Cursings and Musings

Why I've Been AWOL

2012-01-27T12:33:00.002-06:00

It's not because of shiny objects, I promise.

I'm actually in the midst of a family crisis. It started the Tuesday before last when my stepdad fell off some scaffolding and severely injured his spine. Yes, severely injured his spine. It's as serious as it sounds. He's been in the hospital since and was just today transferred out of ICU and CCU. The road to recovery will be a long one.

Needless to say, most of my energies have been wrapped up with that and what energies I can spare have been devoted to school work, work-work and exercising (the last so I don't lose my sanity).

Sorry for my absence and general flakiness, I'll try to be better once things get slightly back to normal (which might be a long time . . .just a warning).

Secret-keeper or Blabbermouth?

2012-01-16T10:12:00.003-06:00

I realized recently that I've kept my submission(s) for publication under the wraps. Maybe that sounds like I'm not submitting anything, too busy refining novels that have been refined to death and pouring new, horribly cliche ideas onto paper.

But I am submitting. I'm just more reluctant to tell people about it.

When I first got "serious" about being published, I told all my friends, relatives, coworkers and strangers on the street that I had this story out to that editor and queries out to those agents. I was so psyched just to be submitting, that I didn't really care (or consider) that my submissions might not be well-received. So when a few of them (okay, most of them) weren't, I was stuck with explaining the result to the people who were just dying to know when my story would be published. Can you say, awkward?

I'll take a dozen, please!

So, I've learned to keep it to myself. Not because I'm ashamed of submitting, or even worried it won't be accepted (there's a 50/50 chance), but I just don't want to have any more awkward conversations. Also, it's easier to deal with rejection when no one else knows you've failed (except, maybe, your spouse because your demands for chocolate therapy have exceeded their normal amounts). Also, there's some part of me that wants to keep my struggles getting published private for now. Because I haven't really "made it" yet, so all my failures are far outweighing my successes. One day, I look forward to making that "I've finally done it" speech, but for now, I'm just keeping my mouth shut.

What about you? Do you let everyone know you're trying to get published or keep it under wraps? Please, share!

Dystopian Novels and Real-Life Civil Rights

2012-01-13T07:00:00.000-06:00

I recently read an article by Amy Alkon regarding her experiences with a TSA agent violating her civil liberties by sexually molesting her.

Some might think Ms. Alkon's take on the incident (being subjected to a pat-down) is extreme and overwrought. You might even think that she deserves to pay the $500,000 lawsuit filed against her for taking her story to her blog and accusing the agent of rape. But whether you think her outcry was justified or not, if you read any dystopian novels, it probably gave you a little twinge of unease.

There are many dystopian novels out there, especially when it comes to Young Adult literature, and of those I've read, many of them deal with a society where people have surrendered their rights (in most cases, willingly) for the "protection" of the government.

In The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, children were sacrificed to a violent, sadistic game and forced to kill each other in exchange for the provisions the government provided.

In Matched by Allie Condie, people married not for love, but for biological and genetic purposes to produce the most viable offspring. The government tells the characters what to read, what to do and what to think. The consequences for going against the Society were severe and often included death.

In Delirium by Lauren Oliver, love is seen as a disease and people flock like sheep to be cured. Those who'd rather not be cured, are persecuted and exterminated.

These are just a couple examples, and each of them made me a tad uneasy when I read them because I see a parallel in our own society. Sure, it's just a pat-down right now (because why shouldn't we allow our persons to be violated just because we want to visit our grandma and paid an outrageous amount to do so?), but what else will we surrender for the "protection" of the government?

I'm not a radical or activist by any means, but I'm beginning to resent how much the government interferes in my personal life—something I will keep in mind this November.

Movie Time: Dragon Hunters

2012-01-11T12:32:00.001-06:00

It's been a while since I've watched a movie that I cared to review. I'm not a movie critic, buff or fanatic by any means. But, thanks to Netflix, my movie-viewing options have expanded and, based on my likes and dislikes, it brought up the movie Dragon Hunters as a suggestion.

Dragon Hunters is not a new movie (or animation, however you choose to view it), but I'd never heard of it. But since the husband and I were bickering over whether to watch a bloody, gore-filled movie (his choice) or another episode of The Biggest Loser (I'm a junkie), we compromised with this.

O.M.G. I haven't been so amused by a cartoon in a long time. This movie literally shocked the laughter out of me. It was sweet, it was odd, it was just slightly WRONG. Hector, especially, the little blue rabbit/dog thing with extremely sharp teeth had me cackling like a senseless person. He farts fire and is obsessed with Zoe, following her around and growling "Girl!" Zoe, too, is a charming chatterbox, inspiring even the money-minded Gwizdo to become a hero. And Lian Chu is so sweet, and his deadly knitting needles cracked me up.

Plus, the animation is amazing. (At least it impressed me.)

I think if you enjoyed Shrek, you'd probably get a kick out of this movie. Check it out!

Note: This film was originally released in France, hence never hearing about it.

Hit or Miss? Does It Exist?

2012-01-06T14:41:00.000-06:00

I recently finished reading Cassandra Clare's City of Bones and have to admit that I really enjoyed it (besides the whole Jace and Clare being related thing . . .I thought they both accepted it too easily, especially since it came from The Bad Guy and also since they had the hots for one another, but I digress).

As I was reading some of the reviews on Goodreads.com, however, I discovered that, while some others absolutely loved it, there were an equal number that absolutely loathed it. Rarely did I come across someone who was in the middle of the road. Which got me thinking about something that happened to me recently in a critique group.

I had been getting rave reviews (or critiques, whatever) on my story. Most of the critters thought the MC was funny, charming and spunky. They thought the story was interesting, the plot solid. They couldn't wait to read more.

And then I had a reader who wasn't so thrilled. Whereas the other readers found my MC likable, this reader found her annoying, selfish and vapid. She didn't like the setting, the fact that she was a princess, and a whole grocery list of other things.

Now, I value each and every critique I receive and have learned through experience that sometimes the most negative critique can be the most helpful, but as the critter's critiques progressed in much the same manner, I realized that there was very little I could do to "fix it" without compromising the whole story.

So I gathered all the critiques I'd been given on the story and combed through them, wondering what I could do to make the character more likable for this one person without taking away what other readers had come to admire about her.

The conclusion: I couldn't. The very things that some readers admired about my MC, were the same things the one critter couldn't stand. I struggled with this for a while, because I am nothing but the queen of let's-make-everyone-happy, but it took reading City of Bones for me to realize that there is such a thing as a hit-or-miss book.

Want another example? How about Twilight by Stephenie Meyer? Hate it or love it? Usually readers feel one way or the other. I have yet to come across someone who read it who was merely indifferent. So, a hit-or-miss is possible. And, better yet, it's okay. It's okay for some people not to like your character or your book, for that matter, because others will. I think it boils down to audience--who the book was written for. When I mentioned that possibility to the critter, it was, of course, shot down and I was credited with being a "bad writer," but the more I think on it, the more I believe that it's true. My book wasn't written for that person, but it was for all those others. I just have to learn to be okay with that.

What about you? Have you read any hit or miss books lately? Had this same writing experience? Please share!

Book Review: Delirium

2011-12-28T07:00:00.000-06:00

Delirium by Lauren Oliver
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

It's been a while since I've felt so passionately about a book's ending.

WITHER's ending annoyed me. DELIRIUM's ending infuriated me.

It was an ending that made me feel like the 400+ pages that came before it were all pointless. Here we are, in a society where love is considered a dangerous disease, and, of course, the MC, Lena, falls in love. Though at first she is just another sheep following the government's edicts, she falls in love and begins to realize just how horrible and wrong the government is. She risks discovery, death and ostracism to be with Alex. And when her disease is finally discovered, there is almost a whole chapter devoted to how she would rather die than be cured . . .and therefore be without Alex.

Ah, melodrama, right?

But I'm okay with that. In fact, I love melodrama, sappiness and doomed romance. But then there was the ending. An ending where Lena not only abandons her love, she doesn't even LOOK BACK. Alex tells her to run and there is no arguing, no second guessing, no great exclamations of "I won't leave you," she just runs. And that soured the whole book for me, and, in fact, made me feel like the whole message--that love is worth everything--was completely undermined.

I've given this ending a lot of thought, mind you, and I didn't miss the whole "love is sacrifice" theme going on. But Lena did not sacrifice. She ran. She saved her own skin and let her love die. The coldest act in a love story possible. Seriously, WTF? Babble to me about how it works all you like, but I will never believe it was love that made Lena run. It was self-preservation. I don't care what my significant other told me to do, I would not leave him to be gunned down, captured, tortured and/or cured. I just wouldn't. THAT is the sacrifice. Sacrificing your own safety/well-being/life to be with the one you love. Sacrifice is NOT running because your boyfriend tells you to.

In the end, I simply believed that the only love that existed was the one Alex had for Lena. And she didn't deserve it.

There, now that I've gotten the ending out of the way (grr), there was another thing about this book that REALLY bothered me.

The pets.

In a world where love, affection and caring is frowned upon, why do they have pets? I can see livestock or guard dogs, but there is one neighbor who has a dog that seems to serve no purpose other than being the dog (who we get to watch die in such a heart-breaking way--thanks for that, Ms. Oliver). It makes no sense. Why do people have pets? Because they want to have something to CARE for and LOVE. I see this as a major flaw in the story. Such a flaw, in fact, that I spent a great deal of time frustrated about it and even more time appalled that this poor animal (yes, it's fiction, but sue me) served no other purpose than as a plot device so the main character can ruminate on how WRONG everything is becoming. Grr.

Okay, I will have to admit that I didn't hate the whole book (just the ending). In fact, I really enjoyed most of the book. Lauren Oliver is an amazing wordsmith. She brings a rare, fresh beauty to her writing and her descriptions seriously make me curl my toes in pleasure. Her first novel, BEFORE I FALL, is one of my all-time favorite books, and while I can't say that I will ever think of DELIRIUM with anything less than aggravation, it didn't completely spoil my love for the author. Instead, I look at my impression of the book as just that: MY impression. Some readers might love the ending. They might think it is the best thing in the world. I just can't say the same. Which is why I gave a potentially 5 star book only a 3 star rating.

P.S. If there is a sequel, I will read it in hopes that Lena redeems herself.

View all my reviews

Writing, Drawing and Running

2011-12-23T10:14:00.000-06:00

What do writing, drawing and running all have in common?

Once you step away from one of them for a while, it's almost like you have to start all over again.

Due to my hectic schedule, my writing has been sporadic at best. And drawing? Well, I haven't so much as doodled in a long time. But since I am currently in the lovely throes of winter break, I've found myself bombarded with the urge to create--both words and pictures.

Too bad everything I've produced is less than stellar.

My sentences are flat, my dialogue is lackluster, and my drawings look like misshapen cartoon characters. A five year old could do better. While it is very frustrating, it made me realize that writing and drawing, while requiring a certain amount of talent, require even more practice. Without practice, talent cannot grow. In some ways, it is like learning how to run.

In January 2011, I couldn't run a mile. Now, due to hard work, dedication and, yes, practice, I am running 5Ks and training to run a 10K. I have grown as a runner because I kept at it. I might have always had a "talent" for running (okay, more of an "ability") but if I'd stopped midway through the year, I couldn't very well be running 5Ks right now, could I?

I think the same idea--dedication, hard work and practice--applies to creative arts as well. Without constantly working at it, you can't improve. At best, your talent stagnates. At worst, it reverts (as with my drawing skills).

Now, I'm not saying it's not okay to take a short break from writing, drawing or even running at times, but it's best to keep in mind that letting something go too long can only harm your goals, whatever they might be. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience here. ;)

Book Review: Entwined

2011-12-21T07:00:00.000-06:00

Entwined by Heather Dixon
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

ENTWINED by Heather Dixon was like Beauty and the Beast meets Harry Potter meets Pride and Prejudice--romantic, magical and quirky.

As far as plots go, this was one of the most well-written I have read in YA literature in a long time. All the events entwined (pardon the pun) in the most beautiful, elegant and exceptional way. While I might have seen some of the "twists" coming, they came in such a way that didn't make me roll my eyes or feel like the author was treating me like someone with minimal intelligence. (Instead, I just felt very self-satisfied and smug.)

Another thing I found interesting and refreshing about this story was the way it was written: it has a Victorian feel to it. More so, I thought, than that of a fairy tale, though there were of course those elements. The writing was very polite and proper, which made the moments that weren't that much more sparkling. The descriptions were vivid and a few phrases even had me chuckling at their cleverness (the rug at the end had me laughing out loud).

The more I think about this book, the more I admire it--the humor, the imagery, the characters. It feels so FRESH in a YA world of regurgitated ideas and plot devices. I will definitely keep this author on my "to watch" list.

View all my reviews

Book Review: Wither

2011-12-19T07:00:00.000-06:00

Wither by Lauren DeStefano
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book opens with the quotation from T.S. Eliot "This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but a whimper." I felt that same quote could apply to the ending of this book. I won't reiterate a summary . . .that's easy enough to find either through goodreads.com or Amazon, so I'm going to discuss how I thought this book fell short of its potential.

All throughout Rhine's story, there are hints of dark and horrible things happening within the mansion where she is imprisoned--the unwilling bride of a rich, sheltered boy, and sister-wife to two other girls. There is Housemaster Vaughn, the House Governor Linden's father, who is obsessed with finding a cure for the virus that takes male children at 25 and female children at 20. It is hinted that he dissects and experiments on corpses of those who've succumbed to the illness, including his son's first wife, Rose. There are even hints that he is a sadistic, cruel and evil man who would stop at nothing to ensure that his son is happy, which includes making sure his wives stay compliant. When they don't, he kills them or their babies.

But that's never actually proven.

And, really, as far as villains go, Vaughn didn't scare me. Not even a little. The wives and servants were terrified of him, but I was never given a significant reason. Sure, Jenna dies prematurely. Maybe he did something to her because she was troublesome, but that's still not proven. When he discovers that Rhine has feelings for the servant Gabriel, he removes him to the basement . . .but doesn't actually do anything horrible to him. I went along with it, however, because I was so sure there was going to be a culmination of Vaughn's atrocities, where all his evil-doings were revealed and Rhine faced him in the ultimate showdown, which, upon victory, would grant her her freedom.

Pffbt. Vaughn's horrible crimes are never proven, and Rhine never faces him. Instead, she and Gabriel escape into the snowy Florida night with the help of a nameless attendant. No pursuit follows. No life-or-death scenarios. It's such a simple escape, that it makes me wonder why it was such a big deal to escape.

I get that this is a trilogy and that the possibility for a showdown with Vaughn still exists, but it annoys me when such a promising book doesn't deliver.

Granted, I liked the book. I'll even pick up the next in the trilogy just to find out what happens. But if the second book doesn't show more depth, I'll probably stop there.

View all my reviews

The Coolest Thing About Becoming a Secondary Education Teacher

2011-12-16T07:00:00.000-06:00

The coolest thing about becoming a secondary education teacher: I get to read YA novels and call it "research."

I kid you not.

At a recent meeting for prospective MAT (that's Masters of Arts in Teaching) students, we were ENCOURAGED to read young adult literature because, and I quote "it's a gateway into the mind of an adolescent." I'm sure you YA writers are squeeing with excitement at this. To think, that TEACHERS are reading about love triangles and were-creatures and sparkly vampires to better understand their students.

Honestly, it makes me giddy that this was one of the suggestions to the new recruits, even if I thought, "Well, duh. All high school teachers should read YA so they know what their students are into." But then it made me realize that I never ONCE saw any of my teachers with a YA book. It's a shame, really. We might have had more to talk about. But then, back in my day (yeah, I'm ancient), I didn't really understand what YA literature was. It was just stuff I read for fun, while the teachers prattled on about how awesome Of Mice and Men and The Last of the Mohicans were.

And, call me crazy, but I seriously hope that I will be able to introduce some YA novels into the required reading and, you know, actually DISCUSS them on an intellectual level. Ah, daydreams.

Now, back to my current YA novel.

Last Day

2011-12-09T07:00:00.000-06:00

Tuesday was my last day at the junior high where I've been volunteering.

A part of me is a little sad about this. After all, it was an interesting, informative and even enjoyable experience. It certainly taught me a lot about what to expect from teenagers in a classroom-type setting.

Another part of me is just SO glad it is over with.

Because I learned that I'm not a fan of junior high kids. They're drama-drama-drama. I hated junior high when I was IN junior high, and going back, even in a position of authority, is no different. There is still the backstabbing, the cliques, the mean girls (yes, they exist in high school, too, but not to the same extent), and the hurricane of hormones. OMG, the hormones. Girls and boys are starting to "like" each other, but it's that immature "I like her so I'm going to pull her hair" kind of like. Ugg. It can be amusing to watch, but also irritating because it constantly interferes with the lessons. Also, my chihuahua has a longer attention span than most of these kids. Jeez.

But it's over now. Now, it's all about writing a paper and turning in hours logged and then one more tutoring session with Upward Bound students (high schoolers, thank God) and I'm done for the semester. Yay!

But I think I will miss it. Even the eighth graders.

Cavemen Were Not Depressed

2011-12-07T14:13:00.001-06:00

I don't think Cavemen had to deal with all the mental illnesses that we deal with today.

Why?

They were too busy trying to find food and, you know, being chased by saber-toothed tigers. Doesn't give much time to wallow or explore feelings. All of their energy was put into SURVIVING. And, if by some chance, one of the cavemen stopped to cry or whatever, he would have been picked off and eaten.

Just sayin'.

Do I look depressed to you?

This post was inspired by this article.

I Wanna Be More Like Her

2011-12-05T16:00:00.001-06:00

Can I tell you a secret?

This is who I want to be . . .right now. Not when I "grow up" (seriously, 25 is too old for that), but right now.

In case you don't know (what are you, a cave man?) this is P!NK. In case you don't own a radio, she's a singer. An AWESOME singer. I first discovered her music when I was 15 with the CD Missundaztood. The song "Don't Let Me Get Me" did not describe me, but it resonated. And almost every song since has had that same resonation. Her lyrics speak to me in a primal way, awakening that dormat badass girl sleeping within.

That's why I love P!NK. She makes me feel like a sexy, powerful woman. With attitude, with sass. The kind of woman that doesn't take anyone else's bullshit.

The kind of woman I really, really want to be.

I think if I were more like P!NK, I wouldn't care as much about what people thought of me, and I sure as hell wouldn't be so sensitive. I wouldn't let people disrespect me, bully me, or talk to me like I was something on the bottom of their shoe.

I certainly wouldn't let them get away with hurting me.

So, this New Year's one of my resolutions is going to be "Be more like P!NK." But I'm going to go ahead and start right now.

In Cold Blood: Awesome Book. "Meh" Movie.

2011-11-30T10:25:00.001-06:00

I recently read In Cold Blood by Truman Capote.

Let's just start off that I am one of those people who struggle with reading non-fiction. In fact, I usually avoid it altogether, but if more non-fiction was written like this, I think I might branch out.

In Cold Blood in a non-fiction novel. It reads like fiction, which is great for people who don't normally read non-fiction.

For those of you (like me) who have never heard of In Cold Blood, let me give you a brief summary, courtesy of Goodreads.com:

On November 15, 1959, in the small town of Holcomb, Kansas, four members of the Clutter family were savagely murdered by blasts from a shotgun held a few inches from their faces. There was no apparent motive for the crime, and there were almost no clues.
As Truman Capote reconstructs the murder and the investigation that led to the capture, trial, and execution of the killers, he generates both mesmerizing suspense and astonishing empathy. In Cold Blood is a work that transcends its moment, yielding poignant insights into the nature of American violence.

The interesting thing about this work is that Capote garners empathy not just for the murder victims, but for the murderers. We gain intimate knowledge of the killers--who they are, what they feel, etc. It's a bit eerie, a bit unnerving, to feel sorry for cold-blooded killers, but it's impossible not to. And that is not because Capote portrays them in a sympathetic light. No, everything in the story is a black-and-white, these-are-the-facts depiction.

But that same in-depth research into the characters that made them so empathetic, so "human" in the written work, is a bit glossed over in the movie. Sure, we get glimpses of it, but it's not there in the degree that gives you chills in the novel. Of course, a movie is a movie and a book is a book, but if I hadn't read the book, I'm not sure I would have finished the movie. It was a bit boring, honestly. And that magic quality that enraptured and yet unsettled the reader in the book--the big thing that makes the story, in my opinion--was not present in the movie. Without that, it was just another tale about two psychos who murdered a family.

I am planning to watch the biographical movie "Capote" which illustrates Capote's research into the crime. I've heard it's really great--and I'm hoping that this movie will possess the qualities in the book that the movie "In Cold Blood" lacked.

I love PURPLE.

2011-11-28T15:41:00.001-06:00

Prose, that is.

I love purple prose. Call it a weakness, an indulgence, a slide into writer-insanity, but I seriously love purple prose.

According to Wikipedia: Purple prose is a term of literary criticism used to describe passages, or sometimes entire literary works, written in prose so extravagant, ornate, or flowery as to break the flow and draw attention to itself. Purple prose is sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context. It also refers to writing that employs certain rhetorical effects such as exaggerated sentiment or pathos in an attempt to manipulate a reader's response.

