was so conveniently parked at an angle that overlapped my space. Fortunately for both of us, I could have been a stunt car driver.
"Have a wonderful night, you sweet, inconsiderate idiot. People like you make me wonder why I was ever worried about passing my driver's test."
::SIGH::
The sad thing is, I'm not exaggerating in the least. If I ever find out who drives that Corolla... let's just say what goes around comes around.
AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
Oh this is so great. Unfortunately, I have to deal with this almost daily, since I live in an apartment complex APPARENTLY FULL OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO PARK. Joe and I have seriously gotten into near fistacuffs with people over it.
ReplyDeleteIf you'd like to make copies of that letter, I'll slip them under the wipers of every car in my lot, because I'm sure I'm not the only one who lives here that is disgusted by this behavior.
@ Lydia
ReplyDeleteLol. Totally.
I have no witty comments to this. But you made me laugh with your letter. Way to go for your use of humor. Did you really leave that message, or was it simply the one you wish you wrote? I sure hope you don't have to go through such contortions again any time soon.
ReplyDelete