Honestly, most of my first drafts are so full of purple prose that it would make most writers cringe. Despite the above paragraph, I don't do this to "draw attention" to my writing. Instead, I do it because it's what comes naturally to me. I naturally write in that flowery, ornate way. To stifle that, or to try to correct myself, was seriously a pain in the neck and made first draft processes extremely long. Now, I embrace my purple prose and just write.

Funny, the more I learn about writing, the more I embrace the philosophy that in order to "be" a writer, you need to "just write." Ignore all the advice out there (good, great, and bad) and just write.

When you get those words on paper then—and only then—do you take that advice (hopefully just the good and great kind) and apply it to your story. I've found that this is not only the best way to keep the vein of your story about, well, the story, but it will also help you stay true to your own voice.

The Pointless Journey of Self-Discovery

2011-11-25T07:00:00.000-06:00

About once a week I have an epiphany. An "ah-ha!" moment where I discover some aspect of myself that was previously hidden from me. You'd think at that rate, I should have a pretty good grasp on who I am. And that would probably be true, if I would quit changing.

See, as we become more aware of certain traits in ourselves (and sometimes even traits in others), we adapt to embrace or reject that trait. (I think that might be the royal we.) For example, I've known for a long time that I'm a perfectionist. I could either embrace that aspect of myself or I could reject it. What did I decide? Um. Still working on that.

No, this isn't my arm. I'm not that hairy.

But I have decided that I'm going to quit trying to "find" myself, because once I do, I inevitably flit away again. Maybe that means I'm wishy-washy, but I prefer to call myself malleable.

I'm the type of person (most of the time) who will try anything once (the exception being something stupid or dangerous or both). Because of this, I find and gain interests at a rapid pace. I pretty much like everything, actually. I like politics, science, mathematics, English, poetry, foreign languages, crafts, mechanics (though I pretend ignorance so my husband doesn't actually make me change my own oil), dancing, music (ALL KINDS), crocheting, typing, puzzles, writing, gardening, fishing (surprise, surprise), exercising, running, shadow-boxing, painting, baking, cooking, drawing, etc. I could go on and on. In fact, most of the time I feel a bit overwhelmed by all my interests and will find myself torn over which ones to pursue. (You ever heard that song by Terri Clark, "I Wanna Do it All"? That's totally me. But at the same time that I have all these diverse interests, I'm hesitant to share them with people for fear of coming across as less than knowledgeable/talented/experienced. Why? Must be the perfectionism kicking in.

But I'm slowly becoming okay with my wishy-washiness, my scatter-brained eagerness to discover and learn and try more and more things. Now, if that perfectionist side of me would only get with the program and let me crow about my interests without fear that someone will come along and call my efforts pathetic.

What are your interests? Any that you've recently acquired?

Tired of Being Superwoman

2011-11-23T07:05:00.000-06:00

I'll admit, I'm not a huge fan of the holidays. The commercialism, the politically-correctedness (is that a word?) of it, just makes me nauseous. I seriously want to go hermit and hide October through November.

Granted, there are things that I DO like about the holidays: Christmas carols, pumpkin pie, family gatherings, old movies, cold nights and hot chocolate, snuggling with your spouse. But anymore those things tend to take the back seat to the constant rush of the season. It's all about shopping lists and late-night baking frenzies and long trips to see people you're not even sure if you like.

Sigh.

Piling all this seasonal pressure on my already over-full schedule is just a disaster waiting to happen. I feel it today, especially. The day before Thanksgiving, and instead of ruminating on all the joys of Thanksgiving and all the things that I'm thankful for, I'm worried about cooking and schedules and resenting the fact that we have to go to my in-laws when all I really want to do is spend all day noshing at my parents' house (and I love my in-laws, I really do . . .but, well, they're not family-family). It's been all about compromise for me. And you know the thing about compromise: it never makes you happy.

So, I'm not all that happy. I'm stressed, is what I am. Fracturing, truthfully. About to blow my top. Every spare moment of my time has been dedicated to racking up the volunteer hours I need for the class I'm taking, and while I enjoy volunteering it's a far cry from the relaxing "me time" I need to keep my sanity.

Honestly, if it weren't for running, I would probably have gone crazy a week or so ago. But running keeps me sane. If it didn't take so much of my energy, I would probably be happy as a clown right now. But, well, running can be HARD (especially when you push yourself to go faster, further and harder each time, like me) and it makes me tired. And everyone knows (or soon will) that a tired Brandi equals a I-want-to-rip-your-eyes-out Brandi. Never good.

In order to keep this from happening (and destroy the "oh, she's such a sweet person" impression that my in-laws have of me) I'm going to take tonight off. Just me, the hubby (who'd better cooperate and be nice to me), the furry babies and some trashy movie that makes me laugh. Maybe some hot chocolate, too.

That will certainly give me a few things to be thankful for (like having the state-of-mind not to attack people for no reason).

Happy Thanksgiving!

Revamping

2011-11-21T16:49:00.001-06:00

So, it's been a while.

I keep popping on here to write thoughtful and interesting tidbits on writing and reading, and then I stop. Either discouraged or bored by my own ramblings, and fade quietly back into the blogosphere. I still read blogs. Quite a bit, actually, but I rarely, if ever, comment on them. It probably makes my online friends feel like I don't care (or that I've died), but I do (and I'm still alive). I just felt like I was stagnating, regurgitating the same old things (cursings and musings) over and over. I felt unoriginal. I didn't feel like a very inspiring or even interesting person, let alone a writer.

Therefore, I stopped doing the whole blogging thing because, well, I couldn't handle the pressure of constantly coming up with a new, sparkling idea. Instead, I threw myself into a personal blog (which is private) and basically blogged about anything and everything that popped into my head. But since it wasn't writing related, I thought that it wouldn't be a good fit for this blog.

And then I had an epiphany. Why does this blog have to be just about writing and reading? Why can't it be about ME? I mean, I'm not anyone special or particularly exciting, but I'm sure a few of you might find my quirks interesting. And, believe it or not, I can be humorous and witty and even knowledgeable on some occasions.

So here I am. Back. To revamp Cursings and Musings and retake it for my own. This blog is going to reflect me from now on, and I'm an ever-changing, organic person. Are you ready for it?

Really Bad Poetry

2011-10-21T16:57:00.002-05:00

I've recently posted some of my poetry on Deviantart.com. (Yes, there goes my dream of actually getting paid to write drivel.) I claim to be a poet, but I never said that I was a good one.

Enjoy.

For the Hell of It

2011-10-13T16:22:00.003-05:00

Lately, I've found myself writing for just the hell of it. Or, to put it more nicely: Just writing to write, to have fun, create, explore, etc.

It's been a long time since I've done that.

It's been a long time since I've written something that was just for my own pleasure. A long time since I've wrote something without worrying how my critique partners would react to such-and-such.

It's nice.

It's freeing.

It makes me wonder why I ever stopped.

Oh, I've been writing. I've been revising, too. But a lot of the time I've felt stifled or constrained. I've always had to abide by rules and suggestions and the worry if the story I was writing was publishable or not.

It's wonderful to not care sometimes.

And maybe MY story is complete crap. Maybe it is unpublishable junk rife with cliches and filler words and too many adjectives. BUT IT IS SO LOVELY. It makes my heart sing. It reminds me that THIS--the process of just putting raw words on paper--is why I write. THIS is what I've been struggling these past months to regain. To write just to write. To write just because. To write, write, write and no longer CARE that so-and-so editor/agent/critique partner might not like it.

You should try it sometime.

Because . . .

2011-08-11T15:19:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we need that reminder that we're not alone in this. That we need to keep trying.

A truly inspiring tale about rejection.

Monday Madness: One More Time!

2011-08-08T07:00:00.001-05:00

You know how to tell when a writer is lying?

When they say, "Oh, yes, I'm on my final revision."

Or maybe it's just me.

I SWEAR that it's not just the perfectionist in me changing my mind halfway through said revision. Sometimes, it's not until you fix the little things, that you see that something bigger might need a polish. Or a rewrite. Love the rewrite. Embrace it. Buy it flowers.

I seriously did think that DRAGON QUEEN was almost ready; that I had finally reached the "final revision stage". And then in the process of changing one thing, I toppled the dominoes and got myself into a huge MESS of rewrites.

I'm at the dizzy, passionate phase of revising right now (as in, it's actually been gratifying and fun and exciting to see how much stronger my story is getting), but I know soon that I will tire out and be whimpering for mercy. But for now, it's great. Flowers everywhere!

For those of you who are rolling your eyes and muttering, "She's never going to be done with this story!" let me assure you that I'm doing the revisions correctly this time. I am not making significant plot or character changes, I am just amplifying what was already there, but was perhaps glossed over in an attempt to get the story out the first time (or second time, or third time) through. Relationships and characters are being fleshed out. Foreshadowing is being utilized. It's, really, just awesome how much these "little" things are making such a big difference.

And MAYBE after this, I will honestly be able to say that I'm on my final revision. And that makes me all tingly inside.

Monday Madness: Ode to Movies

2011-08-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

I tend to like my movies like I like my novels: full of fluff and good feeling. I gobble up romantic comedies and Disney movies like dark chocolate and have gotten to the point where I don't even try to hide it anymore. But thanks to Netflix and Red Box (and weather that has you spontaneously bursting into flames when you dare to venture outside) I've been catching up on some "less fluffy" movies. Much to my amazement, I'm actually enjoying them.

Here is a list of movies that I've watched that I didn't think I would like, but actually did:

Winter's Bone — This movie made me so uncomfortable. First, it was made in my backyard (not literally), and the familiar setting, along with the rough and scary characters (who could be related to me) really set me on edge. This movie haunted me. Freaked me out. And while I resented being reminded of the people that I come from (yes, I have relatives a lot like the people in this movie), it was definitely worth watching.

Million Dollar Baby — I kept putting off watching this one because someone had told me the gist of it once, and that it wasn't a happy movie. They were right; it's not a happy movie. But it's not really a sad or depressing movie either. There's a lot of hope in this film. And I know that I'm not a movie critic by any means, but I thought this was an excellent movie because of just how emotive it was. Again, some of Maggie's family reminded me of people I know, and so it might have hit closer to home for me than someone else, but if you do not feel some little ping in your heart at the end of this movie, then you are dead inside. Seriously.

Love & Other Drugs — I didn't want to watch this movie because I thought it was about DOING drugs. And not the prescription kind. My husband finally convinced me to watch it, and it rocked my world (and not just because of the many, many, many sex scenes). It was such a gritty take on love—no romantic comedy here. I cried and laughed many times during this movie, and it led to a serious discussion about what love is between me and my husband. (Good news: We think we have it figured out. Our version, anyway.)

The Prestige — A whole different can of worms here, but I found myself engrossed in this movie. This movie is a prime example of love-to-hate characters. Throughout the movie, I did not like either one of the main characters. Neither Angier or Borden were "good". What they were, instead, were very mortal. Prone to mistakes and jealousy and stupidity and vanity. And the end . . .man, the end. So twisted. I loved it.

Next on the list: The Black Swan and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

But first, Suckerpunch. :)

Liking these movies was a good reminder to me that there are great things outside our comfort zone, if we just give them a chance. Now that I've branched out my movies, I think the next step is my literature (and not just because I'm being forced to, like in school.)

What about you? See any movies you thought you wouldn't like, but ended up loving? What about books?

Monday Madness: Toning Your Core

2011-07-25T06:00:00.000-05:00

I really like to exercise and I find it funny that a lot of exercise vernacular can be applied to editing a manuscript. I find it so amusing, in fact, that I thought about paralleling my exercise routine with my current editing process. However, if that were the case, I would have been toning my core for, like, three months straight.

That's right, I'm in the process of trying to get a sexier middle (in my manuscript rather than my actual abs). Thanks to some very helpful critiques, I realized that two of my middle chapters included a lot of summary rather than action (i.e. flab instead of muscle). So I went to work.

First there was the light stretching. I tried tweaking a word there, a sentence here.

Then the warmup: replacing telling with showing.

The actual exercise: scrapping entire paragraphs and scenes for others.

Then the cool down: fine tuning the scene.

Finally, the last stretching: tweaking of words and sentences.

By the time it was over with, I was mentally exhausted, but at least now I have a stronger core.

Drawing vs. Writing

2011-07-21T09:42:00.000-05:00

It's been a horrid week and while I'll try not to bore you with the details, let's just say that it involved me threatening to kick a relative's rear end to next Tuesday and the newest addition to my furry family, Papi, a white chihuahua, being hit and killed by a car. So, yes. Awfulness abounds.

Some people might harvest this turmoil and use it to write something really dark and angry. Something that leaves tear stains on their keyboard. Not me. Despite my tendency to have a dark vibe in a lot of my writings, I'm usually NOT in that sort of mood when I write them. I'm usually in a pretty good mood, or at least a neutral mood. Writing in a bad mood leads to, well, a lot of unintelligible, melodramatic scribbling. Instead, I draw.

Drawing is therapeutic for me. My mind goes blank. The only thing that exists is the paper and whatever medium I'm working in (lately, it's been cheap ball point pen). My mind narrows in on the line, the expression, the shading. Nothing else matters. And yet, it still becomes an outlet for my emotion. After I complete a drawing, I feel like some of the festering has gone away. I feel emptied. Scraped clean. Sometimes this feeling will last the rest of the day. Other times, it's only a moment. If it's the latter, I'll usually start working on another drawing.

I've been drawing a lot this week. It's probably a good thing. It's certainly allowed me to contribute once again to my Deviant Art page (which remained un-updated for, like, 6 months). I don't really draw to impress people and I'm certainly not the most talented artist out there, but I still like to share my works with others because every now and then, someone else will be like "I totally understand what this means" and it will make me feel not so alone.

This drawing is one that I finished this week. It's called "Sorrow" and I drew it the day Papi died, but before it actually happened. A premonition? I'm not sure.

Silencing the Superfluous Voices in My Head

2011-07-15T12:18:00.000-05:00

But keeping the good ones.

Clicking on some of my previous blogs, I realized that I used to be helpful. I used to be "in the know" about writing and publishing and querying and all that inky stuff. So why did I stop?

Simple: Too many voices in my head.

I'm a people-pleaser. I also am an idea-monger. Those two traits do not help with writing. And I found myself, more often than not, struggling with conflicting advice rather than just trusting my gut.

I'll admit, I've also been going through enormous bouts of self-doubt again and moments of "why am I doing this again?" but I've really tried to keep them private. I got tired of having pity parties, for one, and then I just felt like a wimp. In fact, I went through moments where I thought, "Maybe I'm not ready for this whole writing career pursual." So, I took a step back.

It bothers me (quite a bit actually) that I'm no longer providing insightful, helpful information to the readers of my blog, but I'd rather be silent than sound like a phony. I have no authority in the matter, really. I'm just like (the majority of) you. A scribbler struggling to be a writer. But even as I read blog after blog (and still read a lot of blogs, mind), it took me a long while to realize that the most important thing to being a writer was something I was sacrificing so I could fit the mold of what everyone else wanted: my voice. I was so concerned about perfecting my technique, that I came to struggle with what is honestly the most important thing when it comes to writing: voice. Style. What makes your story different from the hundreds that came before it.

The sad thing is, before I had all these "expert" voices clamoring in my head for attention, I had a pretty good grasp on my voice. It's flowery and sometimes dark, sprinkled with humor and elaborate descriptions. It can be serious or light-hearted. It's almost always romantic. And of all the things that I know about writing (having a bachelor's degree in creative writing, I should know a little bit) it's that it doesn't really matter if your spelling is atrocious, your colons should be semi-colons, and you occasionally use one too many adverbs as long as you have an established and engaging VOICE.

Take my story The Dragon Queen for example. When I started it, I got a lot of flack for my main character, Jade, being "cliche". I worried and fretted about this for so long, that I couldn't even revise the story. I kept getting dragged down into the worry that she wasn't good enough. But then I realized there are reasons for cliches: because they're good. Yes, you see a lot of rebellious princesses, and, sure, if that's all there was to Jade, I could see it being a real issue. But it isn't. Why? Because of Jade's voice. Through her voice (or mine, whichever) the reader eventually reaches the conclusion that just because Jade is cast as a stereotypical, rebellious princess, doesn't mean that's all there is to her. And soon those same readers who had issues with her being a stereotype, ended up reneging their words soon after.

So, while I've learned to trust myself a bit more, I'm still refraining from dipping into the writer world of shoulds and shouldn'ts. Now, I'm trusting in my own abilities and the advice of a few helpful critters, and I'm a stronger writer because of it.

A Quarter of a Century

2011-07-06T11:34:00.000-05:00

It's official. I am now a quarter of a century old.

Woohoo! Right?

Pffbt. I don't feel like 25. Most of the time, I still feel like I'm 19, struggling with "finding myself" and grasping at dreams. And that's okay. Especially if it means that I keep getting carded for things like buying knife sets (I am not joking).

I honestly thought that by 25 I would be set. I would be married (check), be paying on my own home (nope), have a kid or two (do dogs count?) and be well-established in my career (haha). Funny how life isn't predictable and doesn't follow a schedule. While there have been some things I've managed to keep to the plan (getting married AFTER college, having kids AFTER landing a career (so far at least)), mostly I've been all over the place.

First of all, whoever thought I would be going back to school to be a teacher? Not me. But here I am. Taking classes. Trying not to think about the enormous debts I'm going to accrue or how completely exhausted I am going to be. And once I get my schooling out of the way and start teaching, the husband is going to go to school for . . . something. He hasn't decided yet.

My husband is a little like me in that he wants to do EVERYTHING. He wants to learn about EVERYTHING. We're like kindergartners, changing our minds every three seconds about what we want to be when we grow up. But I've finally buckled down and decided to be a teacher. No worries, I'm still writing. In fact, I've been writing and revising like crazy. I just haven't been talking about it much. Not sure why.

So, the new goal is to be a secondary English teacher and writer. That's what I'm going to be when I grow up. Or get older I guess. I've heard it's all downhill from 25. (Lol.)

One thing is for certain: I AM slowly becoming my mother. I used to loathe gardening, taking care of animals (I liked animals, just didn't like cleaning up their poop), and Martha Stewart-esque household chores. Now, I have a garden that I spend a LOT of my time in (and enjoy it, which is the weird thing). I want to have livestock so badly, but can't. Grr. And this past weekend I made pickles. Yep, I canned. All by myself. (And they are delicious!)

I'm looking forward to the next 25 years. We'll see how the plans go for them.

Monday Madness: A Little Sugar with My Vinegar

2011-06-27T14:17:00.000-05:00

I can be a pretty ruthless critter. Yes, me. It's like my Darkside. I find much pleasure in taking someone's story and ripping it to shreds.

Most of the time I remember to be nice about it. (At least, I think I am. I've yet to receive any death threats.)

But I HAVE scared a few people off. Some people can't handle the steady dose of vinegar I pour over their manuscripts, and they usually run for cover when I come critting. But here's a little sugar for my vinegar: I'm mean to you so I can be mean to me.

For example, I can't dissect your character's motivations without first making sure mine are pretty dang clear. I can't complain about your lifeless dialogue if mine is so dead it's starting to smell. Also, when I'm critting, I find mistakes in my writing by looking at yours. If your MC's whining drives me crazy, there's a good chance my MC's whining will drive someone else crazy. So, snip, snip.

Critting makes me excited to be a writer. I like to contribute, to make a difference, and to help my fellow writers dish out the best stories they possibly can. If it means I have to be a little sour rather than sweet, well, okay then. And give it right back to me.

And I love my critters. Those who can stand me usually give as good as they get. Maybe this makes me wacky, but I honestly get MORE motivation after receiving a critique. Even if it's ripping my story to shreds. Even if it's telling me I suck. As long as they point out how I can fix it, then I'm game.

What about you? Do you prefer sugar or vinegar with your critique?

Book Review: No Mercy

2011-06-22T07:00:00.003-05:00

No Mercy by Sherrilyn Kenyon was one of those spur of the moment buys. I'd read a book or two by Sherrilyn Kenyon a while back, vaguely remembered liking them, the blurb sounded interesting, and I needed something to keep me from going crazy on our weekend camping trip.

According to the blurb:

Live fast, fight hard and, if you have to die, then take as many of your enemies with you as you can. That is the Amazon credo and it was one Samia lived and died by. Now in contemporary New Orleans, the immortal Amazon warrior is about to learn that there’s a worse evil coming to slaughter mankind than she’s ever faced before.

Shapeshifter Dev Peltier has stood guard at the front of Sanctuary for almost two hundred years and in that time, he’s seen it all. Or so he thought. Now their enemies have discovered a new source of power--one that makes a mockery of anything faced to date.

The war is on and Dev and Sam are guarding ground zero. But in order to win, they will have to break the most cardinal of all rules and pray it doesn’t unravel the universe as we know it.

Let's start off with the fact that I liked this book. I liked the characters (who were funny and spunky) and the context was definitely interesting. I'm a pretty hard sell when it comes to paranormal romances anymore, but I still found myself enjoying Kenyon's mix of Greek mythology and modern-day paranormals. Demons, Daimons, Dark-Hunters, Were-Hunters, and more! I enjoyed the book, even if I snickered a little bit on just how boy crazy the writing seemed (if you want descriptions of rock-hard, drool-worthy bodies, then Kenyon is a good bet for you), but since it was a romance, I let it go.

However, I had my nitpicks: EVERYONE is beautiful. I seriously hate that. And they weren't even beautiful in their own unique way. They were just lovely and lust-inducing. Yes, I get that they're "not human" but does every stinking nonhuman have to be drop-dead gorgeous? (The only exception were minor-minor characters.) And the ending. I would have been more than happy if Ms. Kenyon did without the epilogue. The epilogue took a sweet, emotional ending and turned it into disgustingly-sweet-OMG-seriously?-overkill. Yes, I wanted Sam and Dev to have their happy ending, but I'm also of the mindset that it's OKAY for that ending to be imperfect.

(WARNING: I am going to totally ruin the book for anyone who hasn't read it.)

So, Dev and Sam couldn't have babies because she's technically dead, and she was still in danger of having Artemis come kick her ass, but that was cool with me. And then Nick delivers Sam's soul (no clue as to how he gets that from Artemis . . .must have to do with him sleeping with her) and what's-his-face (S-something; he only appears in the book twice, so it's easy to forget) comes in with some BS excuse that he hates the Fates so he's going to make it where Sam can get pregnant just to piss them off. Baby-making ability does not equal happily-ever-after-perfect romance. Or maybe it does. But it seriously made me want to rip those pages out. Do I have anything against the desire for a lovey-dovey couple to procreate? Not at all. But I DO have a grudge against dues ex machina. And that's what brought this book from a four star to a three star review.

Book Review: Blackveil

2011-06-15T06:00:00.001-05:00

So, I'm behind. Sue me.

Actually don't. It would be a waste of your time. The only thing you'd win would be my car, and you don't want it. Seriously.

I did actually read a book a while back. Not sure how far back. Maybe a month ago? I've been BUSY. (I've also been wondering if a text book counts towards Goodreads reading challenge, since that's the only thing I've had time to read.) But anyway, a while back I read Blackveil by Kristen Britain.

First off, let me say that Kristen Britain is one of my "I will buy anything she writes" kind of authors. (Anne Bishop is the other one.) So I pre-ordered Blackveil and did a little happy dance when it arrived. Then it sat on my coffee table for, like, two months.

This is probably due to the fact that Blackveil is HUGE. It's over 600 pages. That's a big commitment. But I finally buckled down and read it. According to the book's blurb:

Once a simple student, Karigan G'ladheon finds herself in a world of deadly danger and complex magic, compelled by forces she cannot understand when she becomes a legendary Green Rider -- one of the magical messengers of the king. Forced by magic to accept a dangerous fate she would never have chosen, headstrong Karigan has become completely devoted to the king and her fellow Riders.

But now, an insurrection led by dark magicians threatens to break the boundaries of ancient, evil Blackveil Forest -- releasing powerful dark magics that have been shut away for a millennium.

This is the fourth book in the series (did I mention that?) and I had high hopes that it would be the final one (especially since it was so big). But there is a reason it is so big: it's three to four different stories meshed into one book. This book is not wholly about Karigan. In fact, I felt that she was overlooked for a lot of the book. Alton D'Yer, Lord Amberhill, Grandmother, Queen Estora and Captain Mapstone seemed to have far more adventures and significance in this story than Karigan does...until about the last fourth of the book. Then it mainly focuses on Karigan's adventures in Blackveil (which were fascinating and well-done, but felt a little too late). This book read more like a few different books mashed into one. I would have actually preferred to read several different books, each one focusing on one character, than the head-hopping that took place in this story.

And OF COURSE there is a cliff hanger. Which always makes me grind my teeth (especially since Ms. Britain takes a long time to write her books (like 2 or 3 years)).

Now, all of that sounds like I didn't like the book. I did. Blackveil was fascinating and I could see how Ms. Britain thought the head-hopping was necessary so that we could understand the significance of what was going on, I just hated that it sacrificed a meaningful connection with any one character.

Ms. Britain is an excellent storyteller, in my opinion. Her worlds are rich and magical and her characters are well-developed. (And only she could make hummingbirds FREAK YOU OUT.) I just think this book would have been stronger if it had been divided into two or three books so that each character could have more time in the spotlight.

Recommended: Yes, especially for fantasy buffs and lovers of epic quests.
Rating: Four out of five stars.

Monday Madness: Water-Friendly Writing Tools

2011-06-13T14:43:00.000-05:00

Most of my best story ideas come when I'm wet.

Okay, that sounded wrong.

Ahem. Rephrase: I get a lot of great story ideas when I'm doing mindless things like washing dishes or taking a shower. The variable that these mindless activities have in common is water. Water and writing do not go together. Soggy paper is not easy to write on. Ink runs. Computers fry. And taking the time to dry off wastes precious inspiration.

Which leaves me to believe that someone (i.e. someone who knows things about science and technology and inventions and stuff (not me)) should create a writer-friendly waterproof tool for recording ideas while otherwise soaked.

Think of the possibilities!

Mid-water gun fight, you discover the EXACT move you needed for your MC to sniper Bad Guy. Waterproof writer tool to the rescue! ('Cause you know your six-year-old cousin isn't going to stop squirting you just because you have a piece of paper in your hand.)

Your nightly shower serenade results in the perfect scene in chapter two, part three of your spy novel. And your husband stole your towel again. No worries! Just grab your waterproof iPad and type out a few sentences.

Inspiration strikes for overcoming obstacle No. 713 in WIP, but you're covered in water and flea shampoo and in the middle of giving your dog a bath. Waterproof writing tool to the rescue!

Seriously, someone needs to get working on this.

(Oh, there ARE bath paints and crayons, but they are WASHABLE, so what's the point?)

That Cobwebby Feeling

2011-06-01T16:18:00.002-05:00

My brain feels like it's full of cobwebs every time I sit down to write or edit lately. I hate that feeling, and I think I might have come down with a serious case of writer's block.

But here's the weird thing: I WANT to write. I have all these AWESOME ideas that keep popping into my head, practically begging me to write them, but I just . . .can't. Every time I sit down at the keyboard, I go blank. I thought maybe it was the keyboard's fault so I tried doing it the old fashioned way with a pen and paper. It sort of helped and then . . .meh.

I've been continually searching for a way to undo this cobwebby feeling, but haven't come across it yet. If you have any suggestions, feel free to share.

On a different note, I am looking for a couple people to read and review Masked Pleasures. All four stories. Including mine, "The Seer's Mask." If you're interested, please e-mail me and I will send you a free (FREE) reviewer's copy. The only stipulation is that you have to review it in a public way, preferably on Goodreads but a blog would work too. Also, just an FYI, but these are erotic stories (which means s.e.x.), so if you're--ahem--conservative, these might not be your thing.

E-mail me at bguthrie17ATyahooDOTcom.

Monday Madness: Nope, It Still Hurts

2011-05-16T16:38:00.000-05:00

I can honestly say these past couple weeks have been a huge stress fest. I've had family problems and financial problems and educational problems and then . . .

A rejection letter.

I should be used to these by now, right? But nope, it still hurts. It still makes that tiny voice I usually ignore scream, "YOU SUCK. HAHAHAHA! You thought you could write. Well (rude gesture), sucker!"

And I'm beginning to worry that voice is never going to go away. No matter how many (whimper) rejections I get, no matter how much I should be used to it, there's still a part of me that's crushed. One more of my little candles goes out. And those things are buggers to light (especially if you're afraid of matches, like me).

I have a little bottle of hand sanitizer hanging on my purse that has my astrological sign (Cancer) with a few words that describe that sign: Loving, Emotional, Dependable, Protective. Of course, Bath and Body Works totally scammed the $1.50 out of me just because those words resonated (I never use hand sanitizer; give me soap and water any day). And each time I see it, I think, "Yep, I'm totally like that." And I don't think that's going to change.

So what does hand sanitizer have to do with rejections? Let's refer to word number two: Emotional. I FEEL EVERYTHING. Sometimes too much. Replace that word with "Sensitive" and you've got me also. I take the most impersonal of things personally. And even though I don't blame the editor for not liking my story, I cannot help but be devastated.

Okay, let's add another word to that hand sanitizer bottle: Perfectionist.

I am an achiever, so when I don't achieve, it cuts deep. It frustrates me. Depresses me. Ticks me off. (Look, there's the emotional side again.) So then I have to go to the story, gut it, string it up, and whip it until it wails what's wrong. And then I leave it to bleed while I work on another story.

But here's the revelation: I'm always going to be like this. The rejections will always hurt, and I'm always going to go on some sort of perfectionist, emotional rampage trying to figure out what I did wrong. BUT I want it to hurt. I want to feel. You know why?

Because it means I care.

I care deeply for every story I write. It's never going to be about writing for money or for publication or even for an editor's pleasure; it's always going to be writing for the sake of satisfying a thirst to tell a story, to create, to share. And that's all that matters.

Book Review: Fall for Anything

2011-05-11T07:00:00.002-05:00

Courtney Summers skyrocketed to the top of my favorite authors' list with Cracked Up To Be and Some Girls Are. Her nitty-gritty, realistic approach toward a teenage girl's life is engrossing and captivating. So I was pretty sure Fall for Anything was going to knock my socks off.

Sadly, no socks went flying. Though it might have rolled them down a bit.

According to the book's blurb:

When Eddie Reeves’s father commits suicide her life is consumed by the nagging question of why? Why when he was a legendary photographer and a brilliant teacher? Why when he seemed to find inspiration in everything he saw? And, most important, why when he had a daughter who loved him more than anyone else in the world? When she meets Culler Evans, a former student of her father’s and a photographer himself, an instant and dangerous attraction begins. Culler seems to know more about her father than she does and could possibly hold the key to the mystery surrounding his death. But Eddie’s vulnerability has weakened her and Culler Evans is getting too close. Her need for the truth keeps her hanging on...but are some questions better left unanswered?

Seriously, it sounds great. But I think I psyched myself up for it a little too much. And when it was all said and done, I kept thinking "If I had written this book, this is what I would have done..." which is pretty dang snobby of me.

But, like Eddie, I wanted answers. And I wanted drama. Culler Evans has such potential to be a creeptastic creep, but it seems like Summers shies away from that at the very end. It's hard to elaborate without giving away the entire plot, but I fully expected Culler to be A) the answer to Eddie's questions or B) be the thing that finally breaks her. But he ended up doing neither. I wanted fireworks and all I got was fizzle. And, of course, (SPOILER) there is never really an answer why her father killed himself. Which, granted, is the way things can be in real life, but, call me crazy, if we spend an entire novel chasing for the answer, I expect to get one at the end. Even if it's not a pretty one. I want some sort of satisfaction. This story felt circular. It ends right where it started, without any significant changes to the main character or her motivations. It was frustrating.

And yet, I still liked it. It's very frustrating, circular, soul-crushing emptiness is just so RIGHT for the subject matter. Suicide is not easily explained or excused, and Summers was true to that idea to the end, leaving the reader just as confused and lost as Eddie. Just for that, I have to recommend this read.

(But I think I should stop reading books dealing with suicide, as they always tick me off.)

Rating: 4 stars (out of five)

Book Review: Dragonsong, Dragonsinger, Dragondrums

2011-05-04T07:00:00.001-05:00

Being a spec-fiction writer, I thought that it was pretty awful of me not to have read anything by Anne McCaffrey, so I searched for her name at my local library, picked a title and reserved it. The first title I reserved was Dragonsong. The blurb sold me. An outcast girl with fire lizard (dragon-like) friends? Yes, please! And I liked it. It was a pleasant little story set in an interesting world. And I liked it enough that I decided to finish the series and reserved the other two books, Dragonsinger and Dragondrums.

But the further I got into Dragonsinger, I started getting the inkling that something wasn't right. That there was something MISSING. And it wasn't until I forced myself to finish Dragondrums Sunday that I realized what it was:

There was no "all is lost" moment. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized how incredibly easy the characters had it. Just when you started thinking that MAYBE things were starting to go downhill, something happened to make their life invariably better. In real life, I would be more than happy. But in a book, it makes me bitter. Disappointed. And it leaves me with the feeling that nothing happened. Which isn't true; loads happened. Menolly goes from a Sea Holder's outcast daughter--punished for singing and writing music--to arguably the most talented Harper ever. Not to mention she has nine fire lizards that love her . . .and very powerful friends.

And then we move on from her to Piemur, her mischievous friend, and his misadventures. (Why, I want to know, do we not stick with the same character for the duration of the trilogy?) Piemur eavesdrops on important conversations, steals a fire lizard egg, and ends up in the less-friendly South where he escapes Thread (some sort of devouring death-ray) three times. Despite all this, I still felt as if the bigger story was taking place somewhere off page, which frustrated me to no end. What's the point of overhearing important conversations, confronting Oldtimers (dragonriders from another time), and being transported to a mostly hostile territory if nothing comes of it? Eh?

So, to sum it up, I think Ms. McCaffrey is too nice to her characters. At least in this series. But I also got the impression that maybe this was the fluff reading of the bigger Pern stories. And that's what all the hinting at a bigger (unresolved) conflict was about. But, really, it's just disappointing that she couldn't take that conflict and make her characters a bigger part of it.

Recommended: For fluff reading.
Rating (out of five stars): 3.5

Monday Madness: Killing Your Love Child

2011-05-02T16:04:00.001-05:00

I'm conducting a social experiment (secret: I like messing with people's minds sometimes) and it involves a status message on Facebook.

It says: Killing my love child.

Writers might smile and nod in understanding, but I'm pretty sure my family is going to pepper me with question marks and "WTH, I didn't know you had kids!" Or "Are your dogs okay?" Rest assured that no living, breathing person (or animal) was killed. Just some imaginary ones.

You see, I'm doing some housekeeping on DRAGON QUEEN. Mostly it involves getting rid of a lot of useless characters, who were there just to be there. They didn't have a purpose beyond making the MC look good, so, I took out the hatchet and started hacking away at them. Now I have gone from having about a bazillion secondary characters to only a million. I'm making progress. (I think I'll do the rest of them in with arsenic . . .they're starting to suspect me.)

I've been thinking about this massacre for a while, but it was only after I wrung a chapter through my critique group that I realized it was time to start sharpening the knives (er, pen) and finally do something about it. But killing a love child (or children, in this case) is pretty messy business. It required a lot of thinking and planning on my part. Who had to go? Who needed to stay? Which ones could be combined to make one character, instead of two or three? So, I got out my handy dandy notebook and made a list. Next to each character, I wrote their race (believe it or not, that's kind of important in this story--I'm talking fantasy here, too, so please don't pelt me with tomatoes), their personality traits, the reason for Jade wanting them to be her "advisors" and then I started knifing them in the ribs. (I'm really enjoying this murdering metaphor, if you couldn't tell.) I went from having eight advisors to five. Progress, yes? Then, of course, there were the dragons. Most of the dragons play important roles in the story and most of them have unique and well-developed personalities. The exception was the General, Gorn. He was just sort of there, hanging out, sharpening his claws, and bellowing orders. So, he got added to the hit list and I took his position, some of his traits, and slipped them into Tyar--who went from being a possible love interest (or at least lust interest) to being more of an older brother figure to Jade (to deal with some of the OMG everyone wants your MC issue), also it will make a certain scene that happens later in the book MUCH stronger, in my opinion.

Okay, I'm rambling here. But I just wanted to show you how I deal with my love child(ren). They're not as easy to do away with as you might think. Shrinking my character pool is actually taking some significant rewrites and cuts, but sometimes that's what you need to do to create a stronger (and less confusing) story.

But what about you? Any love children rotting in your basement?

Beta Reader vs. Critique Partner

2011-04-28T14:56:00.000-05:00

I've recently dived into the field of beta reader. I looked at this as a thrilling opportunity to read some highly polished work by authors wanting that finish spit-shine before sending their novel into the hell of Queryland. Apparently I should have specified that.

You see, I was under the impression that a critique partner comes before the beta reader. Critique partners are for the nitty-gritty basics of the novel. They help with technique, show vs. telling, passive vs. active, character quirks, plot pitfalls, etc. They, basically, help you learn how to write. (This has been my experience anyway. And, truthfully, I have become a MUCH better writer thanks to my critique group.)

Granted, joining a critique group is tough, yet it's a necessary step to becoming a better writer. We're often too kind to ourselves, or just blind to our flaws, and nothing shines a spotlight on them like a bunch of other writers. Receiving critiques can be one of the most soul-crushing things you've ever experienced (yes, I've had a few of those less than complimentary critiques), but without someone to highlight your errors, how are you ever going to grow from them? AND there will be times (more often than not, I've found) that you will actually have someone LIKE what you've written, and offer you suggestions on how you can make your good story, great.

There is also the sneaky benefit of giving critiques. Not because you've finally found your chance to bash that writer who hated your MC, but because when you critique other people's work, it's easier to see what DOESN'T work in writing, and then you can apply it to yours.

So, to sum it all up: A critique group/partner should be your first step with your newly fledged novel. THEN comes the beta reader.

The beta reader looks at the BIG PICTURE of the novel. They focus on character motivation, plot arc, themes, motifs, pace. Betas should not have to stumble over "weak" writing. You should have a good grasp on writing technique and an even stronger grasp on your voice before you submit your work to a beta.

But this is just how I look at it. What's your take?

Where's My Dang Rainbow?

2011-04-26T16:21:00.000-05:00

Have you heard about the flooding in Arkansas? Maybe? Well, I was in the thick of it.

I also live about a billion miles away from work (not even exaggerating) and we have to cross a moat (also known as a low-water bridge, but I like the sound of "moat") to get to our house. When the hubby drove me to work yesterday morning, the water in the moat was already high. High enough that I was leery about crossing it. But we made it. And like good little people, we went to work.

Then all hell breaks loose. The rain begins to POUR. The thunder growls. The lightning strikes. The streets outside were GUSHING water. And I was seriously FREAKING out. I work in a newsroom, and it's bad when reporters look happy. (Okay, not necessarily happy, but definitely excited.) The police scanner was going crazy with reports of roads closing and people needing to be rescued from their homes and vehicles. Hubby calls and says, "I'm coming to get you!" So I leave work an hour early.

Not early enough. My mother, who works out where we live, called to tell us to not even TRY to get home because she couldn't even leave work. The police had all the roads closed down. Even the back roads that we were pretty sure only drug dealers and redneck locals knew about were closed. Okay, not a problem. We'll just stay with my friend. Except we can't even get to her house because the Illinois River bridge on the main highway is UNDERWATER.

So we have to turn around. We end up getting a hotel room (there goes the money we'd been saving to get new tires) and spend the rest of the night flicking between watching the news and River Monsters Unhooked (yes, that was hubby's decision). Meanwhile, I'm fretting about our dogs and cat. The dogs were inside and we fed and watered them before we left, so we were pretty sure they would be okay. The cat, however, decided he wanted to be outside yesterday morning and wouldn't come when we called. So he got to brave the storm outside (we have a barn, which I'm sure is where he ended up staying). Nonetheless, I worried about my furry babies. To the point where hubby decided he would go check on them before he went to work because the waters had gone down and most of the roads had reopened.

My babies, thankfully, are fine. Even the cat, which hubby said was extremely happy to see him and wouldn't stop meowing until he'd gotten fed. Hubby decided to stay and repair what was left of our drive-way and move the boulders out of the moat with the tractor so we could actually get through.

Now the sun is out, but more rain is coming. Need I remind you, God, that you promised not to do in the world with floods again? Speaking of which, where's my dang rainbow?!

(Disclaimer: Some events have been dramatized, but, unfortunately, most of it wasn't.)

Selling My Services for a Good Cause

2011-04-19T10:46:00.001-05:00

I mentioned a few days ago that I was running in the Susan G. Komen for the Cure 5K. I also mentioned that I would like to raise $100 to donate to the foundation, 75% of which goes directly to local breast cancer education and prevention services. However, I know that in this economy everyone is struggling, and it's difficult to give which is why I would like to offer you something in return for a donation.

Donate $5 and I will critique the first 50 pages of your MS.

Donate $10 and I will draw/paint your MC (or any other character) and mail it to you. (Of course, you'll have to provide a description and also specify what you are looking for (action, pose, standing, etc.) To see examples of my artistic skill, go to my Deviant Art page.

Donate $50 and I will mail you my autographed copy of Nicholas Spark's The Lucky One. (I only have one copy, so whoever donates $50 first will get it.)

I consider myself a more-than-adequate critter and a decent artist (working in watercolor, pencil and acrylic) and will spend a considerable amount of time on each (hence, you'll get your money's worth).

To donate, go to my Susan G. Komen Profile Page and click "Donate to Brandi!"

Once you've made your donation, email me at bguthrie17(at)yahoo(dot)com and let me know what name you donated under and what service you're requesting. (Yes, if you donate $15 you can get both the critique and the character drawing OR three critiques.)

Thank you ahead of time!

Monday Madness: A Writer's Weird Dreams

2011-04-18T10:00:00.001-05:00

I have the blessing/curse of being a vivid dreamer, and last night I dreamed something so bizarre that I thought I would share it.

It started off with me and my sister (in real life, I don't have a sister) being left by our mother. Being the eldest (I am also the youngest in my family IRL) I was charged with the task of keeping my sister safe. There was some sort of natural disaster going on, an almost apocalyptic feel to it, and while the rain was pouring down and the lightning was shattering trees, my sister slipped out of my arms and disappeared.

The rest of the dream was the course of my life. I became fanatically obsessed with finding my sister, searching far out places and shopping centers with toys that came to life with the hope of finding her. I met odd characters along the way, some who promised to help me, others who tried to hinder me (mostly by killing me).

Towards the end of my dream, I finally found my sister. Except she was 32 and I was still only 16 or 17 (yeah, dreams don't make sense). AND she was Sandra Brown. Yes, Sandra Brown the writer. And when I hugged her and rejoiced that I finally found her, she just smiled at me and asked me what I was going to do next. Now that I'd found her--and she was doing just fine without me--my life's quest had been fulfilled. What did I have to live for now?

Nothing, I admitted. To which she gently suggested I end my life. In my dream, that sounded like a pretty good idea.

Does that freak you out as much as it does me?

Seriously, dreams are crazy, occasionally frightening, usually odd, and sometimes beautiful things. But I love the fact that I have ones that are so vivid because they are serious thought candy and can provide great inspiration for stories. So if you ever see a story about two sisters being separated in a post-apocalyptic world, you'll know where it came from.

5K Fever (And A Little About Writing)

2011-04-14T16:29:00.000-05:00

I signed up for my second 5K today--the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. It will be April 30 in Rogers, so if you're in the neighborhood and want to watch my face turn flame red (no joke) then drop by. (Also, it's for a good cause.)

I'm trying to raise $100 before the race, so, if you're interested in making a contribution (yes, I'm a donation junkie) go here: bit.ly/i1EIRo

Despite having a race under my belt, I'm a little nervous. My husband has agreed to run with me, and I know that he (and everyone else I know) will leave me in the dust. That's okay, I guess, but I can't help but want to keep up. I've told myself that as long as I meet my time of 34:20 at the previous 5K, I'm good. Heck, it would be GREAT if I could shave a minute or two off of it. I'm going to train like crazy over the next two weeks.

Okay, now for the writing stuff.

There was a discussion about how the more you learn about craft, the less you're able to ignore "bad" writing in books. Authors that you normally devoured lost their appeal. Errors leapt from the pages, the characters were flat, the plot static. And then you find that the book you loved two, three or five years ago isn't as spectacular as you remembered.

What do I say to this?

Woohoo!

Maybe it's because I'm an overzealous editor, but I think it proves to a writer just how far they've come when they can find flaws in their past favorites. Sure, it can be annoying and it sort of takes the joy out of reading at times, but here's where I want you to know a little secret: you'll find better books and better authors and once again you'll be that blissfully happy reader. You will just be a special kind of reader: a finnicky one.

As I used to say when I was more arrogant (man, I miss being arrogant): I only read books by authors who can write at least as well as I can. Despite the snootiness of that comment, it's true. If a book is below your own skill (or at least your knowledge of skill), then it's very difficult to make yourself read it. So, you see, you're not becoming a worse reader, you're becoming a better writer!

Write on!

For My Own Amusement

2011-04-11T14:03:00.000-05:00

And hopefully yours too.

As a romance writer, I can't help but sniff out some sexual tension between these two rogues. Do they know each other? Have they met before? If they did meet under less hostile circumstances, what would they do?

Ah, crap, now I want to go write another story.

Monday Madness: Best Title Ever (and 5K Results)

2011-04-11T12:05:00.000-05:00

Eternal Rider by Larissa Ione

A romance novel with this sort of title deserves five stars just for ingenuity. Hehe. What's he riding, I wonder?

And on a completely unrelated note (no riding involved), let me just share that I finished the Hogeye 5K in 34:20. My fastest time ever! I am seriously so proud of myself.

I finished 16th in my age group and 160th overall. (There were 200+ racers.) What's funny is that I'm apparently a mean-looking runner. Some coworkers were cheering me on and they said that I gave them a death glare. OMG! Did not mean to and totally don't know where that came from. I think it was more like I was concentrating so hard on just making it to the finish line that I didn't realize what expression I had on my face.

But 34:20! Squee!

Monday Madness: Not In the Mood

2011-04-04T11:23:00.000-05:00

I'm reintroducing Monday Madness, and while I'll certainly try to be helpful, more likely than not it will just be my inane ramblings about what I'm reading or writing at the moment. Enjoy!

I have book binges that totally depend on my mood. If I'm in the mood for something angsty, I'll usually go for YA. If I want an adventure, I'll find something in fantasy. If I want a love story, well, I go for romance, naturally.

Which brings me to a dilemma. What do you do when you're not in the mood?

I have Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher sitting on my coffee table right now. It's a library book, so that means I should get around to reading it soon (like, before it's due back). It's also supposed to be one of those books that will "change your world" so I've been really looking forward to reading it.

I'm just not in the mood. You see, I'm in a pretty good mood this week (mainly due to sunshine and reading Anne McCaffrey's Dragonsong, which was so good) and I'm reluctant to change that. And Thirteen Reasons Why is guaranteed to put me in a not-so-happy mood. I mean, it's about a girl's reasons for committing suicide. Not lighthearted in the least. And I'm one of those weird people who are easily influence by books, movie and music. A sad story, movie or song makes me sad. There's no getting around it. (And it really annoys my husband when I start moping over nothing.)

So, instead of reading the book I was supposed to read, I dug through my bookshelves and found Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, which I've read no less than six times. Lol.

I'm sure I'll be in the mood for a serious story soon, and probably force myself to read it just because I hate having to renew my library loans (and also because a less happy part of me really does want to read it) but just not today. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

What do you do when you're not in the mood? Do you move on or hunker down and read anyway? Please share!

I Think I'm Broken

2011-03-25T15:53:00.000-05:00

I've felt a little shifty lately (and, no, that's not a misspelling), and just can't focus. I wrote another short story, felt good about it, sent if off into submission-land, moved on. Poked and prodded at other projects, which just sort of twitched but wouldn't perform. Then I started scratching at rewrites and edits and got a little excited when they rolled over or begged, but the appeal quickly fled.

So, to sum it up to those of you who haven't given up on me after my long silences, I think I'm broken.

Granted, life has been BUSY and full of other things to focus on. I've been training to run a 5K and, yes, it's been emotionally, mentally and physically challenging. When I'm not actually training, I'm reading about training and shoes and run times and PRs (still have no clue what that stands for; practice runs?) and drooling over running gear that I could never justify buying ($40 for a pair of shorts? Haha). And all this fanaticism has just about drowned out that voice that tells me that it's about time I started writing again.

I feel distanced from my critique friends. I feel like I've missed too much and now I can't possibly catch up. I feel a little left in their dust, honestly. And while I am happy for the varied successes, I'm a bit overwhelmed. Just a few months ago, that was ME chattering about my latest WIP, characters, plots, offering critiques like they were going out of style. And then--I'll admit it--I received a lot of flack about some of my stories (not just in one critique group, either) and sort of got discouraged.

There, I said it. I am discouraged. And when I am discouraged it's difficult for me to be excited about a project, which means it's difficult for me to write it. If I lack faith in a story, it shows in the writing. So why bother?

So I briefly focused on other things. Things that had yet to be touched by that discouragement because, well, they were my "secret" stories. The ones that were too "mature" for my critique groups. While writing them, I regained some of that faith and confidence in myself. I thought that even if I couldn't write the traditional fantasy stories that I wanted, I could at least write about sex. (And I can do it pretty well, if I do say so myself.) But as much as I enjoy writing my naughty stories, they're not what really calls to me.

Honestly, it's like that Langston Hughes poem, "A Dream Deferred." I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for something to happen that rekindles that dream. But maybe it's too shriveled up at this point.

It's not like I haven't tried. I HAVE. I've even posted new strictly fantasy stories up for critique and received encouraging reviews, but that spark is still gone. I don't know how to get it back.

My 5K is April 16. After that I'm going to really dig in and focus on my writing. This dream may deferred, but I'm not giving up on it.

Is There An Echo in Here?

2011-03-18T12:29:00.000-05:00

Oops. I realize I've been absent from the blogosphere recently. Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't. I almost didn't notice because I've been so busy.

I complete a short story and sent it off for possible publication.

I started and then stopped and then restarted A Darkness Forged in Fire. I like it, despite not devouring it like I normally do with books that I like. I think I'm a bit burnt out.

But the real reason I've been absent is because it's SPRING. It's, like, warm outside. It's pretty. There are FLOWERS! And I can go outside barefoot again! And start a garden! And SQUEE!

So, sorry for my absence, but I just need more SUNSHINE!

Book Review: Wintergirls

2011-03-09T07:00:00.001-06:00

Laurie Halse Anderson tackles another tough topic in Wintergirls: Anorexia. But, as if that wasn't enough, she adds self-mutilation to the mix.

According to the book's blurb:

Lia and Cassie were best friends, wintergirls frozen in matchstick bodies. But now Cassie is dead. Lia's mother is busy saving other people's lives. Her father is away on business. Her step-mother is clueless. And the voice inside Lia's head keeps telling her to remain in control, stay strong, lose more, weigh less. If she keeps on going this way—thin, thinner, thinnest—maybe she'll disappear altogether.

I went into this book expecting to be disturbed, but never so poetically. If the image of anorexia and Lia's life doesn't stick with you, how the author paints it will. I haven't been so powerfully moved by the tragic beauty of a book since reading The Sky is Everywhere. While I enjoyed Anderson's Speak, Wintergirls rocked the foundations of my world. If I had to describe it in a word it would be: unsettling.

I've never suffered from an eating disorder, but I think that at some point in our lives, every girl considers it. We all feel that pressure to conform the stereotypical image of beauty, and hope that by being thin it might give us an ounce of self-worth. It's that very relatable aspect of this story that makes it so potent.

Yet Wintergirls goes a step further and shows the glittering, bloody edges of what happens when a girl goes too far for her perfect body.

But Anderson does it perfectly. We see everything from Lia's perspective and never through the author's lens. We see how RIGHT it is for Lia to do what she is doing, all the while recoiling because we know it's wrong. Lia is one of those girls whom you like despite what she's doing to herself. She's endearing. She tries so hard, but can't help but feel out of control. Her only way to have control is to starve and cut herself.

This book will make you wince, cry, shudder. But you won't be able to stop reading. And even when you're through, you won't be able to stop thinking about it.

Recommended: Absolutely.
Rating (out of five stars): 5 -- A perfect book, in my opinion.

Book Review: The Iron King

2011-03-02T07:00:00.002-06:00

Have you ever read one of those books that you never want to end, it's so good? The Iron King by Julie Kagawa was like that for me. I literally could not put it down. Every scene made me shiver with delight. I devoured this book and enjoyed it so much that I immediately put it on my TO BUY list.

According to the book's blurb:

Meghan Chase has a secret destiny—one she could never have imagined…

Something has always felt slightly off in Meghan's life, ever since her father disappeared before her eyes when she was six. She has never quite fit in at school…or at home.

When a dark stranger begins watching her from afar, and her prankster best friend becomes strangely protective of her, Meghan senses that everything she's known is about to change.

But she could never have guessed the truth—that she is the daughter of a mythical faery king and is a pawn in a deadly war. Now Meghan will learn just how far she'll go to save someone she cares about, to stop a mysterious evil no faery creature dare face…and to find love with a young prince who might rather see her dead than let her touch his icy heart.

Now, there are quite a few YA Paranormals out there involving faeries. Wicked Lovely and Paranormalcy come to mind. And while I enjoyed their different take on faeries for different reasons, neither one made my toes curl or make me exclaim, "YES, this is EXACTLY what faeries should be like!" And not just the faeries themselves, but their world. Kagawa's faerie realm has the same dark magic as Anne Bishop's dreamscapes in Sebastian or Belladonna (both highly recommended books). It's like entering a place that you've never been before, but some part of you is able to recognize it. Places where good and evil aren't so easily distinguished, and it's so beautifully wrought that you feel disappointed when you come back to the real world. In a couple words: deliciously dark.

My favorite character was, of course, Robbie. I have a soft spot for tricksters and goofballs, but Kagawa crafts him perfectly, showing glimpses of more than just a carefree "friend." And all the other characters, even the minor ones, hold endless surprises.

Awesome setting and great characters make this book darn near perfect. Highly recommended!

Gah, I have to go buy all these books now!

Rating (out of five stars): 5!

Write Like You Mean It

2011-02-28T12:13:00.000-06:00

Note: I totally borrowed the inspiration for this post from today's post over at The Sharp Angle. (Haha, I read your blogs more than you might think, Lydia!)

I have a one track mind sometimes and only enough passion in my body for a limited number of things. Namely, my husband, my pets, my family and then one other thing. Lately, it's been running.

I run at least three times a week. Without fail. Compared to some runners, that's probably laughable, but to me it's a big commitment. It takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, and not a little sweat to pound out 3 miles three times a week. And, yet, I love it.

I used to feel that way about writing.

Some part of me still does. I still have ideas flitting around in this skull of mine, but no NEED to write it. I used to write almost every day. I had to or I felt like I would go crazy. Not all the words were gems, but at least they were out on paper. At least I made the effort, took the time, and sweated out the words. I've decided that I need to do that again.

Lydia talked about how she gets into her writing groove because she writes every day. It's like a habit for her, so she doesn't have to struggle so long with getting the feel for her story or rediscovering her voice. And I think that is my problem. I've been out of practice so long that writing is HARD. It takes me forever to get a steady groove going and then by the time I do, I've lost interest because I'm so frustrated with how WRONG everything sounds.

But today I'm going to start writing like I mean it. If I can dedicate three hours a week to running, I can at least do that for writing, right? So, I'm going to write for at least 30 minutes Monday through Saturday. Hopefully if I start setting aside time to write, my groove will be easier to get into.

I've started a short story that I'm constantly thinking about, so I'll start with that. I would like to submit it to Circlet Press for one of their anthologies, and the deadline is March 15. Maybe if I write for 30 minutes six times a week, I'll get it done, get it edited and get it submitted. It would be nice to feel like a writer again. :)

This Means I'm Officially a Writer! Right?

2011-02-24T14:05:00.000-06:00

So I've been fanatically checking Circlet Press's website each and every day every so often to see when the ebook with my story is coming out.

Today was the day! (Or at least the day I found it. Honestly, I get distracted by all the other stuff on the website.)

Presenting Masked Pleasures!

Yours for only $3.99. Bargain, right? Especially since my literary genius is nestled within. The other stories are pretty spectacular, too. So, if you would like some stimulation (har har) then skip on over to Circlet Press and buy a copy.

All the stories within were based on the photo featured on the cover. Pretty cool, right?

Book Review: The Shifter

2011-02-23T07:00:00.010-06:00

The Shifter by Janice Hardy is another one of those books that I've had on my to-read list for a while. It was worth the wait. Hardy creates a world and a character that immediately draw us in--one that reminds me of a weird mix between the Everglades, the Amazon and Venice. Her islands are richly detailed, and she even provides us with a map at the beginning of the story to help us keep everything straight (though I never found the need to refer to it).

And the characters themselves and the situations they are in are pretty fascinating which helped move the solid plot along at a fairly swift pace.

According to the book's blurb:

Nya is an orphan struggling for survival in a city crippled by war. She is also a Taker—with her touch, she can heal injuries, pulling pain from another person into her own body. But unlike her sister, Tali, and the other Takers who become Healers' League apprentices, Nya's skill is flawed: She can't push that pain into pynvium, the enchanted metal used to store it. All she can do is shift it into another person, a dangerous skill that she must keep hidden from forces occupying her city. If discovered, she'd be used as a human weapon against her own people.

Rumors of another war make Nya's life harder, forcing her to take desperate risks just to find work and food. She pushes her luck too far and exposes her secret to a pain merchant eager to use her shifting ability for his own sinister purposes. At first Nya refuses, but when Tali and other League Healers mysteriously disappear, she's faced with some difficult choices. As her father used to say, principles are a bargain at any price; but how many will Nya have to sell to get Tali back alive?

I found the plot thrilling, the setting satisfying and the Taking intriguing, but I never really connected with Nya as a character. I'm not sure if it's the author's fault or mine here, but I found Nya to be all action, not much reflection. True, not all characters are soul-searchers, but I felt like she was too concerned with doing for others to think about herself. Oh, sure, she has moments where she considers taking the "bad" guys up on their notorious offers, but as a reader you know that she won't because she is the "good" guy. But even KNOWING this, I would have liked for the author to make me second-guess myself and the character as well. It's extremely hard to do with first person POV, so I can understand that of all the lovely, glowing things about this book, this was the one to sort of fall flat. However, I just couldn't get over how convenient things became for Nya. She has to make some hard decisions, maybe even do some bad things, but she still comes out of it without nary a scrape. Call me cynical, but I wanted to see Nya make a really tough choice and, for once, not come out so intact.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I didn't LIKE Nya. I did. I rooted for her and I wanted her to win. I just wanted her to suffer more. Yeah, twisted of me. :P

But the book, like I said, has a lot going for it. The world-building is excellent. The culture was well-described but not so much that it seemed like an info-dump. And I still cannot get over how fascinating the Taking and healing is. I look forward to reading the second in this series and, who knows, maybe I'll finally connect with Nya.

Recommended: Yes, for those looking for an interesting world and a fast plot.

Rating (out of five stars): 4

I Eat Monsters for Breakfast

2011-02-17T11:35:00.002-06:00

I'm delicious.

Literally.

Have you ever had a Green Monster? I made mine using Oh She Glows recipe. It's awesome. Yes, I know it sounds disgustingly healthy (and it is) but it's pretty dang scrumptious. I used crunchy peanut butter in mine (because that's what I have) but other than that the recipe is the same.

But all this slurping of monsters got me thinking about monsters in writing. I'll admit, creating monsters and villains is one of my favorite pastimes. I let my imagination go wild, oftentimes even illustrating my creations on paper. I had a lot of fun drawing some of the characters in DRAGON QUEEN, for sure.

What's difficult, however, is making a monster that hasn't been done before. One that is familiar enough to be recognized, but unique enough to be original (and fitting to the story).

Take Twilight's vampires for example (yes, I did go there). Vampires have been done and done again. They all have something in common: they drink blood. Variations ensue from there. Some are soulless. Some are evil. Some are ugly (I really liked how Evie in Paranormalcy could see what they really looked like--rotting corpses). Some are beautiful. Some are friendly towards humans (even to the point of spawning half-human half-vamp babies) and some look at humans merely as take-out. But sometimes you have to make a vamp sparkle to make your story sparkle. (Har har.) Admit it, even if you haven't read the books or seen the movies, chances are you've still heard about Meyers' sparkling vampires. Love it, hate it--it's memorable.

Tangent: I just realized that none of the bad vamps are caught "sparkling." Why is that I wonder? Because Ms. Meyers didn't want to connect evil with beautiful? I smell a missed opportunity for some depth there. Okay, yeah, depth wasn't the point of any of the books.

But back to what I was exploring: It's not just monsters that need your extra attention. Villains, too, need to be more than just the epitome of evil. They need to have motivations. They need to have desires. Sometimes, they even need to believe that they are the ones who are good. (Nothing is creepier than a bad guy who thinks he's the hero, truly.)

Because I'm nice (and busy eating monsters) here are some links to articles on how to create villains and what makes a good/bad one. Very cool. Very helpful. Enjoy!

How Not to Create a Villain

Make the Villain the Hero

Cardboard Cutouts Make Rotten Villains (I found this one especially interesting!)

Book Review: Speak

2011-02-16T06:04:00.000-06:00

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson has become one of those notorious novels that you either love or loathe. Since it was so hyped up, I expected to be in the latter category, but there's a reason this story was a finalist for the National Book Award. It's powerful. Anderson doesn't waste time with pretty words or purple prose. We get it straight, realistic, right from the mouth of the 14-year-old girl living it.

According to the book's blurb:

Since the beginning of the school year, high school freshman Melinda has found that it's been getting harder and harder for her to speak out loud: "My throat is always sore, my lips raw.... Every time I try to talk to my parents or a teacher, I sputter or freeze.... It's like I have some kind of spastic laryngitis." What could have caused Melinda to suddenly fall mute? Could it be due to the fact that no one at school is speaking to her because she called the cops and got everyone busted at the seniors' big end-of-summer party? Or maybe it's because her parents' only form of communication is Post-It notes written on their way out the door to their nine-to-whenever jobs. While Melinda is bothered by these things, deep down she knows the real reason why she's been struck mute...

I confess, I already knew what traumatic event the MC, Melinda, went through before I read the book. But it made me more intrigued. It was one of those sensitive subjects that usually is overdone or underdone. To get it just right is difficult and, some would say, impossible. I think Ms. Anderson nailed it.

Melinda comes across as tormented by what happened, but I found that reasonable and not overly indulgent (as some people have argued). I liked how Ms. Anderson entwined her inability to voice her protests during the traumatic event with her declining willingness to speak, and (just to show you how skilled a writer Ms. Anderson is) Melinda is also given the chance to regain her voice in the perfect way.

The book made me hurt, wince, cry. Especially in the scene where Melinda faints in biology. It was so powerful. Wrenching. That scene, more than any other, pulled my heart out of my throat and crushed it.

I can understand why this is becoming recommended reading for teenagers.

Rating (out of five stars): 4
Recommended read: Most definitely. For victims of sexual assault as well as for people who think they "get" what it's like to be sexually assaulted.

What the H-E-Double Hockey sticks?

2011-02-15T15:43:00.000-06:00

It's been a weird past couple months. I haven't seriously written since November. I managed to write about 3,000 words on Last of the Elves since then, but nothing new. Nothing fresh. Everything is sort of stagnating.

Not sure why.

I have been revising Dragon Queen like it's no body's business. It's getting so much stronger. So much richer. I'm starting to believe that it might actually be publishable soon. OMG. Then I just have to find an agent/editor who thinks the same thing.

With all this (successful) revising I shouldn't be so upset that I haven't cranked out anything new recently. But I am. I don't feel like a writer when there's nothing new to spark my interest. To surmount this lackluster obstacle, I tried to write another erotica. It came out stilted and awkward even though I thought my idea behind the story was awesome. I'm trying to pin down what has kept me from writing and I think it's because I'm putting too much pressure on myself. I want to be a great writer. Not just a good one (and god forbid a mediocre one). So I won't just let myself write. Every rough draft has to be stellar, and when it's coming out as less than, well, I give up. Kind of defeats the purpose, right?

I can see myself doing it and yet I can't stop it. Sigh.

I think it's time to break out Write or Die again. I need to just write. Get words down. Not worry if they stink more than cat poo. And a short story sounds like a pretty good idea.

Just Kiss Already Blogfest

2011-02-14T16:01:00.000-06:00

I found this Just Kiss Already Blogfest , literally, a few minutes ago and decided to join in. Sounds like fun! And I loves me a good kiss. So, here's my entry. This is from my soon-to-be-on-submission fantasy novel, The Dragon Queen.

A little background: Jade, a self-professed dragon lover, has just become betrothed to the dragonslayer, Drake. She's afraid of him, doesn't like him, and yet cannot escape her marriage. This scene takes place just a few hours after the marriage contract has been signed.

I didn’t understand the way he acted around me, or the way I reacted to him. I looked up into his warm, honeyed eyes. The resulting flash of heat trembled through me, turning my insides to liquid. And, quite suddenly, the fear diminished into nothing more than wariness. That was better. I could live with wariness.

“Jade.” His voice was a husky murmur.

I knew what he wanted, and I waited. Waited for the fear to return. But there was nothing. Just the twinge of anticipation. The mumbled warning to be cautious.

He pressed closer to me. Our bodies brushed and, even through the material of my dress, I felt seared. With the gentlest touch, he tipped my head back.

“Jade.” My name sounded like a prayer and a curse all at once, tumbling from his lips. His head lowered and I could feel his breath on my mouth.

“Drake,” I sighed. And desire swept me away. The moment his lips touched mine, I was lost, drunk, delirious. My lips softened beneath his, parted. His tongue swept in to taste my mouth. It was just the lightest caress, but it turned my bones to water. And I clung to him, allowing him his sinful dance, wanting to join in but unsure of the tempo of the music.

“Jade,” he whispered against my lips. “Beautiful, beautiful Jade.”

I think I might have kissed him back then if I’d had the chance, but we were torn apart by a condescending titter.

Love is a Rifle

2011-02-14T15:29:00.000-06:00

I'm trying to embrace the quirkiness that is my life. Usually, I try to bury my redneck roots under a mountain of books and education and refinement. I enjoy red wine and dark chocolate and intellectual discussions. I also enjoy a cold beer, crass jokes, and walking around barefoot.

I am also a burgeoning romance writer. I've choked on this for a long time. I didn't WANT to be a romance writer. Sure, I like to read romance, but I thought it wasn't "serious" or "literary" enough to be worth the effort. It's "fluff" and I didn't want to write "fluff."

Yet I couldn't stop myself.

The same thing goes for my redneck roots. I try to ignore them as best as I can, but they still break the soil and trip me up. It doesn't help that I married a redneck either who NEVER LETS ME FORGET where I came from.

So, what does this blend of redneck heritage and romance writing have to do with a rifle? Just that when it comes to real love, you can't make this stuff up . . .and it's pretty dang hard to write a romance that rings true.

My darling husband and I had agreed that this V-day was going to be low-key because we're still playing catch-up from all of our wedding expenses. Except yesterday he comes home with a card, two chocolate bars, and a rifle.

Yes, a rifle.

Nothing says "I love you" better, does it?

Nope, mine doesn't look like this. I wish.

Hubby: Look what I got you, darling! Isn't it just beautiful? And you can kill almost EVERYTHING with it. Even an elk! We should go elk hunting. [He strokes the stock like it's a kitten.]

Me: Oh . . .thanks, hun. That was . . .so sweet and thoughtful of you. I've always wanted to kill an elk. [Mutters] Just never realized it until now, I guess. [Takes the gun] Wow, it's . . .heavy. [mutters] And is probably going to knock me on my arse the first time I shoot it. Fun!

The refined, educated, snobby part of me wants to bury the entire gift and the conversation that came with it under a rock and pretend that, instead, he brought me a dozen of roses. Instead, I decided to embrace the gift (and the warped sense of romance that brought it to me) and repay the favor.

So I'm bringing home a bottle of cabernet sauvignon and a dozen roses for my husband. I'm sure he'll love them.

Try writing a romance more realistic than that!

Book Review: Some Girls Are

2011-02-09T06:00:00.001-06:00

Once I find an author who rocks my socks off, I tend to pick up all their books and devour them like a pint of Cherry Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream. That's what led me to Courtney Summers' Some Girls Are. I read Cracked Up To Be and LOVED it. It was powerful, it was unique, it was so utterly YA and yet completely NOT what most YA delivers (a cheesy romance that would never last IRL). Summers' stories are about girls trying to find themselves in the midst of inner and outward turmoil. Discovering the best and worst facets of their personality and, ultimately, growing up.

But there are still boys. Of course there are boys. What teenage girl can live without a boy, right? But Summers' romance is like the chocolate drizzle on a sumptuous sundae (okay, I want ice cream now). It's not all about the lusty moans and starry eyes (if at all). Summers' romance is--OMG--REALISTIC.

Realistic romance! What a concept!

According to the book's blurb:

Climbing to the top of the social ladder is hard--falling from it is even harder. Regina Afton used to be a member of the Fearsome Fivesome, an all-girl clique both feared and revered by the students at Hallowell High... until vicious rumors about her and her best friend's boyfriend start going around. Now Regina's been "frozen out" and her ex-best friends are out for revenge. If Regina was guilty, it would be one thing, but the rumors are far from the terrifying truth and the bullying is getting more intense by the day. She takes solace in the company of Michael Hayden, a misfit with a tragic past who she herself used to bully. Friendship doesn't come easily for these onetime enemies, and as Regina works hard to make amends for her past, she realizes Michael could be more than just a friend... if threats from the Fearsome Foursome don't break them both first.

Since I'm a character junkie, this book was totally right for me. Regina is so REAL. I started off not liking her, not feeling sorry for her, but just sort of pitying her. But one thing Summers does well is flesh out her characters. No one (not even the antagonists) are shallow, superficial or one-dimensional. No one is wholly evil or wholly good. It's like--say it with me--REAL LIFE.

The one thing that kept me from giving this book five stars was the ending. It almost seemed too easy. But I've spent a lot of time thinking about it and now I'm not sure if it was as easy as I thought or if it, too, was just realistic. After all, some things (even feuds) just sort of lose steam after a while, right? But, bloodthirsty wench that I am, I wanted a few more cat-fights before things settled. Sigh.

Rating (out of five stars): 4.5
Recommended: Yes. Please, please, please read this if, like me, you're sick of emo vamps, brawny werewolves, sexy faeries and CONTRIVED LOVE TRIANGLES. Here's a dose of real life for you.

I Live in the South for a Reason . . .

2011-02-07T15:48:00.000-06:00

. . . And it's not for the snow.

Normally, I like snow. I think it's beautiful. Pure. It reminds me of fairy tales, princesses locked in ice castles and little fairies dancing on snowflakes. But then I grew up and, well, when you work in the news field, your work doesn't halt just because a foot of snow decided to drop on your doorstep. Bleh.

But what's really ticking me off is that I've been busy planning a fundraiser for a sick coworker and the snow keeps messing with my plans. I had to reschedule it because there was no way I was driving to work in the dark on ice-covered roads in order to get everything set up for our breakfast benefit. So, it's supposed to be this Thursday. So what's on the way? You guessed it! More snow!

Sigh.

But there is good news! Because of the snow, now I don't have to go to Missouri for my cousin's wedding this weekend. Hehe. Now, before you go wagging your fingers at me, let me say that I could not only NOT afford to go (but was going to anyway) but I'm not fond of this cousin and was only going because I love my aunt and uncle (who came to my wedding, just them, not the cousin). That's it.

So today I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with snow. Loving it, because it got me out of going to Missouri and hating it because it's messing with my fundraising plans. Grr.

Anyways, I apologize for being scarce hereabouts. It's like every time I get on here my brain turns to mush and I just start drooling all over the keyboard. This blog, really, has presented its own case of writer's block. Meh.

I guess I could tell you what I'm doing tonight. I'm baking cookies. Chocolate chip cookies and no-bake cookies! Yummy! They're for tomorrow's bake sale for said sick employee. All I have to do is not eat them all. Hmm, I think I need to buy some gum to keep my mouth occupied.

As for my writing . . . you know how it goes. Life gets in the way sometimes. But I've been smoothing over Dragon Queen's rough edges, so it should be ready for querying soon. Gulp. Now I just have to grow a pair before I send then. Lol.

Book Review: The Devil Wears Plaid

2011-01-26T06:00:00.000-06:00

I'll admit, only my love for Teresa Medeiros stories enabled me to pick up this book. The title, The Devil Wears Plaid, makes me cringe. It's cheesy and unoriginal and, really, Medeiros could do so much better.

But, I'm a diehard fan, so I tried to ignore it the best I could and get into the story.

According to the book's blurb:

Emmaline Marlowe is about to wed the extremely powerful laird of the Hepburn clan to save her father from debtor’s prison when ruffian Jamie Sinclair bursts into the abbey on a magnificent black horse and abducts her in one strong swoop. Though he is Hepburn’s sworn enemy, Emma’s mysterious captor is everything her bridegroom is not—handsome, virile, dangerous . . . and a perilous temptation for her yearning heart. Jamie expects Emma to be some milksop English miss, not a fiery, defiant beauty whose irresistible charms will tempt him at every turn. But he cannot allow either one of them to forget he is her enemy and she his pawn in the deadly Highland feud between the clans. So why does he still want her so badly for himself? Stealing his enemy’s bride was simple, but can he claim her innocence without losing his heart?

Okay, the blurb made me cringe a little, too. And the first chapter made me cringe again. (Not a very promising start.) The first part was pretty good and a bit funny, but as soon as the male love interest entered, I ended up rolling my eyes every other sentence. Yes, it's a romance, but would a girl who thinks she's about to be killed, kidnapped, raped, maimed etc? really notice her potential kidnapper's brawny forearms to such detail? It made the whole scene (which would have been a good one) feel forced and the attraction more than contrived. It started to feel as if someone was beating me over the head and screaming, "This is romance novel! Get it? Get it?"

But I had faith in Ms. Medeiros, so I kept reading.

The story got better, if a bit predictable (but, let's face it, I don't go into historical romance without EXPECTING the predictable). As more of Jamie's (totally coincidence that I'm reading two books set in the Scotland of old with male MCs by the name of Jamie, I swear) motives are revealed, the story picks up speed and a little more depth and soon I became just another reader along for the ride.

The ending, and Emma, pleasantly surprised me and left me with the happy afterglow (um, yeah) of a good romance novel. It's an enjoyable fluff read, and definitely not one of Medeiros' best. Still, it gave me what it promised.

Rating (out of five stars): 3
Recommended read? For those looking for a story with entertainment value, but not necessarily one that delivers anything exceptional or thought-provoking.

Curb Your Enthusiasm

2011-01-20T14:52:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty sure all my passion/enthusiasm for writing got sucked up by my fitness routine. My writing has flagged. My stories garner only my passing interest, but start talking to me about diet and exercise and OMG I could gab for HOURS.

Now, before you accuse me of buying into the New Year's Resolution Hype, I've been pretty health-conscious for the past few months (pre-wedding, even). It drives my darling husband a bit crazy (he cannot, for the life of him, understand why I want to try to kill myself with P90X every night...and he's a Marine). But, thinking on it, I guess I've always been shy when it comes to talking about what I'm working on writing-wise. I have my moments when I've gotten super excited and can't SHUT UP but most of the time I'm pretty reserved. I'm still that little girl on the outskirts of the playground hoping someone notices me and wants to play, but too afraid to go ask someone myself.

Yeah, I know it's silly.

Also, I have several short stories out on submission and I'm afraid to blab about them because I don't know if I'd be breaking some obscure (or not so obscure) publishing rule. So, I'm zipping it.

But I guess I could tell you what stories I have out...maybe? Mmkay. Well, I have a zombie story on submission (craps, forgot to check on that one's status!), a sci-fi story out on submission and whole pile of rejections.

But the funny thing about those rejections? They don't sting so much for short stories. Not sure why. Maybe because they are more like my stepchildren. Sure, I care for them, coddle them, guide them through their teenage angst, but I'm more than willing to boot them out of the house when they come of age. My novels, however, are my babies. It breaks my heart to think of someone NOT loving them (as they obviously did NOT love FURY (another story for another time)). So, I'll admit I'm a bit timid and not sure if I'm altogether ready for another novel submission. And I have realized that, if anything, you NEED to be SURE that your baby (novel) is ready to fly.

I need to distance myself from them a bit before I can throw them from the nest, I guess.

So I apologize if I'm coming across as lets than enthusiastic about writing. I'm still enthusiastic, I'm just being a bit more secretive about it.

That Song in My Head

2011-01-19T10:15:00.001-06:00

Have you seen Disney's Princess and the Frog? If not, you should. It's not only super cute with excellent animation, but has an awesome storyline with the some of the more complex characters I've seen from Disney.

And now I introduce you to the song that's been stuck in my head this morning:

Dig a little deeper!

Book Review: Positively

2011-01-19T06:00:00.000-06:00

I was positive I was going to love Positively by Courtney Shiemel (har har) but, sadly, it wasn't love. I'm not sure it was even like. If anything, it was a very gentle form of tolerance.

According to the book's blurb:

Since the day Emerson Pressman and her mother were diagnosed as HIV positive, nothing has been the same. When her mother dies of AIDS, Emmy has to go live with the father and stepmother she barely knows, and she feels more alone than ever. Now she has to take pills by herself, and there is no one left who understands what it's like to be afraid every time she has a cold. But when her father decides to send her to Camp Positive, a camp for HIV-positive children, Emmy begins to realize that she's not alone after all, and that sometimes, opening up to other people can make all the difference in the world.

Sounds great, right? I thought so, too. And when Lydia Sharp gave it such a great review, I knew it HAD to be good. And therein lied the problem: I hyped myself up over it so much, that it was doomed to disappoint me.

Am I saying that Positively is a bad book? Absolutely not! It's a very good book and a very interesting tale. I've never known anyone with AIDS, so I enjoyed the personal glimpse into Emmy's life, I enjoyed learning what it was like to be her. I did not, however, enjoy her personality.

I think it's because I've read too many of them lately: the girl whom no one understands feeling sorry for herself. Granted, Emmy has a lot more reason to feel sorry for herself, and a heck of a lot better reason to feel different from everyone else, but it got to the point where I just wanted to shake her and tell her to wake up. Which makes me think that maybe this book wasn't written for me because A) I'm a bit too jaded B) The MC was too young for me to connect with (though I greatly appreciated how much she described stuff as "stupid" (I recall doing the same thing when I was a tween)) and C) Her time moping seemed too long and her "growth" period too short. I wanted more growing/understanding, less time whining.

I had a hard time connecting to any of the characters, to be honest. I liked Whitney, I guess, and I was honestly sad (spoiler alert) when she got sick and had to leave camp. But, other than that, I just felt like I was watching everything from a distance. Emmy wouldn't let any of her family/friends in, and at times I felt she wouldn't let the reader in either.

However, the writing was excellent, stark and poetic. Overall, a worthwhile read.

Rating (out of five stars): 3.5
Recommended: Yes. Especially if you're like me and have never had any personal experience with HIV/AIDS.

Book Review: OUTLANDER, My Thoughts So Far

2011-01-17T10:35:00.001-06:00

So, I started reading Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. Usually I save my thoughts on a book until after I read the entire thing, but this book is A) extremely long and B) thought provoking so I thought I would share my provoked thoughts, as it were.

Outlander is labeled a historical romance. Well, I'm on page 200-something and its not really sending me romantic vibes. If anything, I feel like I'm involved in a very interesting history lesson about Scotland 1945 and Scotland 1743. Since I love history and Scotland, this doesn't bother me too much, but I'm also an avid romance reader and was looking forward to some good mushiness, so I'm a bit disappointed by the lack thereof. (And no, it's not just because we get the curtain drawn over the sex scenes either.) But at the same time that I'm disappointed, I'm also a bit relieved that it doesn't follow the same constraints as some of the more recent romances I've read (sexual tension from page one, obvious ending from page one and a half). This could be because A) the MC is already married to a likable (if somewhat dull, in my opinion) man B) she's not really looking for romance C) she's OLDER than the "love interest" (I use that term loosely) in 1743. So, it's pretty unconventional. And even when she marries the handsome, scarred and very sweet Jamie, it's not so much about lust, attraction or even affection as it is about keeping Claire (the MC) safe.

And maybe I'm just too used to reading YA and its overwrought emotions, but I would like to see a bit more into Claire's head (and that's really odd considering the story is told from first person POV). She has SEX with her 1743-husband, for goodness sake, therefore CHEATING on her 1945-husband, and merely thinks, "I don't want to bring another man's memory into a marriage bed..." even if she's already married to the other man? Really? And the other thing: she hasn't given up on the possibility of getting back to her own time, so it's not like she's resigned herself to a life in 1743. But she doesn't feel the slightest bit guilty or disgusted at herself? And maybe I could excuse her actions if she'd been blinded by lust and had been wanting Jamie since she met him, but she mostly thinks of him as a "nice kid" and even tries to play matchmaker between him and another girl. So, I'm just having a hard time buying into this whole scenario. I get that Jamie and Claire are friends and that friendship is continuing to grow, but not all friends marry and then have sex with each other (especially when one is already married (though, to Jamie's credit, he doesn't know that)). So, it's just weird to me and I'm having a hard time buying into the little romance that Ms. Gabaldon is building here. If you're going to be unfaithful to your husband (Claire had been married to Frank for 8 years, separated by the war for most of that time, and still never screwed around, so she shouldn't be too twisted up about being away from him for a month, in my opinion), you'd better have some emotional benefit. Not just "Oh, he's going to keep me safe...that makes me horny."

Maybe I'm missing something. After all, Gabaldon is a subtle author. Maybe I missed all those lustful glances, attributing them to concern or something, and should have seen this easy slide into adultery coming like a runaway horse. But...it's really bugging me that Claire is so...secretive about what she really feels. She's all action, not a lot of introspection, and in a situation like this, I'm going to need some introspection or else she's going to come across as a wishy-washy adulteress (times two, now).

I'm still reading. I haven't given up hope. Everyone raves about this book, and not usually for the historical factor...so I'll keep at it and maybe at the end I'll rave, too. Crossing fingers.

Charlie Brown Teacher-Speak

2011-01-12T16:14:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure what to say anymore, and each time I try to gather my thoughts, they flit away like little sparks of light that mock me for trying to catch them in the first place. So I apologize if this blog post sounds like the Charlie Brown's teacher: wanhnwanh wanh wanh wahnwahn.

I want to tell you guys a lot of things. Like about my New Year's resolutions and how I made them but they don't really amount to much.

How I keep riding the roller-coaster of "Believe in Yourself/Give Up."

How I'm on Week 4 of P90X and am somewhere between really, really loving it and despairing that it will never be over with.

How I'm really sick and tired of reading YA and am reconsidering trying to WRITE it.

How sometimes I really, really hate other writers who are better than me. And yet, how I am also really, really happy for their success.

I want to tell you how happy I am in my marriage and grateful that I am with someone who loves me so much, and whom I love.

I want to tell you about all my personal issues, but I won't. Hopefully EVER.

I want to talk to you about my writing with passion again, but anymore it's like I'm scared to.

I want to write poetry, but I can't. It all comes out wahnwahn wahn wahn wahnwahn.

How I want to run until I throw up, and then run some more in the hopes that it will make me feel like I'm going SOMEWHERE.

But I can't elaborate. Every time I try, it ends up muddled and confused.

How more often than not, I feel like a YA character and that really ticks me off.

It's all Charlie Brown teacher-speak, though! Gah! Frustrating!

(BONUS) Book Review: Matched

2011-01-10T13:43:00.001-06:00

(All right, I goofed. This was supposed to be for the Wednesday after next, but well, I'm frozen and un-caffeinated, so here you go. Happy Unbirthday!)

Matched by Ally Condie is getting a reputation for being either one of those books you either love or love to hate. Which is why I found it weird that I only ended up "in like" with the book.

According to the book's blurb:

Cassia has always trusted the Society to make the right choices for her: what to read, what to watch, what to believe. So when Xander's face appears on-screen at her Matching ceremony, Cassia knows with complete certainty that he is her ideal mate . . . until she sees Ky Markham's face flash for an instant before the screen fades to black.

The Society tells her it's a glitch, a rare malfunction, and that she should focus on the happy life she's destined to lead with Xander. But Cassia can't stop thinking about Ky, and as they slowly fall in love, Cassia begins to doubt the Society's infallibility and is faced with an impossible choice: between Xander and Ky, between the only life she's known and a path that no one else has dared to follow.

Maybe it's my post-Twilight caution distancing me. After all, Matched was a really, really good read. There was emotion. There was tension. There was a love story that was actually believable. But there was also the fact that I wanted MORE to happen. More physical action, that is. I also wanted MORE of a revelation on Cassia's part because when she realizes (SPOILER ALERT) that the Society has been using her in an experiment, she still fails to wonder (at least enough to satisfy me) why she was more interested in Ky than Xander. Which left me a bit disappointed. Not enough to jerk me away from the story or completely ruin the Ky-Cassia love story, but enough to make me take a step back.

Ms. Condie, however, can write. Her prose is fresh, unadorned, and direct, and puts me eerily in mind of the Society she is depicting. She crafted a page-turner, making this book a hard one to put down...but (maybe it's my busy lifestyle) I didn't find it too difficult to leave down once it got there. I don't think this is Ms. Condie's fault. It's probably mine because I'm just a little fed-up with the love triangle thing in YA. Maybe I'm putting too much judgement on something that A) obviously works and B) is every teenage girl's fantasy (okay, every FEMALE's fantasy to some extent), but I would like a different wrench for the plot if you know what I'm talking about. It's not that I HATE them, it's just that they are so abundant nowadays that they all read the same. (So, whoever can direct me to a love triangle-free story...I will love you to the ends of the earth.)

Despite the love-triangle dilemma, I liked all the characters. Xander was well-rounded and interesting in spite of just being "the match." Ky reminded me a little too much of a guy I knew in high school, which is pretty cool because rarely do characters remind me of actual PEOPLE, and even Cassia surpassed the pretty-girl-caught-in-the-middle stereotype by a long mile.

I loved Ms. Condie's incorporation of poetry ("Do Not Go Gentle" by Dylan Thomas is one of my favorite poems) and the arc of the story. But it still just felt like the first act. It ended with me wanting more. And, bloodthirsty wench that I am, I wanted a physical fight.

I'll hold my breath for Crossed, which I hope gives me a battle.

Rating (out of five stars): 4.5 stars
Recommended: Yep!

Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful

2011-01-07T10:51:00.000-06:00

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I just wanted to say that.

No, the real purpose of this post is to let everyone know that I'm WRITING again! Like, writing toward a goal. Writing with the intention (or at least delusion) to get published.

I'm not too proud to admit that I gave up on myself for a while there. Not sure why. It might have been author envy, a realigning of the stars, or just a funk, but from about November through now I kept telling myself, "You're good, but not good enough. So why bother?"

Why bother? Because I LOVE to write, okay! And I would really love to share my stories with other people.

AND it's not like I'm entering 2011 without hope of publication. My short story, The Seer's Mask, will be published soon through Circlet Press. (Yay!) So I sucked it up, smacked my dreary self around, and began submitting short stories for publication again.

But I hadn't really WROTE anything until just this past week. I'd piddled around in some WIPs, but hadn't really added anything new. And then I got the juice back. My muse returned from her Bahama vacation, showing off her tan, but ready to get down to BUSINESS. So, I'm back. Look out 2011, you're my year for writing!

Book Review: Wicked Lovely

2011-01-05T06:00:00.000-06:00

Wicked Lovely by by Melissa Marr is a prime example of a book that has it all. Another good cover. Another good concept. Another good author.

Except, for some reason, I couldn't really get "into" it, you know?

According to the book's blurb:

All teenagers have problems, but few of them can match those of Aislinn, who has the power to see faeries. Quite understandably, she wishes that she could share her friends' obliviousness and tries hard to avoid these invisible intruders. But one faery in particular refuses to leave her alone. Keenan the Summer King is convinced beyond all reasoning that Aislinn is the queen he has been seeking for nine centuries. What's a 21st-century girl to do when she's stalked by a suitor nobody else can see? A debut fantasy romance for the ages; superlative summer read.

It didn't sing to me. Probably because almost right off the bat, I didn't like any of the characters. And maybe that was the point. They're pretty "human" with their flaws and failings, but in the end it seemed like they were just so flawed that I didn't have any interest in them. I didn't root for any of them. Honestly, it took me a long while into the book before I even cared if they lived or died.

The one exception was Donia. But the story wasn't really about her. It was more about Aislinn and Keenan and Seth. I remember thinking when I read the first scene from her POV "Why isn't this book about her?" She's the interesting one. She's the one who's suffered. Who's given up everything to be with someone who may or may not have loved her.

Instead it was about Aislinn, AKA the Summer Queen. Which, really, is never in any doubt. Even the characters find it out a little too easily, in my opinion. So, that tension, that plot, sort of fell flat. And, call me bloodthirsty, but the villain was terminated just a little too easily.

What DID appeal to me was the gritty, urbanity of the story. I've read quite a few urban fantasies, and the only one that surpasses this one in its "real-world" hardcore appeal is the Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs. Very seldom do we see the girls like Aislinn taking center stage in a YA. It's either the cruel popular girl or the artistic outcast. Aislinn falls somewhere solidly in-between, reminding me of my own status in high school. I liked the setting: the railroad tracks, the concrete, the secret "green" places. I liked that the main love interest had multiple piercings. I liked that there was a realistic (though not flagrant) view of sex (and foreplay). I liked how very "teenage" Aislinn was. Spontaneous, strong-willed, passionate, but not always making the best decisions.

So, you see, there were a lot of good things about this book, but it just wasn't my cup of tea.

Monday Madness: How to Tell if You're a Writer

2011-01-03T12:32:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes a writer, and if I even qualify as one anymore. I feel like I've been slacking. Sure, I've never been one of those industrious people who write every day. I don't have word goals or scene goals or anything like that. I'm not even published yet (though that will be remedied soon). I don't feel like I'm vastly talented or even "better" than any other writer. I still feel like I need to improve. Like I have a lot to learn. I don't put my work out there as much as I used to. Not for critique and not for potential publication. So what gives me the right to call myself a writer?

What gives me the right to give advice to other writers, either? Yes, I have a bachelor's degree in creative writing, but I'm not expert. Heck, I don't even know what I'm doing most of the time. I don't have structures or guidelines that I follow. I just sit down and write. What comes, comes. And sometimes it doesn't.

My imagination isn't the best. Sometimes I come up with ideas that are good, but I still get that niggling feeling that no idea I have is good enough or original enough. Sometimes I think that all that comes from me is garbage.

But I still call myself a writer.

I'm a writer because I have to write. What I write might not be publishable. It might not be original or amazing or even legible. But, still, I have to write it. I have to create characters. I have to tell their stories. Because if I don't I'm halfway convinced that they'll bore out of my skull themselves.

I write because I like to pretend. I like to build and breathe life into places that never were, but could be. I write because if I don't, there's this strange, urgent pressure that builds inside of me until I think I might explode.

If you're a writer, you probably know what I'm talking about. But even if you don't, that doesn't mean you're not a writer...that just means you're a different kind. As long as you feel it in your soul, beneath your skin, as long as you have ONE story to tell--you're a writer.

You might not be a bestseller novelist. You might not be published at all. You might have just finished the rough draft of your first story, but you're still a writer. You might not have written three words since November, but you're still a writer.

It's not a profession. It's a calling. And people will mock you (kindly or cruelly) for daring to write, but you will write all the same. Because you have no other option.

That's how you know you're a writer.

Book Review: Firelight

2010-12-29T06:00:00.001-06:00

Firelight by Sophie Jordan is another book I've long anticipated reading. The cover is awesome (there's been a slew of awesome covers lately) and just saying the word "dragons" pulls me in. What can I say? I'm a sucker for fire and scales.

According to the book's blurb:
Marked as special at an early age, Jacinda knows her every move is watched. But she longs for freedom to make her own choices. When she breaks the most sacred tenet among her kind, she nearly pays with her life. Until a beautiful stranger saves her. A stranger who was sent to hunt those like her. For Jacinda is a draki--a descendant of dragons whose greatest defense is her secret ability to shift into human form.
Forced to flee into the mortal world with her family, Jacinda struggles to adapt to her new surroundings. The only bright light is Will. Gorgeous, elusive Will who stirs her inner draki to life. Although she is irresistibly drawn to him, Jacinda knows Will's dark secret: He and his family are hunters. She should avoid him at all costs. But her inner draki is slowly slipping away--if it dies she will be left as a human forever. She'll do anything to prevent that. Even if it means getting closer to her most dangerous enemy.

Mythical powers and breathtaking romance ignite in this story of a girl who defies all expectations and whose love crosses an ancient divide.

The story flies off the page in the beginning. The imagery is brilliant, the plot interesting. But, unfortunately, it's not a strong bird (or draki, take your pick). Halfway through, things became repetitive. The same inner turmoil is repeated and re-explored page after page. Jacinda's half-hearted vows to "stay away from Will. No, be with him" weren't intriguing enough to keep the story soaring. And Jacinda's indecisiveness drove me crazy. Are teenagers indecisive? Yes. But you can only take so much of it in a book before indecisiveness becomes drudgery.

In the entire story, I don't think Jacinda EVER makes a permanent choice. It's like she's afraid to take the leap. In real life, that's fine. In a story that needs an arc, it's not. In the end, this felt like just the first act (and a long-drawn one at that) to a much more complicated story. And given its cliffhanger ending (seriously, I've never been so miffed at an ending), I'm sure there's more to come.

It was a well-told story, but it stalled out and didn't go anywhere for the longest time. (Yes, the kissing scenes were stimulating, but I'm not that easy.) Which is disappointing, because this story brims with potential. I hope that the second book delivers a more satisfying story, and, for the love of God, Jacinda actually makes a decision--and not let them be made for her.

Recommended: Yes. It is, after all, a pretty intriguing tale and worth the read. I would recommend waiting until the sequel is out, however, so you would have a more complete story (let us hope).
Rating: (out of five stars) 3.95

Monday Madness: Revisiting Old Friends

2010-12-27T13:54:00.000-06:00

I've been taking advantage of my library card lately and so I've been reading a lot of books. Some good. Some not. And it's the ones that are "not" that's made me really crave the familiar...and the knowledge that the book I'm going to read is a good one.

So, this week I'm going to dust off some of my hardbacks and read some old friends. And hopefully it will remind me why I write. For the beautiful, magical words and worlds, the lively characters, the amazing dialogue. THAT is why I read. That is why I love literature.

But unfortunately, I've read quite a few books lately that have left me with nothing more than a "meh" feeling. I hate that feeling. I'd rather loathe a book than feel nothing for it. Loathing still means that the author did something RIGHT somewhere along the way (at least right enough for it to twang one of my nerves). When I come across a book that doesn't do either for me, it just makes me sad.

Disclaimer: Yes, I know that not every book was intended for whatever audience I'm grouped in. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a book lacking that certain something that just makes it breathe. That something that makes me FEEL something. Rather than annoyance. I'm annoyed too much for that to be a book's fault.

So I'll be pulling some of my old friends off the shelf these next few weeks (until I once again get the thirst for fresh ink). I'm going to bury my nose in those pages and remind myself that there are books out there that sing.

How about you? Ever need to take a breather from those shiny new releases and pick up your favorite, dog-earred paperback? Which one is it? Please share!

Book Review: The Forest of Hands and Teeth

2010-12-22T06:00:00.001-06:00

The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan is the perfect example of a gripping, evocative title. Just by reading it, you know that there are going to be some exceptional things going on in the story, maybe even some fantastical things.

But for it's magical title, this story isn't a fantasy. It's post-apocalyptic. Right there with The Hunger Games and I Am Legend. Sure, it has an old world feel to it (the people in it could have stepped right out of the Middle Ages, their life is so rudimentary) but it felt realistic. After all, if most of the population suddenly turned into mindless, flesh-craving zombies, I don't think the modern conveniences would last long.

It's been a while since I've read a story that's made my heart pound and my palms sweat, forcing me to turn the page to find out what happens next, sometimes even tempting me to skip ahead to make sure that all ends well.... But this story is anything but a happy one. I think it's the darkest thing I've read all year. Dark in the way that it disturbs you. Dark in the way that you're not sure what to think about the characters or their dreams...whether you might prefer it if they die. Dark in the way that it keeps you up at night thinking about it.

Despite all the heart-pounding and page-turning and mind-commandeering, I'm not sure if I liked this book. The MC is a teenager and probably one of the most accurately portrayed teens ever. She made me remember why I hated being a teenager and why I hated other teenagers. She's self-absorbed. Foolish. Impulsive. Wishy-washy. Yes, she has her moments of sorrow and regret, but she doesn't LEARN from them. She still continues on her quest like she never felt those things at all. She never GROWS. Well, I guess she might when (spoiler alert) Travis dies and she finally decides that she would rather have him than her dream of going to the ocean. But too late. Pointless. And guess what? She still decides to go for the ocean (for him, she says...but she's not fooling me). She sacrifices EVERYONE for her dream to see the ocean, even though she has been told that it's just like the forest. Even though she's been told that there is nowhere free of the Unconsecrated (zombies). Towards the end of the story, I couldn't understand her motivations at all. She was like a zealot: full of passion and fire for her dream, but little else. I couldn't understand why two guys, both decent sorts, would love this stupid, petty girl. It made me want to kick all of them in the head.

But that's teenagers for you, I guess. Idiot ones.

Ms. Ryan can write an adrenaline-inducing scene like no one I've read, but sometimes I felt like she jumped from scene to scene with no logical transition, leaving me confused and annoyed. And her character arcs leave a lot to be desired. Probably the only person who grows in this story is Jed, and he gets killed for it. Since I read more for the characters than the story, I can't say that I liked this story. But I didn't NOT like it. It had many redeemable qualities, and Ms. Ryan certainly knows how to craft a page-turner. I just wish she could craft an MC I could cheer for. Apparently her other books in this series follow different girls, so I have hope.

Recommended: Yes, for the thrill junkies. No, for the character lovers (or yes if you like characters who annoy the heck out of you).
Rating (out of five stars): 3.75

Monday Madness: What's in a Name?

2010-12-20T16:38:00.000-06:00

SURPRISE! Another Monday Madness post! And I thought they'd keeled over.

But this post was actually inspired by something mundane and probably not too stimulating that happened over the weekend.

I've had a kitten (orange and white bengal, once with blue eyes, now with gold (which I deduced his eyes changed when he signed his soul away to the devil)) for a couple months now. When I got the kitten, I was assured that it was a female and so promptly named it Buttercup.

Well, it's not female. And while I have no issue in calling a tom "Buttercup," my husband insisted on calling him "Butthead" instead. Since I didn't want our kitten answering to Butthead, I decided that I would come up with a better name for him. Eventually.

You see, just like when I'm musing on names for characters in my stories, I'm usually struck by the perfect name and it just sticks. Most of the time it's coincidence (or a strange streak of luck) that when I begin researching the name it has connotations that I like.

But sometimes I do the opposite: research and then name. This was especially true for my short-story-turned-novel "One Thousand." I wanted the mermaid's name to have dark connotations, so I went to babynameworld.com and typed "dark" in Meaning Search. I saw Achlys, liked the sound of it, and the murdering mermaid was born.

More often than not, however, I go with what my muse whispers. Those names are usually stronger, more genuine. They are the names the characters give themselves. Even Drake's name in DRAGON QUEEN was one of those names that just struck me. He and I snickered at the irony of a dragonslayer named Drake until he revealed to me that he had a BIG secret. And then it was even more ironic. When names reveal themselves, usually magical and intriguing things happen in my stories. It's probably part of me being a pantser. I'm more inspired when I just let things unfold as they will.

And then, sometimes, I get lucky enough that my muse (or subconscious) knows what it's doing and I don't have to do a lot of cleaning up to make things coincide later.

So what about you? Do you put a lot of thought into your names or is it something that just pops into your head?

(P.S. My muse whispered to me that the kitten's new name would be Simba, because he thinks he's the king of the jungle...or at least the Christmas tree.)

Book Review: Brightly Woven

2010-12-15T06:00:00.001-06:00

This book's cover stopped me in my tracks. You know that saying: Never judge a book by its cover? Well, it's bull. I've found that a good cover is a very good indication of a good book. But I read the blurb first. And then a paragraph or two of the first page before I'm sold.

I was sold. Brightly Woven by Alexandra Bracken is just as magnificent, as colorful, as astounding as the cover. For someone who's been reading a lot of YA urban fantasy, or just strictly YA, this was a refreshing read. Giving me new expectations. New hopes. New scenery. And, perhaps the best part of all, completely NEW characters.

According to the book's blurb:
Just as the rains come after ten long, dry years, a young wizard, Wayland North, appears, to whisk Sydelle Mirabil away from her desert village. North needs an assistant, and Sydelle is eager to see the country--and to join him on his quest to stop the war that surely will destroy her home. But North has secrets--about himself, about why he chose Sydelle, about his real reasons for the journey. What does he want from her? And why does North's sworn enemy seem fascinated by Sydelle himself?

Through a journey that spans a country, magic and hard-won romance are woven together with precision and brilliant design by a first-time novelist.

I'll admit I've become a little fed up with angsty teenagers and this was a perfect escape. Sixteen-year-old Sydelle has her problems and insecurities, sure, but she doesn't spend the whole book feeling sorry for herself. (OMG, no one understands me!) She's a go-getter. She's one of those people who makes her own destiny. One of the better female characters I've read in fantasy in a long time.

And the romance? It made me chuckle. A romance built on a foundation of mistrust and disdain, it kept me entertained throughout the book. But what's more, it felt REAL. It was like watching two people in real life fall in love. Never forced. Never contrived. Just real. This book made me smile, made me cheer. I just really, really enjoyed it.

And the world? The magic? Awesome. I loved the concept of wizards using talismans to manifest their power (North's colorful cloaks, the bad guy's string around his dagger). It felt like a breath of fresh air. And coming from a first-time novelist? So envious. I really can't give Ms. Bracken enough acclaim.

Monday Madness: The "AHA!" Moment

2010-12-13T06:00:00.000-06:00

Surprise! I actually thought of something. So I have to be really quick and write it down before I forget...

Wait, what was I saying?

Kidding.

I've been fiddling with some of the projects that have been gathering dust on my thumb drive. Trying, really, to decide which one I want to focus on. I know that DQ needs most of my attention (stop procrastinating, Brandi, just get it to the querying stage! Mmkay?) but I want to be WRITING on something.

So I picked up ONE THOUSAND again. For those of you new to this blog (or just need a refresher), ONE THOUSAND is a story about a murderous mermaid in ancient Greece who ends up being captured by a sailor out for revenge. (She killed his brother.) I have some really great ideas for this story, but, the thing is, it takes a LOT of research. I've been spending way too much time surfing the internet, trying to find relevant information on ancient Greece and customs and all that. So much time, in fact, that I haven't really WRITTEN anything. (I've even despaired that I won't be able to write this story until I actually GO to Greece.)

I've been so worried about getting things historically accurate (even though there are mermaids involved) that my muse has been oppressed. But then I had the "Aha!" moment.

I always seem to struggle with switching back and forth between two people's POV (I think it's the romance writer in me) and, with Elpis (the sailor) I've been struggling because ancient Greece is HIS world. So nothing is new or interesting to him. He takes everything for granted. And I'm afraid that he'll come off as more of an information outlet than a character. So, I was thinking that instead I should tell the whole story through Achlys' (the mermaid) eyes. Then everything will be new. Everything will be strange and wonderful and I don't think I would have to worry so much about getting all the terminology right. Plus, it's Achlys' story. And while I will miss digging around in Elpis' head, I think it would be much more interesting (for me and the reader) to see him completely through Achlys' POV. A challenge, yes, but it's made me excited for the story again. Woohoo!

I love those "Aha" moments. They bring the spark back, don't you think? What about you, had any Aha moments lately? And what did you glean from it?

Book Review: Beautiful Darkness

2010-12-08T06:00:00.005-06:00

Beautiful Darkness by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl is the second of the Caster Chronicles about Ethan Wate, an average sixteen-year-old boy from the small Southern town, Gatlin, S.C., who falls in love with a supernatural Caster girl, Lena.

According to the book's blurb:

Ethan Wate used to think of Gatlin, the small Southern town he had always called home, as a place where nothing ever changed. Then he met mysterious newcomer Lena Duchannes, who revealed a secret world that had been hidden in plain sight all along. A Gatlin that harbored ancient secrets beneath its moss-covered oaks and cracked sidewalks. A Gatlin where a curse has marked Lena's family of powerful Supernaturals for generations. A Gatlin where impossible, magical, life-altering events happen.
Sometimes life-ending.
Together they can face anything Gatlin throws at them, but after suffering a tragic loss, Lena starts to pull away, keeping secrets that test their relationship. And now that Ethan's eyes have been opened to the darker side of Gatlin, there's no going back. Haunted by strange visions only he can see, Ethan is pulled deeper into his town's tangled history and finds himself caught up in the dangerous network of underground passageways endlessly crisscrossing the South, where nothing is as it seems.

I really enjoyed Beautiful Creatures and this book held up to the standards its predecessor set. Actually, it went deeper, darker. With many twists and turns. The world that Ms. Garcia and Ms. Stohl builds is truly amazing and three-dimensional. Characters were constantly surprising me, and in ways that stayed away from feeling contrived (which is always a bonus). Though Ethan's dilemma got me thinking (spoiler alert). If he were a girl and thought the way he was thinking about Lena (if Lena were a boy), as in: I'll give up everything up for her. My dreams are no longer important, yadda yadda. I would have thrown the book down in disgust. It disturbed me a little bit. I hate the "ideal love" where complete sacrifice is necessary (reminds me a bit too much of Twilight and Romeo & Juliet). And it got to the point where I was literally asking WHY he even wanted to be with Lena when she's treating him like dirt. But he starts asking himself that, too. He even is tempted by/interested in another girl. So, redeemed. But, still, it's an interesting question. And since it's a love story, we know that Ethan and Lena are going to live up happily ever after (I hope I didn't spoil that for you) but my irritations were allayed a little bit by how difficult and imperfect that happily ever after is achieved. So, kudos to the authors.

The ending was a cliffhanger of the best sort, making me just want to pull my hair out and scream, "OMG, what happens next?!"

And Ridley? The most awesome minor character I've read in a while. She's almost more interesting than the MCs. Almost.

Recommended? Yes. For those who would like a more realistic view of teenage love and dark, deep magic places.

Rating (out of five stars): 4.25

Monday Madness: Overcoming the E-mail Obsession

2010-12-06T06:00:00.001-06:00

If you've ever submitted any of your stories (be it for a magazine, an agent, or a contest) you've probably experience the E-mail Obsession at one point.

This involves:

Checking your e-mail every 3 minutes or so.

Having a new heart attack when you have any kind of new message.

Get disappointed when its yet another spam for Viagra. (WTF? I'm not even a GUY!)

Get even more disappointed when there's nothing new.

Check "Sent" messages to make sure you sent it to the right person.

Count the days your submission has been out.

Go to Duotrope.com and check average response times.

Refresh e-mail again. Disappointed again.

Tell yourself you're not going to check e-mail for the rest of the day.

Resist for five minutes. Check again.

Go to submission website and fret over the guidelines. Yes, you did it right.

Refresh e-mail.

I am happy to say that I have finally overcome the e-mail obsession. Granted, I don't have any queries out for my novels, but I DO have a couple of short stories out on submission. Going on two months. Gah.

But I've discovered a little secret that prevents me from overloading Yahoo with all my refreshes. Forgetting about it. Acting like you don't care. Moving on to other things. Yes, it works. Amazingly well, actually.

Now, I still check my e-mail once a day (just in case) but that's my limit. Why waste the time fretting over when an e-mail is going to arrive (and what it will say) instead of moving on to another project? Distraction is key, my friend. Yes, indeed.

Now, anyone need the hookup on discounted Viagra?

Stretched Thin

2010-12-03T16:01:00.000-06:00

I've always been a bit socially awkward. I say the wrong things a lot. Laugh at unfunny things. Don't make enough eye contact...or too much. My jokes flop. I try really, REALLY hard to be a person's best friend, but I usually fail. Because I try TOO hard, as my mother always says.

Well, I feel like I'm trying too hard to be helpful and insightful and provide you with interesting tidbits on Monday Madness. The truth is I feel like Monday Madness is flopping more than flipping. Everything I say (or, more accurately, try to say) comes out a little stale. A little lifeless. A little awkward. So, next Monday will be the last regularly scheduled Monday Madness. It might make an occasional occurrence in the future when I can actually THINK of something interesting.

However, I do have recommendations for helpful blogs.

The Sharp Angle. Lydia Sharp always has interesting things to say and I'm learning something every day from her. And when her husband, Joe, pops in you can usually get a unique perspective on things (as well as a grin-inducing post title).

Don't pet me, I'm writing. Tawna Fenske always has an amusing anecdote about writing or her experience as a writer. She's a lot of fun to follow!

The Other Side of the Story. Janice Hardy, author of The Shifter and Blue Fire, is always sharing helpful information on character development, plotting and writing in general.

I will continue to post book reviews on Wednesdays. Luckily I'm about two weeks ahead on that. Woohoo. I hope you're enjoying reading them, because I'm enjoying writing them. :)

Hopefully with less pressure on my brain to come up with something brilliant over the weekend for Monday Madness, I can start writing on my stories again. Maybe even some poetry.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Do you like my 69?

2010-12-02T11:03:00.000-06:00

Buahaha. Yes, I have a dirty mind. That's probably a given seeing as my first published work will be erotica. (More on that later.)

Anyway, over at The Sharp Angle, Lydia was discussing the idea that you should buy a novel based on its page 69. That should reveal the heart of the novel's style and situation. Well, she said it better than I ever could, so go check it out.

However, I had to see if my page 69 had any merit. So I thought I'd share and get your opinions. Are they interesting? Would you "buy" it?

Here's Page 69 from LAST OF THE ELVES, my WIP:

“Yes, I know just how busy you’ve been. But tell me, boy, has it done any good?”

“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. “There was this one—a girl—who I thought would be different. But…” He squeezed her hand. “She’s like all the others.”

She studied him, her hazel eyes—his father’s eyes—seeing more than he would like. But that had always been her gift. A witch by birth, she harnessed the powers of light, truth and beauty, and could always see through the darkness. “She’s special to you.”

“No.” He shook his head. “No.”

Ollie laughed. “Oh, Lial. You were never a good liar. You take after your father’s side of the family too much.” She released his hand and reached for a box beneath the counter. Constructed of polished wood, it did not appear to need the intricate lock clasping the lid. Ollie withdrew a key from her blouse and opened it.

“Hold out your hand,” she said. He did and she placed something smooth and warm in his palm. She curled his fingers around it. “This was your mother’s. She wanted you to have it. For your special woman, she said.”

“I don’t—“

“Shh. Just take it. I’m afraid if I don’t give it to you now, I never will.”

His hand clenched. “Auntie…”

She laughed. “Don’t be sad. I am the fortunate one, Lial. I’m nearly a century old, ancient for a human. It shall be like going to bed after a long, hard day.”

“You’re only ten years older than me.”

“But you’re not human.”

His mouth thinned. “No need to remind me.”

And here's page 69 from DRAGON QUEEN, which I will be querying for soon:

“You’re right, of course,” he interrupted. “We’ll have a feast once she establishes her seat.”

“My seat? I’m going to have a seat?” I squeaked.

“Of course,” the female replied, smiling her gentle smile again. It was such a contrast to her fearsome features that it unsettled more than soothed me.

“Every ruler has a seat,” the male said.

“But . . .I don’t even know how to rule.” Panic crept in again, scratching at my voice and pulling me toward hysteria. I focused on breathing, trying to regain control.

Amusement lit his black eyes. “Do not worry, my Queen, we shall teach you all that you need to know.”

“And what am I supposed to bring to this?”

“Your self,” he answered. “That is greater than any weapon.”

His answer did not stifle my panic, but fed it. It was a bloated thing now, lodging in my throat until I could barely breathe.

His mate must have sensed this, for she abruptly said, “My name is Vahra. This is my consort, Kale. We are the leaders of the Council. The leaders of the Nerolytes.”

“The Nerolytes?”

“It means, “Against the dark.” It is what the Kelsten Skala call us.”

“So the Kelsten Skala are the prominent power?”

She shrugged. “They would claim that, yes. But the Council is an ancient dragon tradition. We have been here far longer than the Kelsten Skala, and we still hold power. Despite being forced to meet in secret for some centuries now.”

Book Review: The DUFF

2010-12-01T06:00:00.001-06:00

When I first saw the title of The DUFF by Kody Keplinger, I laughed. I think every girl has felt like the Duff (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) at one point or the other. That alone was enough to intrigue me. And then the book's blurb reassured me that this was a book worth reading:

Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn't think she's the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She's also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her "the Duff," she throws her Coke in his face.
But things aren't so great at home right now, and Bianca is desperate for a distraction. She ends up kissing Wesley. Worse, she likes it. Eager for escape, Bianca throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with him.
Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out Wesley isn't such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she's falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.

I admit, I have a softness for hate-turning-to-love relationships, so I thought this book would be right up my alley. But now, uh, I don't know. In fact, I feel like I have a love-hate relationship with this book.

I loved the situation the MC is in. Every girl can relate to being a Duff, or at least feeling like one. Every girl knows that sleazy man-whore whom she is attracted to despite herself (even if she won't admit it) and every girl has issues at home. The set-up felt pretty dang real to me. Even the way Bianca deals felt real to me (if something I could never see myself or anyone I know doing).

Bianca as a character was interesting and dynamic. I liked her little oddities (like finding folding clothes relaxing) and liked that she also had the tendency to keep her emotions bottled up (something I can relate to). But, for all that, I'm not sure if I really liked HER. In some books, that's okay, but in this book I should have been on the MC's side, and I was for the most part, but there were so many things she did that I disagreed with that at times I just wanted to smack her and say, "Really?"

Wesley, at the end, made me smile. I liked how he grew and we got to see the true guy underneath all his BS. It gives me hope for all a-holes out there.

BUT, the author almost lost me when Wesley tells Bianca, to her face, that she is the DUFF. It just seemed so unrealistic to me. The whole reason why he's talking to her is to come off as the nice, sensitive guy so he can sleep with her friends (he says so) so WHY would he admit that? That's just stupid. Creeps are creeps and ones with his reputation would be a little smoother than that. Now, if it had ended up just being a play for Bianca, i.e., to get her attention even if it was negative attention, I could see why he would say it. But that's never suggested. Which left me disappointed and feeling like it was all contrived. Bleh.

And I think that's what REALLY bothered me about this book. For all the difficult situations and obstacles Bianca faces, everything resolves a bit too nicely. Everyone is a bit too honest, a bit too willing to change and make everything right. And the story ends so neatly. Wrapped in a pink, shiny bow. Cherry Coke all around!

And that, to me, felt contrived.

I'm not saying that the book was completely unreadable. There were moments when I was so wrapped up in the story that I didn't care how easy the resolutions seemed. I was just happy that the characters were happy. So, all-in-all, I had the exact same attitude toward this book as Bianca does towards Wesley. I'm pretty sure I don't like it, yet I can't bring myself to say I hate it because of all its redeeming qualities.

Recommended: Partly yes, for an easy, semi-emotional read. Partly no for its "too-neat" ending.

Rating (out of five stars): 3

Monday Madness: Are You a Winner?

2010-11-29T10:22:00.000-06:00

Hello, fellow NaNo-ers!

How's the writing going? I know some of you are super motivated and have already surpassed the 50,000 word goal. Others (like me, ahem) are still flagging. I regret to say that I probably won't "win" NaNoWriMo this year. I've only got about 40,000 words and though I MIGHT be able to write 10,000 words in the next two days, I doubt it. I'm, frankly, exhausted. And my imagination is beginning to resembled a shriveled raisin. Sad? Yes it is. The story is also picking a fight with me, trying to take me a direction I don't want to go, so that's making writing more difficult. Because I feel like everything I've wrote lately is crap. (Yes, writing crap is better than not writing, but I'm just too frustrated to deal with it now.) I'm going to write some more today. I can't guarantee it will be 5,000 words or even 500, but I'll keep writing until Dec. 1. Then I'm going to take a well-deserved break.

Normally, the daunting idea that I might not reach a goal would have my stomach in knots. I'm a perfectionist and I'm ambitious. I like to succeed. I like to reach my goals. Normally, I would be frantically pounding away at the keyboard (even if it was to repeat curse words over and over) in the hope that I would make it. But, you know what? I'm not stressing. Mainly because I have too many other goals that I am achieving that letting one slip is okay by me.

In my mind, just knowing that I wrote 40,000 words in one month is amazing. I've never written so many words in such a short amount of time! So, that makes me a winner in my own mind.

But how are you faring? Did you "win" this year or are you going to make your own blue ribbon out of glue and glitter?

Please share!

A Reminder to Be Thankful

2010-11-26T10:27:00.001-06:00

It's Black Friday. Yay. It just means that day I have to go back to work after being off. Which really messes up my whole week. I almost titled this post Monday Madness. Lol.

I honestly love Thanksgiving, though. And, no, it's not just for the stuffing and turkey and ZOMG pumpkin pie. I like it because it reminds us to step back and just reflect. To be thankful. To remember all the good things that are happening to us. At least, that's what its supposed to be once you peel away the gluttony and commercialism.

Here are a few things that I am thankful for:

My wonderful husband who is probably one of the most selfless, loving people I know. Even when he's being a butthead (like all men are).

My health. Despite the illnesses I've experienced in the past, I'm a pretty healthy person. And I have nothing permanently wrong with me (I know, that's up for debate).

My family. I have an awesome Mom, a stepdad who loves me and is proud of me (even if he won't admit it), a brother who is always on my side and many aunts, uncles and cousins who are some of the best people I know. Also, I now have an extended family and I love them to pieces. They are funny and crazy and welcome me with open arms. I couldn't ask for better in-laws.

My talents. I'm blessed, truly, with a lot of talents. I can write. I can draw. I can sing. I can even manage to dance sometimes. I have so many things I love to do and love to pursue. I'm glad I always have something to keep my occupied.

My friends. I'm thankful for the moments they are there. I'm thankful for their consideration and warmth. I'm grateful that I know so many talented and generous people (both online and in person) and am doubly grateful for all my writer friends at the Writer's Digest Sci-Fi/Fantasy forum.

My pets. My furry babies are my light. Even on the darkest days, they can make me smile with their tail-wagging and purring. They can heal a broken heart with just one cuddle. I love them so much!

Sometimes it's difficult to remember all the blessings in our life and it's easy to take them for granted. But I hope this week you remember what it is you are thankful for. Thank you for reading and please share what you are thankful for!

Book Review: Before I Fall

2010-11-24T06:00:00.001-06:00

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver is another book I've had my eye on for a while. The idea that you can come back and live your last day alive over and over until you get it right is intriguing. But it's also one of those ideas that can go very wrong if you don't do it right. Ms. Oliver did it right. (I also love the cover!)

According to the book's blurb:

What if you had only one day to live? What would you do? Who would you kiss? And how far would you go to save your own life?
Samantha Kingston has it all: the world's most crush-worthy boyfriend, three amazing best friends, and first pick of everything at Thomas Jefferson High--from the best table in the cafeteria to the choicest parking spot. Friday, February 12, should be just another day in her charmed life.
Instead, it turns out to be her last.
Then she gets a second chance. Seven chances, in fact. Reliving her last day during one miraculous week, she will untangle the mystery surrounding her death--and discover the true value of everything she is in danger of losing.

First off, Ms. Oliver can WRITE. Lordy, can she write. Everything felt fresh, and so true to a self-concerned high school girl's perspective. The shallowness of the MC wasn't overdone to the point where I wanted to smack her (or myself) but had just the right tone. In fact, Samantha seems very aware of how mean-girlish she can be and, for some reason, I liked that better than an MC who was completely clueless or even an MC who was on the other end of the spectrum (being the object of the cruelty). This was an MC with the potential to change. But would she?

I read this book in one day. Yep. That's how much I loved it. How much it absorbed me. I kept hoping that Sam would find a way to make everything right. I winced at her almost successes and understood the times when she just let it all go and did something crazy. This felt real to me, true to me, and something that I, if given the chance, could see myself doing.

I don't want to ruin the experience of discovering this story for yourself, but I will say that the end...shocked me. Made me cry. Not a happy ending, but not necessarily a sad one. If anything, a very, very fitting one. The ONLY one, I think. This is a book I not only recommend, but believe MUST be read.

Rating (out of five stars): 5 stars (amazing!)

Monday Madness: We Cannot Escape Our Genre

2010-11-22T11:55:00.000-06:00

If I had to define what type of writer I am, my first label would be fantasy, closely followed by romance. That's just what I like to write. It's what I like to read as well.

FURY I considered romantic fantasy. DRAGON QUEEN was fantasy, with touches of YA and romance. MORGUE TREE is YA fantasy. ONE THOUSAND is historical fantasy (also with romance). And LAST OF THE ELVES is romantic fantasy.

All of these are novels or WIPs. Big projects, as it were. However, while my short stories have similar elements of fantasy and love, they also tend to branch away and take other routes.

I recently wrote a short story for a for-fun contest on the WD Sci-Fi/Fantasy Forum. We had to take two eerie pictures (one of a misty castle and dragon and the other of a skull-mountain oozing blood) and write a horror story. I've never considered horror one of my strong suits, but I had a lot of fun exploring the genre. Making it eerie and creepy and giving it a not too happy ending.

But it still ended up being fantasy. And it still ended up having romance.

WTF?

So I looked at other stories. "For the Love of a Zombie" is about a vampire turning his beloved into a zombie, a bit of dark humor. But still, there was fantasy and there was romance.

"Eater of Worlds" is about a man returning to his homeland to destroy it and finds out it's his sister's fault that he has to do so. Fantasy, check. But romance? No. Yet there is still love there. Between siblings.

"Faceless" was a play into sci-fi. As a short story, it's possible that escapes my niche of fantasy and romance, but as I've thought about expanding it into a novel, what has it become? You guessed it. A romance.

"The Vulture and the Dove", about two clashing winged beings in a future Tokyo, also had the fantasy and romance.

It's like I can't escape it.

So, tell me, when you've branched out from your typical genre, have you noticed familiar things slipping in? Or can you completely break away from your usual writing style?

Assuage my curiosity. :)

Book Review: Graceling

2010-11-17T06:00:00.001-06:00

I've had Graceling by Kristin Cashore on my to-read list for some time. I heard really excellent things about it and the blurb was really intriguing. And the cover? OMG, so wonderful! I'm happy to say that Graceling lived up to my expectations.

From the book's blurb:

In a world where people born with an extreme skill--called a Grace--are feared and exploited, Katsa carries the burden of a skill even she despises: the Grace of killing. She lives under the command of her uncle Randa, King of the Middluns, and is expected to execute his dirty work, punishing and torturing anyone who displease him.
When she first meets Prince Po, who is Graced with combat skills, Katsa has no hint of how her life is about to change.
She never expects to become Po's friend.
She never expects to learn a new truth about her own Grace--or about a terrible secret that lies hidden far away...a secret that could destroy all seven kingdoms with words alone.

Graceling was a little hard to get into at first, mainly because it was difficult to work my way inside Katsa's head. I think this was more of a personal preference, however, than any flaw in the narration. Also, I think it had to do with me in the YA reading mode, and this...yes, it's labeled YA, but it felt more like strictly fantasy to me. It didn't have that YA feel. First off, the age of the character (if mentioned) isn't all that relevant to the story. It's not a coming of age story, though the MC does grow into her power and gain confidence as the story progresses. The romance is a little more...mature. (No, not in sex scenes, but in the way it is viewed by the MC. No straightforward love story here.) I think the only thing, in my mind, that qualifies this as YA, is the unadorned style of the narrative. It's simple, it's straightforward. And it works.

The more I read, the more I had to read. The pace picks up significantly after Po comes to Randa's court and the plot just gets better and better. The ending was satisfying, leaving me with that ah-that's-a-good-book glow. However, while I liked Katsa as a character and enjoyed watching her grow into herself, it was Po who captured my heart.

Rating (out of 5 stars): 4.5

Recommended: Yes, for fantasy buffs and readers thirsting for a strong, dynamic female MC.

Monday Madness: The Invisible Post

2010-11-15T10:34:00.000-06:00

That's right. It's invisible. Too bad. It's chock full of useful information that would probably land you an agent faster than you can snap your fingers. And it has a handy dandy spell that turns poorly written novels to solid gold (get cash for gold now!).

And, yes, I'm totally lying.

The truth is, I'm so far behind on NaNoWriMo, I can't think of anything useful or clever to share with you. So here is my not-so-cleverness. If you'd like, feel free to rub my face in your own NaNoWriMo success. I have 7,000 words to write.

Toodles!

Book Review: Paranormalcy

2010-11-10T06:00:00.000-06:00

Continuing my YA streak, I read Paranormalcy by Kiersten White over the weekend. Coming off of The Sky is Everywhere, it took me a while to get accustomed to this new MC, who was so different from Lennie that it was like crossing into a different universe (which is probably true, since there is an element of fantasy in Paranormalcy that was never in The Sky is Everywhere).

Evie, a sixteen-year-old operative of the International Paranormal Containment Agreement (IPCA), has the gift of seeing through paranormals' glamour, whether they be vampires, werewolves or faeries. At the beginning of the book, she comes across as a flippant, pop culture-obsessed teen...and a bit annoying. Thankfully, she's a dynamic character and doesn't remain so shallow throughout the story (whew). I actually liked her at the end of the book, which I wasn't so sure about in the beginning.

According to the book's blurb:

Weird as it is working for the International Paranormal Containment Agency, Evie's always thought of herself as normal. Sure, her best friend is a mermaid, her ex-boyfriend is a faerie, she's falling for a shape-shifter, and she's the only person who can see through paranormals' glamours, but still. Normal.
Only now paranormals are dying, and Evie's dreams are filled with haunting voices and mysterious prophecies. She soon realizes that there may be a link between her abilities and the sudden rash of deaths. Not only that, but she may very well be at the center of a dark faerie prophecy promising destruction to all paranormal creatures.
So much for normal.

Keeping with the light, airy quality of the MC, the story is pretty, well, optimistic. Bad things are happening, but they always felt a little distant, and they always had that edge of happy-go-lucky the MC brings along. Not sure why, but the dark aspect of this story felt more gray than black. Every character seemed redeemable, every prophecy taken not too seriously, which is remarkable in this type of story. This story was an easy, enjoyable read, but lacked the urgency I would have liked. Sure, you know a happy ending is going to happen, but I like having moments throughout the story where you second-guess that. Not so much here.

What I really liked about the book was the MC. Sure, I found her annoying in the beginning of the book, but annoying in the realistic way all teenage girls can be. A little shallow. A little too full of herself. A little too obsessed with TV shows and stars. Unlike Beautiful Creatures and The Sky is Everywhere, Paranormalcy showed the other side of the teenage girl spectrum: the silly, cheery girl who likes pink, fashion, shopping and boys...rather than the tormented artist whom no one understands. A refreshing MC.

And kudos to Ms. White for the creepiest "good guy" ever.CREEPY, I'm telling you!

Rating (out of five stars): 3.5

Recommended: Yes, for those looking for an easy, light-hearted read (overall).

Sharing the Inspiration

2010-11-09T11:59:00.000-06:00

I thought I would share some of the things that have inspired me on my NaNoWriMo journey with The Morgue Tree. Enjoy!

"Shadows" by RED

My character sketch of Morgan the MC

"Whispers in the Dark" by Skillet

The Dark Tree by x horizon (DeviantArt)

"Breath" by Breaking Benjamin

What are some of your inspirations?

Monday Madness: Tips for Tackling NaNoWriMo

2010-11-08T10:29:00.001-06:00

So, fellow NaNo-ers, how's it coming? Are you staying on top of your goals? Flagging behind? Have you suddenly sprouted extra fingers and are simultaneously banging out two separate scenes in your novel? (If so, can I borrow a pair?)

I'll admit, I'm behind. Because, well, I'm not the best at sitting in front a computer on the weekends so, yeah...

BUT, I will catch up. All I have to do is write 5,000 words and I'll be good. Think I can't do it? Think again!

I have some secrets up my sleeve. Okay, not secrets, but some nifty tools that help me out. And, because I'm feeling generous today (and riding a sugar high brought on by a powdered donut), here are some of the things I use to keep me on track.

Write or Die. I'm usually pressed for time and always easily distracted, so Write or Die by Dr. Wicked is a great tool to keep me on track. I usually write about 1,000 words at a time (to keep it down to manageable chunks) but you can set it for as many as you want (I think up to 50,000).

Pandora. I like to use music to get me in the mood to write, and nothing is better for that than a personalized radio station. If I have a certain theme in mind for a story, then I can enter a similar music style and create a station. For The Morgue Tree, I'm going with a lot of Breaking Benjamin, Fireflight and Paramore. Yep, it's emo.

Revising. This might sound a little counterproductive, but it helps me narrow the focus of the story. While using Write or Die, the things I write can be either raw genius or pure garbage. I do a lot of pruning and polishing, and, by doing this, usually have a stronger hold on the story. I usually add words, too. And, since I'm a perfectionist, I can feel more comfortable about moving on with the story, knowing that it's not a lot of crap just taking up space.

How about you? Have any tips that keep you on track? And are you on track?

Book Review: The Sky is Everywhere

2010-11-03T09:19:00.000-05:00

I read The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson in one day. That's right. I started it yesterday on my lunch break and continued reading it when I got home (even including it in my workout). It's not a lengthy read, true, but that's not why I read it in one day. I read it in one day because it's one of those books that you can't NOT read. It grabs you. Sucks you in. It makes you want to laugh and cry. It steals your breath away.

It's YA, told from the first-person viewpoint of Lennie Walker, a 17-year-old clarinetist who's just lost her older sister, Bailey. It's about grief, happiness, life and death, and the many, many forms of love.

From the book's blurb:

Seventeen-year-old Lennie Walker, bookworm and band geek, plays second clarinet and spends her time tucked safely and happily in the shadow of her fiery older sister, Bailey. But when Bailey dies abruptly, Lennie is catapulted to center stage of her own life—and, despite her nonexistent history with boys, suddenly finds herself struggling to balance two. Toby was Bailey's boyfriend; his grief mirrors Lennie's own. Joe is the new boy in town, a transplant from Paris whose nearly magical grin is matched only by his musical talent. For Lennie, they're the sun and the moon; one boy takes her out of her sorrow, the other comforts her in it. But just like their celestial counterparts, they can't collide without the whole wide world exploding.

It's an amazing and heart-wrenching story. I really can't say enough about it. But the thing that struck me the most about this story is the beautiful, unique imagery. Everything felt fresh, despite exploring familiar YA territory. Nelson's writing breathes on the page. Every paragraph, every sentence, was a treasure. There's nothing cliche about any of her descriptions. Honestly, when I grow up, I want to be Jandy Nelson.

Read this book. Read it now.

Monday Madness: Do or Do Not...There is No Try

2010-11-01T09:29:00.000-05:00

“Do or do not...there is no try.”

Aside from “Luke, I am your father” that famous line by Yoda is probably the most popular quotation from Star Wars. (Even if you’re not a Star Wars buff, you’ve probably heard it somewhere.)

As writers, it’s hard to distinguish between trying and doing. After all, we spend most of our time TRYING to polish our novel, TRYING to write a query, TRYING to snag an agent/editor, TRYING to get published. Whether we actually succeed depends on a mixture of skill and luck and timing, right?

Not quite.

See, there’s a difference between trying (which is often a soft excuse for not succeeding) than doing. If you’re TRYING to write a query letter, will it ever be finished? If you’re TRYING to get an agent/editor, will you actually ever get one? With TRYING there’s no guarantee of results, but with DOING, there is.

The main difference between trying and doing is perseverance and attitude. If you try to do something, there’s a big chance that you’re going to get discouraged and quit trying at some point, but if you’re doing something, then it’s a bit more difficult to stop.

Take NaNoWriMo, for instance. There's a lot of people out there who are going to "try" to participate, but by saying "try" they are not fully investing themselves in the process. They might be discouraged by other obligations, make excuses, half-heartedly invest in it. But if you approach NaNo with the "I am going to do this" attitude, then you're more likely to succeed.

So, let's say it together: No more trying. Now is the time to start doing. I AM going to finish that novel. I AM going to get an agent/editor. I AM going to get published.

Let's do it!

I've Never Done This Before

2010-10-29T10:07:00.000-05:00

So, I've officially joined NaNoWriMo. (My username is Brandi_Fey, if you want to friend me!) I've never done NaNo before because, honestly, I'm more of a muse writer. When the muse hits me, I write. It could be 50 words. It could be 5,000. Just depends. So, this is a bit intimidating for me. I'm not one of those writers who usually has a word goal. (Which is probably why I've only finished two novels so far.)

But I've decided to use this NaNo to finish my YA fantasy "The Morgue Tree" (see sidebar for excerpt). I've only written 3,000 words and then stopped because I couldn't figure out where it was going. But in anticipation of NaNo, I've been brainstorming and coming up with some pretty intriguing ideas. If they work, however, is another thing.

What I'm going for in Morgue Tree is an Alice In Wonderland feel (but without the acid), because the Tree is part of Morgan's (the MC) subconscious. But it has another twist and another influence (a very evil one).

The world that I'm creating here is part of, and yet separate from, ours. The residents of Mirror Lake actually call the world we occupy the Other Side. I've been playing with this and exploring some fairy legends and I like where they're taking me. But I doubt I'll make Morgan and her friends actual fairies, but they will be Fae in a way, with weird powers and abilities. Not quite human. But not too special/powerful.

Lots of ideas brewing, which is a good thing. Also, did I mention that I'm doing this sort of like Shiver? From the viewpoints of two different people, in first person. I'm having fun with it at the moment (and it keeps me from being bored) but I'm not sure if it's going to work in the end. We'll see.

So what about you? What kind of ideas do you have brewing for NaNo?

Book Review: Beautiful Creatures

2010-10-27T09:43:00.001-05:00

I put off reading Beautiful Creatures because I thought it was just another teen vampire novel. I'm happy to say there wasn't a vampire in sight (though one character did come close).

Set in the small, backward town of Gatlin, S.C., the story is told from first person POV. And, here's another nice twist, the POV character isn't female. The male MC, Ethan, tells the story from his POV. Even though this story was written by two female writers--Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl--the MC felt genuinely masculine (if not overly so) and had the same thoughts, hopes and dreams that I imagined any sixteen-year-old boy would have. (Except that he's maybe a little more in touch with his feelings; or at least more honest about them.)

Enter the new girl. (Didn't see that coming, did you?) Lena Duchannes is an odd one. Dark-haired, pale, but (of course) gorgeous, she wears a lot of black and writes on everything. Everyone immediately dislikes her because she's "not like them" and the name-calling and nastiness ensues. Ethan, of course, is drawn to Lena in a way he can't explain and becomes her champion...becoming an outcast in the process. A bit predictable, yes, but the setting and MC's take on things make it a worthwhile read.

But if you were thinking Lena might be a vampire, you're wrong. She's a witch. (Completely redeems the book in my eyes.) And she's also cursed. (Of course.) When she turns sixteen, she will either become a Dark or Light witch. The choice isn't hers, and the countdown begins. Ethan and Lena try to discover a way to prevent her from becoming a Dark witch as they explore their feelings for each other (and the nightmares they share). It turns out that the small town of Gatlin has more secrets (and more magic) than anyone could have ever guessed or suspected hidden under its southern pride and confederate sympathies.

This was a fairly fast-paced book. (I read it in two days.) The characters were interesting and there were enough twists and turns to keep me guessing. The thing I loved most about this book, however, was that the title referred not to the witches (or Casters, as they preferred to be called), but to humans. As Macon Ravenwood (Lena's uncle and the closest thing to a vampire in the book) says, "Humans are such beautiful creatures." (Roughly. I don't have the book on me at this time, but that's the gist of what he says.)

A pretty good YA book (and the Civil War history was really interesting). Out of five stars, I give it four.

The sequel, Beautiful Darkness, is now out in hardcover. I'll put it on my to-read list.

Monday Madness: Better Late Than Never

2010-10-25T14:32:00.000-05:00

Oops. Yep, I know, I'm late. Sorry. Usually I write these things ahead of time and pre-schedule them to avoid this, but, yeah. I've been busy.

So, this Monday, I would like to talk about procrastination.

Or get around to talking about procrastination. Look! Something shiny!

Ahem. Okay, seriously, procrastination is a writer's best frenemy. It's fuzzy and cuddly and oh-so-much-fun, until you realize that you haven't written two sentences in the three hours you've been on your computer.

So, if you're like me and haven't finished your short story because there are just so many cool websites out there, here are some tips for overcoming procrastination:

1. Stay away from technology. No computer. No TV. No Kindle/e-reader. Not even a radio. Grab some paper, a pen and a hard surface and go at it the old fashioned way. (Also, stay away from windows.)

2. Use Write or Die. This is a handy online tool (and FREE) that will help you overcome writer's block or lack of motivation or both! And did I mention it's free?

3. Have a brainstorm session. By this I mean that you just write whatever pops into your head. Write without editing or worrying if it's good enough.

4. Set yourself a goal with rewards/punishments. For example: If I write 1,000 words today/finish this scene/finish this chapter, I can go have ice cream. If I don't, I have to pick up rocks in the backyard. (But this only works if you're the type to stick to your rewards/punishments. If you have ice cream either way, it defeats the purpose.

So what about you? How do you tackle procrastination?

I've NEVER laughed so hard in my life!

2010-10-20T12:16:00.004-05:00

Had to share!

Monday Madness: What To Do When They Just Don't "Get It"

2010-10-18T08:00:00.002-05:00

There have been times when I've written something that was simply on fire. I loved it. LOVED it. So I submit it for critique with bated breath, crossing my fingers and hoping they love it too. (For those of you out there further along in the publishing process, you might have experienced a similar feeling with submitting query letters.) But then the responses come back and you realize what you were so enthusiastic about has other people scratching their heads.

My first (and suppressed) reaction is always: What do you MEAN you don't get it? What don't you understand? He's a unicorn-dragon hybrid who breathes underwater! What's not to get??? (Ramble into incoherence.)

My second is: What don't you get?

It's always best to ask for specifics. If they can't be specific, you have my permission to stick your tongue out at them and move on (JOKING). But, seriously, if they can't pinpoint what's bugging them about your story then try to find someone who can. In most circumstances, once the first person puts a finger on what's bothering them, the others will usually chime in with "Yeah, that's what I meant!"

Third: How would you recommend fixing it?

Sometimes your critters will offer you suggestions on how to clear up what they "don't get." Maybe it's scene clarification or a more detailed description of the unfolding events, etc. Maybe it's just inserting one word. But usually you get an awesome brainstorm session from the don't-getters in the end and (who knows?) you might end up with an even more awesome story than before.

(Just a side note here: A reader who doesn't get it is NOT the same thing as a reader who doesn't LIKE it for whatever reason. But even for the latter, if they can't give you a reason for their dislike, it's best to just make a mental note "OK, so-and-so doesn't like it" and go on with the story. Not everyone is going to jive with your story, but they should all be able to at least "get it.")

Hooray for Friday!

2010-10-15T10:04:00.001-05:00

I'm super excited for this weekend! My mom, cousin and I are going to Afton, Okla., for their monthly swap meet! Yay! Animals! Yay! Flea Markets! Yay! Awesome Mexican food! I'm seriously looking forward to this. :D

And, what my husband doesn't know, is that if they have kittens there...I might be returning home with one. Muahahaha.

How can you resist me?

So, what about you? Have any awesome plans for the weekend?

Good News! I'm not dead!

2010-10-12T16:26:00.000-05:00

I'm on the mend. Finally. I suffered a setback over the weekend because I had a severe allergic reaction to my antibiotics. Only one day left to take them and I have a reaction! Gah! But, I'm better now. My skin has returned to its normal hue and my brain is halfway functioning. So, yay!

I have good news to share, as well. (Besides that I'm not dead.) I recently submitted a story to an anthology and it passed through the first round of submissions. That's not to say that it won't be rejected the next round, but it made me happy that it wasn't so horrible it garnered an instantaneous rejection. So, smiley face!

I really needed that boost, too, because my enthusiasm has been flagging again. (Though I partly blame that on being ill and on medication.) Hopefully this will give me the spark I need to continue on with my novels (which have been gathering dust (or mold, take your pick) on the thumb drive). I'm liking this short story writing, however, because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It only takes me a few hours to finish a rough draft, compared to a few months for a novel. And editing/revising is SO much easier. But, of course, short stories have their own set of challenges, which I'm enjoying grappling with. Rawr!

I've been considering participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I've never done it before (because I'm awful about sticking to a writing schedule), but maybe this is the time for it. I could really use another complete novel. I'm think YA. I might even cheat a little by using Morgan's Tree. But since it's only like 3K, it wouldn't be cheating too badly, right? Plus, I really want to finish it and this might give me the motivation I need.

Monday Madness: He Said, She Said (The Great "Said" Debate)

2010-10-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

"Said is an invisible word. Readers' brains skip right over it," he said.

"But it's so boring," she argued.

"That's the point," he insisted.

"Whatever," she muttered.

When I started writing toward publication, I viewed dialogue tags in the same way I viewed verbs: the more specific they are, the stronger the writing.

And then I joined a critique group whose members said that I was figuratively bludgeoning them to death with all my mutters, whispers, groans and exclamations. And thus we entered the Great Said Debate.

There are some who believe that said is the only dialogue tag to be used at all (with the exception of asked, but even that's not necessary to some). Then there are those (like the greener me) that used them ALL THE TIME and couldn't get enough of them.

Now, I'm proud to say that I'm somewhere in-between. But I've some guidelines that I follow now:

1. What do you think you're doing?

When I've finished a line of dialogue, I think about what that character is doing at that moment. What is their state of mind? Are they in the middle of an action? If so, that action can often be used in place of a dialogue tag. (This method is very much approved by most agents.)

Example: Instead of, "You cannot defeat the Ogre Army all by yourself!" Ulrich said angrily. You can say, Ulrich slammed a fist on the table. "You cannot defeat the Ogre Army all by yourself!"

2. Too much action, not enough talk.

Mickey touched her shoulder. "I love you."

She stepped away. "I don't love you."

He followed. "That's not what you said last night."

"Last night I was drunk." She laughed.

(Note that "laughed" is not a dialogue tag. (Please, for the love of sweet, baby giraffes.))
Just as it's possible to overuse dialogue tags, it's possible to overuse action. The trick is finding a happy medium. (I hate it when people tell me that. Lol.)

3. If you have to use an adverb with said, you're probably better off using something else.

I hate adverbs. Really. Epecially "-ly" ones. In the words of Mark Twain, "If you see an adverb, kill it."

4. You say it best when you say nothing at all.

Sometimes when it comes to dialogue, you don't have to use tags or actions every time someone speaks to indicate which person is speaking. As long as your consistent with your paragraph breaks (new paragraph for a new speaker) then a reader should be able to follow. And if you have a long scene of conversation, this comes in handy.

The choice of when to use action, when to use a tag or when to use nothing really boils down to fluidity. What makes the story flow the best? To see if your conversation is working, read it aloud. If you're tripping over tags and slogging through the action, then there's something wrong and you need some pruning.

But that's what she said.

Randomness

2010-10-08T16:43:00.000-05:00

Just some random information you may or may not care about, but has been on my mind for some reason:

I'm the most cautious impulsive person you'll ever meet.

I have the urges to do stupid things all the time, like jump out of windows, in front of vehicles, touch hot surfaces, pick my nose in public, etc., just to see what would happen. Though I KNOW that nothing good would happen. So I refrain. But barely. (I also have awful road rage, which is why I do not carry a gun. Because I would shoot so many people's tires out.)

Sometimes I forget that I'm alive, breathing, experiencing, and then I get these huge moments of self-awareness. I think, Whoa, I'm here. Right now. In this chair. That's amazing.

I drink lemon juice by the shot glass. I used to do this all the time when I was younger and wanted to be "adult." Lemon juice almost manifests the same, scrunched, painful faces as whiskey. Though lemon juice has yet to make me want to throw up.

I have prophetic dreams at times. Recently I've been dreaming that I find my cat. I'm hoping that comes true.

A book or movie can completely alter my mood. And it will stay that way ALL DAY. I watched the episode of Gilmore Girls where Lorelai sleeps with Chris because Luke won't marry her right that second and I was so PISSED for the rest of the day! Same thing happened when Rory quit college. (Yes, I'm sad.)

What about you? Have any random things going for you?

Harry Potter (Belated Banned Book Review)

2010-10-05T14:46:00.000-05:00

I was twelve when the first Harry Potter came out.

That's right: twelve.

And I was SO disappointed that I never got my Hogwarts letter. I kept checking my window, hoping that maybe the owl was delayed or had gotten lost and that my letter to the famous school of wizards was on its way. (Never mind that I live in the U.S. and using an owl to fly from Britain to Arkansas would be a form of animal cruelty.) I was seriously obsessed with this book. It opened a whole new world for me. A special world where magic and flying broomsticks secretly existed beside parking meters and burger joints. Looking back on how obsessed I was with these books (and still am obsessed to some degree) I can understand why some parents might flip out.

It's sort of the same thing with Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game. It's often misconstrued as a gateway for evil and an encouragement for murder (where they get the connection that rolling dice and slaying dragons equals a desire to pick up a gun and blow your neighbor away...I have no idea). Growing up in the Bible Belt, I dealt with a lot of narrow-mindedness when it came to ANYTHING dealing with magic. I had friends who weren't allowed to watch Beauty and the Beast because the dishes were "possessed." Seriously. So when Harry Potter came out and started a literary fire, I remember all the church officials marching up to my school and demanding that such unholy filth be removed from the reach of innocents.

Nope. Not kidding.

Now, even though I was obsessed (maybe even unhealthily obsessed) with Harry Potter, there are some things a twelve year old understands immediately when she opens a book.

1. It's a book. Therefore, no matter how real the characters/situations feel, it's NOT real.
2. There's a difference between a satanic how-to and a story. Harry Potter is definitely not the former. (Though maybe if you highlight every fourth word every three paragraphs... Nope, gibberish.)
3. Reading a story (or even an instructional how-to) does not mean that you will start a cultish following and start waving wands at people and shouting "Expelliarmus!"

My thoughts? While some people forge into the unknown without a second thought, that same uncertainty scares the beejeezus out of others. Banned books are really about people being afraid; afraid of magic, the Devil or even immorality. And they think that books are powerful tools in conveying such dastardly ideas. But what they don't understand is that even a twelve year old--heck, even an eleven year old--can take what they want from a story and leave the rest.

What I thought was hilarious? At the time they were fighting to keep Harry Potter out of the schools, I discovered a lesbian erotica in the school's library. But there wasn't any magic in it...so I guess it's more appropriate for junior high kids than Harry Potter. ;)

Note: Yes, I was going to do Maya Angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings but I haven't had the time or the energy to get to the library. I highly recommend it, however.